7 Tell-Tale Signs You're A Tourist In Florida & Stick Out Like A Sore Thumb
Don't be that guy.
A crowded Florida Beach. Right: Tourists walking the streets.
This Opinion article is part of a Narcity Media series. The views expressed are the author's own and do not necessarily reflect the views of Narcity Media.
While the holidays might be over, tourist season is still in full swing. As a local to sunny South Florida, it's pretty clear who is from the area and who isn't.
Tourism might be a benefit for the Sunshine State's cities, but like most things...it can get pretty old. Many residents are getting sick of the backed-up traffic, noisy crowds of people at the beach and constant complaints about how things are different where they live.
Don't even get me started on the outfits.
If you're a Florida visitor, I compiled a list of things that are tell-tale signs to locals that you're just visiting and stick out like a sore thumb.
You rock a banana hammock.
If you don't know what a banana hammock is, essentially, it's a speedo. Unless you're a retiree, many people from out of state and even outside of the country come to Florida and strip down to their little bathing suits.
There's, of course, nothing wrong with it if that's what you prefer to wear, but it's mainly snowbirds and those foreign to Florida who want to show off those upper thighs.
You wear short sleeves and shorts when it's cold outside.
You might as well have tourist written across your forehead.
Any temperature drop below 70 degrees is freezing for Floridians. We know you're used to the cold weather if you walk around this way, and it's a tell-tale sign you're from a different state.
You drive really slow.
I'm not saying Floridians drive really fast, but if you're not familiar with the roads, it's quite obvious. Florida has different roadways than some other states, and it changes from Miami to West Palm Beach.
You see, from city streets to more suburban areas (and with such a populated state) the traffic is bad enough. If you're driving extra slow and it seems like you have no idea what you're doing, we know you're not an Uber driver...you're just visiting and making the rest of us late to our destination.
You glisten in the sun wearing pounds of tanning oil.
Overuse of tanning oil is always a surefire way to spot someone from up north or the midwest. They think extra oil will bronze their fair skin, and they start to sparkle in the sunlight.
What they don't realize is how strong the Florida sun is. You can bake so easily, be careful you don't fry up!
You compare everything you eat to how it's made in your state.
Tourists love comparisons, especially at seafood restaurants. If you're from Boston and you're trying the lobster, we know. Everyone knows. You make sure everyone knows that there's nothing better than the lobster from your state.
If that's the case, get something else.
If you're from New York, and you order pizza, we know it. Everyone knows. You make sure nothing compares to a New York Pie.
Again, if that's the case, then get something else.
You pull out your phone to take a picture of iguanas.
Iguanas are like local celebrities. People from all over the U.S. barely know they exist so freely. To Floridians, they are so annoying and they poop everywhere.
To visitors, it's time to take out your camera, get real close, stay real quiet and pray it doesn't move before you get the shot of the scaly creature.
You complain how pricey it is when you only go to populated beach restaurants.
Only the tourists are hanging out at the restaurants along the beach that will charge you $5 for a coke. Locals will enjoy the beach, and the less crowded part at that, and then they'll walk the extra mile to affordably priced restaurants.
So many people complain that Florida is expensive because they are going to all the wrong places. You want to spot a tourist? Go to those places.
Before you get going, check out our Responsible Travel Guide so you can be informed, be safe, be smart, and most of all, be respectful on your adventure.
