11 Struggles That Interracial Couples Know Too Well
Love, it's a four letter word that is simple to read, write and comprehend. Love can be defined as a simple admiration and longing for someone who simply makes you happy. Simple-- love should just be a simple concept, right? Something as simple as the word 'love' is in fact not as simple when it comes to 21st century dating. Back in the day, the social norms of love were very rigid and strict as people were ignorant to a lot of issues that have been dealt with and addressed in this day and age. Now what was incredibly taboo not even 15 years ago is now becoming more normalized and welcomed. LGBTQ couples are becoming more and more accepted by society, and now interracial dating is also becoming more and more popular.
I mean, it's honestly not all that taboo when you logically think about it. I personally think that if you truly love a person, you love them for their soul and not just for the colour of their skin. Love is definitely so much deeper than the physical and should be concentrated on the content of one's character. Unfortunately, although it is definitely becoming less of a social issue today, interracial is a lot more difficult than you'd think.
Here are just a few struggles most interracial couples will definitely understand.
People say weird, sexual things as if your relationship is just a "fetish".
Although they do in fact exist, not all interracial relationships are fetishes. Sometimes you fall for someone for more than their skin colour and it's not an intense fascination at all, it's simply because you love them. Furthermore, if a white man only dated white women, no one would look twice. If a white man only dates Asian women, though, everyone seems to assume he is a ‘creep.’ That’s not fair.
Having to learn, adapt and integrate the two different cultures, ideologies and values.
Especially since many cultures identify with specific religions and moral upbringings, it's hard to get them to work. For example, coming from a conservative Asian family might conflict with someone from a Western Caucasian family that is more Liberal and free spirited. It takes work to understand what each other's values are and how to integrate and respect them.
"It's just a phase".
Choosing to love someone who loves me back and respects me is not a phase. Maybe it started out as one, but if my feelings are genuine then who are you to tell me what is temporary and what is real?
The not-so-funny racial jokes.
"I bet you eat a lot of tacos nows, huh?", "So I guess you like white chocolate, huh?", "Once you go black..." --- HAHAHAHAHAHA, grow up.
Meeting the parents.
Some parents are cool with it, while others don't seem to take it well. Especially if both your parents are the same race, it makes it harder for them to open their minds to dating outside your cultural circle. It's going to be uncomfortable at first, but they will learn to adapt and accept your decision.
And other family events.
It isn't just the parents that you have to warm everyone up to, it's the entire squad. Uncle Jim, Aunt Grace, Cousin Ashley-- they've got to get on board too. Family parties are even more intimidating because here come all the inappropriate questions like "do you only date *insert race here*?" and "what do your parents think about this?". Don't worry, the anxiety dies down once you get the hang of how things work.
Newsflash: not every Asian woman is with a white man for their citizenship. Not all black men are thugs, and not all white women are gold diggers. That being said, stereotypes are only stereotypes if we continue to encourage them. So let's just eat this cake of smiles and rainbows and be happy.
When people ask what's wrong with your own race.
Honestly, nothing. I just happened to fall in love with someone who isn't within that circle. My race is fine, thanks for asking.
The side glances from others in a public space.
It baffles my mind how taboo people still think interracial dating is. It's almost dehumanizing seeing people constantly look at and judge your relationship. It shouldn't be crazy to see two people of different backgrounds walk the streets hand in hand and honestly if you don't like looking at it then don't.
Now that's what I call simple.
People constantly treat your relationship like a global charity case.
It's flattering, really, but me being in an interracial relationship isn't going to change the world. My relationship isn't any different than any other relationship so please stop drawing unnecessary attention to it.
Having everyone around you remind you about each of your races.
Oh really? Gee, thanks for the unnecessary reminder! I don't what I'm going to do with that information but thanks for disclosing!
Seriously, do you remind your friends who have the same race as you that you're the same race? I doubt it so keep that idea to yourself. Honestly, we don't seem to notice nor do we seem to care.
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