Sign in
12 Brutally Honest Jokes About Ontario Universities

In Ontario, the university scene is a cutthroat and unforgiving one. Students are constantly judged for the school they go to based on a set of clichéd stereotypes that may or may not be true. No university is safe from the perpetual pigeonholing either - there's always something held against each university, whether its a subpar international reputation, a grotesque campus environment or an unbearably mundane party scene.

READ ALSO: This Is How Many University Students It Takes To Change A Lightbulb Across Canada

Ontario university stereotypes are a popular conversation on online forums. One commenter in an old thread on StudentAwards.com posted a series jokes and generalizations about various schools in the province. Though they may be brutally honest, they do make for some pretty great laughs.

Here are 12 brutally honest jokes about Ontario universities:

1. Why don't they have Christmas at Western?

They can't find a virgin and three wise men.

2. How do they separate the men from the boys at McMaster?

With a restraining order.

3. Why is it so windy in Kingston?

Because Queen's blows.

4. What do you get when you drive quickly through the Laurier campus

An undergraduate degree.

5. What's the first thing a York girl does when she wakes up in the morning?

Walks home.

6. How can you tell if a McMaster student is a heterosexual?

He can outrun his roommate!

7. What does a U of T student call a Waterloo student after graduation

Boss.

8. Why do they sell so many button-fly jeans in Guelph?

Because the sheep can hear the zippers a mile away.

9. Did you hear that the library at Ryerson burned down?

Naturally, the students were very upset... Some of the books weren't coloured-in yet.

10. Why do York graduates put a copy of their diploma in the window of their vehicles?

So they can park in handicap spaces.

11. How do you get a Western grad off your front porch?

Pay him for the pizza.

12. Who does the Waterloo Engineering Society fear the most?

Immigration.

Source: SirGaGa

Stay Informed
Get Toronto's latest and greatest stories every day straight to your inbox.

Dr. Christopher Hassell has paused his practice at York Medical, a clinic in Richmond Hill, for the "foreseeable future" after allegations of him giving out exemptions to COVID-19 mandates.

Tweets of the incident, which have since been deleted, show long lines wrapping around the building this past Saturday, with allegations of Dr. Christopher Hassell giving out exemptions for the mask mandate and possibly COVID-19 vaccines.

Keep Reading Show less

COVID-19 celebrations have been tricky during the pandemic and you may have missed a big birthday celebration or two.

According to a survey by OpenTable, 65% of "Ontarians missed celebrating milestones such as birthdays and anniversaries due to the COVID-19 pandemic," and 26% are planning a do-over celebration.

Keep Reading Show less

Oshawa PPC candidate Darryl Mackie got himself in some hot water Wednesday morning after refusing to show proof of vaccination or wear a mask at his local Tim Hortons.

Durham Regional Police told Narcity they received a call yesterday just before 10 a.m. regarding Mackie at an Oshawa Tim Hortons because he refused to wear a mask or show his vaccination status.

Keep Reading Show less

Narcity may receive a small commission if you purchase something we recommend in this article, which was created by the Narcity Shop team. Items are in stock and prices are confirmed at the time of publishing, but they can change at any time.

Sweater weather has finally arrived in Canada and I for one couldn't be happier. Along with stylish shackets and warm flannel sheets, we want to make sure you're as comfy as possible this fall. That's why we've put together this list of some of the softest and coziest sweaters the internet has to offer!

Keep Reading Show less