16 Things You Should Never Say To Your Starbucks Barista

From a former barista.
16 Things You Should Never Say To Your Starbucks Barista

Working at Starbucks was one of the most challenging and rewarding part-time jobs I'd ever done during my high school and university years. In retrospect, I'm proud to have donned a green apron (and a red one during Christmas) and to have served grande dark roasts to my regulars.

That being said, everyone has their days. During my former barista life, there were odd recurring phrases that would throw me off and make me take a step back. While the good memories certainly outweigh the bad during my barista days, that doesn't mean the bad have necessarily been shut out of my mind. No, I can hear them pretty well in my head, even today.

Here's 16 things you should never (ever) say to your Starbucks barista:

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"Oh, could I actually not get whipped cream on that?" *After making your drink*

*Scrapes it off with a spoon*

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"What are the names of your sizes again?"

You could say tall, medium or large and I wouldn't flinch.

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"Could I get an Iced Capp?"

Wrong place.

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"I wanted that iced."

Let me just go throw in some ice cubes then.

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"Do you guys still make the Unicorn Frappuccino?"

Don't. Start.

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"Could I get it non-lactose with just a little bit of whipped cream."

All right, rest in peace. Could I get you anything else today?

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"Do you have almond or coconut milk? No?" *Storms out of the store*

It's not my fault, I swear.

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"My name is *Insert obscure celebrity name that will be embarrassing to call out when your drink is finished*"

"I got one Venti Caramel Frappuccino for Satan."

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"This doesn't taste like non-fat milk."

Oh, I'm sorry. Let me just use the exact same milk and make you the exact same drink all over again.

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Non-Starbucks Gold Member: "Hey it's my birthday, can I get a free drink."

It doesn't work like that.

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"I hope you didn't charge me twice!" *After scanning Starbucks reward card before we hit the button*

Slow down.

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"Could I get a green tea."

Sure, which type? And if you say "any", don't complain when I get you a mint flavoured one.

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"It's decaf right?"

You've asked me twice. I will make it caf if you ask a third.

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"Could I get an extra foam latte?"

You mean a cappuccino?

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"Can I reload my card first?" *After making a long order*

This. This might just be the worst thing to say to your barista.

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"Hmmm."

Don't worry - the line behind you is only getting longer.

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