Baseball is often credited as America's past time, but Canadians have had their fun with it, too. Just ask our resident MLB sweethearts, the Toronto Blue Jays. And just like American's don't own baseball, men don't own it either.
Baseball is not a boys club. There are plenty of babes I know (other than Ruth) that call baseball the love of their life. With love, comes struggles - in this case, 18 of them.
1. "Girls don't play baseball, they play softball."
Wrong. Not that there's anything wrong with softball, but I think I know what sport I play, thanks.
2. People always underestimate your throw.
Throwing like a girl is one of the stupidest expressions known to mankind. Guess what? I throw like a girl. And when I do, the ball goes fast and where I need it to go. Fvck your throw, guy.
3. Your uniform is usually a Halloween costume.
Worn by basic bitches who don't know the difference between a ball and a strike. I am pained, seeing girls with black paint under their eyes and booty-shorts. Do you know what would happen if you slid to 2nd in booty shorts? TORN SKIN, OKAY.
4. Everyone complains about how long your games are.
When they're only 9 innings! Dude I've been to baseball games that have lasted 12 innings, and you're yawning at the bottom of the 4th? Please hand in your hotdog, you are not worthy.
5. Enduring your friends' selfies & gossip during Jays games.
Yes, Jonah is a douchebag but we just missed a double play. Court - can you not put the dog filter on me right now I'm trying to focus.
6. Being the only one hyped for the 7th inning stretch.
OKAY? OKAY! BLUE JAYS? BLUE JAYS! LET'S! PLAY! BALL! Guuuyyyyys stand up, you're embarrassing me!
7. Having serious heart eyes for major league players.
8. You rocked knee socks way before they were Insta-famous.
Except you wore them with your baseball pants, not Brandy Melville pyjama shorts and a cup of tea in bed.
9. And baseball hats, too.
They weren't always such a style staple, okay. On that note -
10. Hat hair.
Need I say more? #worst
11. "You don't need to be in shape to be a baseball player."
Uuuuuuuuh really? Because I need strength in my hips for my swing, strength in my arms for my throw, strong legs for running, co-ordination to complete plays, and agility to do it before a runner gets on bag. Can't do that on a diet of Fritos and couch-surfing.
12. No one loves 'Take Me Out To The Ball Game' like you do.
It is a beautiful, heartfelt anthem of youth and baseball that you clearly don't understand.
13. Having to support every baseball movie that comes out.
Because 42 was a cinematic masterpiece that did not get enough credit.
14. Benny "The Jet" Rodrigues was one of your first crushes.
When he wasn't even a real person. The Sandlot said he grew up to play with the Dodgers, but not without you by his side.
15. No stains compare the ones on your uniform.
Whether they were dirt or grass, stains mean you were playing with passion. So what if you got tomato sauce on your pants? You were passionately eating a magherita pizza. And tomato comes out with soda water - red field dirt? Not so much.
16. You've spent a disgusting amount of money on Big League Chew.
That's what the pro's chew!! You thought, before you discovered chewing tobacco was a thing.
17. Whipping out baseball terms in regular conversation
Hey, don't worry about it man, no one can bat .300 everyday! Whoops, I mean...yeah, nobody's perfect.
18. "Baseball is sooOoo boring."
Well it's a good thing you don't play then, isn't it sweetheart? ☺️
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