Toronto is a commuter city. Ask someone to walk somewhere and risk being killed with a simple death stare, it doesn't matter how close by you think it is. Between taking the GO and riding the rocket there is a lot left up to the universe, like what time you'll arrive at work today.
Take solace in the fact that there are certain things you can be guaranteed on your commute. Whether or not they are welcome guarantees is another story, here are 19 things you can always count on happening, without fail, each and every day on your Toronto commute.
1. Someone will push by you to get on the subway first
The worst kind of human.
2. Someone will hold up the line
Could you not have counted out all of your dimes before you got in the line?
3. You'll think you forgot your wallet
Mild moment of sheer panic.
4. You'll see some form of silly headline
Did John Tory legit think Kanye was from Toronto?
5. Someone will step on your toes
Ouch, you mammoth.
6. You'll feel like a bag lady
There has to be a simpler way to bring your own lunch to work.
7. You'll say 'sorry'
Maybe you will be the one to step on someones toes. Oops.
8. You'll be forced to stand
9. You'll lightly jog
To catch a bus, the streetcar, your train....
10. You'll have to wait around
Because of course the subway is late.
11. You'll check your phone mindlessly
like 800 times.
12. You'll count the days until Friday
It's impossible that it is only Monday.
13. You'll see someone attractive but not have the energy to care
You haven't had enough coffee yet for this.
14. You'll spill something on yourself
For f*ck sakes.
15. You'll get stuck behind a slow walker
The good ol' awkward walk and weave.
16. You'll ponder life
What is the meaning of it all?
17. You'll be pissed about the amount of money you just spent on commuting
Why is there not a universal card that I can use on the GO and on the TTC? it's not rocket science.
18. You'll consider quitting your job and running away so you never have to commute again
There is no way you can do this again tomorrow, let alone 4 more times this week.
19. You'll arrive late
As per usual. End of story.