Photo cred - Adam Conolly
The zombie apocalypse is coming you guys. It's only a matter of time. I hope you all have picked out your weapon of choice, because when shit goes down, you're not going to have time to brainstorm about it. To help you out a bit, we've compiled a list of some of the best potential hide-outs in the city, so when our impending doom descends, you'll at least have that covered.
Under the sewers
There's a lot of them. You could easily live there for weeks without ever getting found. Plus, you get really easy access to any part of the city whenever you need supplies.
The Archer statue next to the AGO
Great place to stash beer/hide out while a crowd of zombies shuffles past.
At the top of the CN Tower
You're guaranteed a great vantage point over the city, plus, you've got plenty of time to take zombies out as they make their way up the stairs, and stairs don't really mix well with zombies.
Photo cred - Sooks416
Inside one of those moose statues
Again, if you're stuck, you can always find a way inside one of the billions of moose statues around the city. Hide out in there until the zombies pass.
Climb a tree at High Park
Enjoy the view while everyone else runs around in panic.
This place is crawling with exits and entryways. There's no way you'd ever get trapped inside.
Among the hoards
Most Torontonians have a pretty great zombie impression on hand. All you have to do is imitate yourself at 8:30 in the morning on the subway on your way to work.
The intense smell of fish will overwhelm your scent. Hide among the stacks of fish carcasses and the zombies will never know you're there.
Photo cred - Onasill ~ Bill Badzo
My mom's condo
This one's just a note for me, sorry guys. My mom's condo is super out of the way, and pretty high up. Ain't no way a zombie's getting in there. Plus, all the free laundry I want!
Construction sites near the water
You know, where they're building all those apartment complexes? There's plenty of materials you could use to knock zombies away if they get too close. Besides, I'm pretty sure zombies can't climb.
Hijack a ferry
When in doubt, just take one out into the middle of the lake, and wait the apocalypse out.
On top of one of the buildings at Dundas Square
Any of those tall ass buildings around Dundas Square would be great places to hide out and wait the carnage out. Plus, you get such a pretty view of the skyline!
This military base is just a little ways away, and I bet they're stocked to the teeth with zombie survival gear. I know military bases are like, always the first to go in zombie movies, but that's movieland. This is real life. You want to be where the big guns are.
Photo cred - Special Collections Toronto
Let's face it. Your local library branch probably has three people in it right now. Go take a nap among the books, because no one's coming for you there.
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Tons of access to food, and you're pretty safe, as long as you have rope for a quick getaway when necessary. Careful when you go into the building though, grocery stores are notoriously easy places to get killed at in zombie movies.
Photo cred - dekard72
A 24 Hour Gym
There's approximately 8 million of them in this city. Run inside when necessary and you're bound to find some heavy equipment you can use take some motherfuckers out. Never forget: it's gotta be a headshot.
Etobicoke or North York Fire Station
Find a fire station in one of the quieter parts of the city, like Etobicoke or North York. Fire stations are great because you can just slide down a pole and take zombies out whenever they enter the building. Plus, those firemen's suits are fireproof, so they must be zombie-proof too.
Wait till one is closed, which shouldn't take long because they're usually closed, and hide out there. If worst comes to worst, you can just get blasted until you don't really give a shit if a zombie eats you.
Photo cred - Sean Maximillian-Thomas
Old Folk's Home
Plenty of space and food, they're usually tucked away further from downtown. Plus, I doubt it would be too hard to outrun zombies with hip replacements.
Real talk though, your best bet is to get out of the city. Go take over a cottage up north and do some swimming. You deserve it for getting out of that zombie apocalypse alive.