First year residences are spaces filled with nothing short of a surplus of hormones, bad lighting, cheap beer, and textbooks that may or may not be opened; welcome to first year! To all that have been through the charming experience of residence you can relate to the weird feeling of trying to become best friends with 30 plus people who’ve been hand selected (by a computer) to live next to you. And you all know that no one has the same experience in residence, but the forced closeness seems to ensure that some things in residence are almost bound to happen. From the awkward sans bra run ins in the co-ed bathroom at three am, to TMZ gossip level floorcest (ie. hooking up with your next door neighbour), there’s experience that will happen. And the people who make it happen? The people on your floor, duh.
The people on your floor obviously include the fearless duos who take on all these compressed hormones, the roommates. The two who take on living in close quarters to the next extreme. Memories, alcohol, clothes, body odours? All together within a 2 metre radius? How exciting! These strange conditions produce some duos that you will definitely meet (or you probably were them) and be happy that you did.
1. The “they may as well be related” BFFs
They’ve been friends since birth. Most likely they’re in the same program or some similar field, and also have pictures from every monumental event (that they obviously went to together) hung up all around their room. It’s rare to catch the two of them apart. Going out they’re the dream team- colour coordinated outfits and they often end the night talking about that hilarious time Billy/Bobby/Joe did that hilarious thing in high school. Oh, and they definitely, DEFINITELY have a song (possibly a dance if this friendship included a talent show or two in the past).
2. The Frat/Prep Boys
These guys were the reason behind the movie Blue Mountain State. The evidence? Their room is filled with posters ranging from Sports Illustrated, School Boy Q, and Taylor Swift. They’re former prep school upbringing means there closets are stocked with polos and Sperrys, and they probably have a soda stream somewhere in the corner next to their bulk pack of Gatorade for the morning after. Their room is always party central, the pre’s that turn into afters, which means they often suffer from No doubt they have stacked their beds on top of each other to make room for more activities (and yes, this really happened).
3. DIY Royalty
These guys don't even need to go to university because everyone knows that they'll already have a future as co-hosts on some home decor show. The second they found out room measurements their hot glue guns were plugged in and their Pinterest board (that had been started years ago) was finally ready to put put to work. Matching duvet covers? Do you even have to ask? From hand made schedules, an abundance of bright complimentary colours and seemingly unnecessary things (like a bedazzled shower caddy), the only thing for you to do is admire (and wonder how they have their shit together).
4. The Newfound Besties
Basically this is the duo that keeps the magic of eharmony just realistic enough to convince people that they can in fact find their soul mate through a machine. Quite romantic actually, two people far away both click a box that says “night owl” and boom- you have a new best friend. The bonding is lightning speed with these two, they find just about any topic to agree on, “you like warm colours?! ME TOO”, “you love to breath?! WE HAVE SO MUCH IN COMMON!” It’s the fuzzy gray area between knowing you will have to live with this person for the next year and the hope of finding a best friend that keeps these two together, that and the possibility of a bomb insta bragging about their long lost soul mate.
5. The Stars Of Project X
First thing you’ll find in this duos cave? The trophy shelf…..of beer. From day one it’s been rally and go with these two nonstop partiers. Loaded up with Gatorade, chase and some speakers more expensive then all their textbooks combined, good luck getting any sleep if you’re beside these two. You’ll usually find them getting ready to go out when you come back, and it seems like every hour is happy hour around them. They thrive off brunch and red bull and in small doses, can make your university experience unreal. Be wary around exam season, these guys are the ones that have no limit and don’t be surprised if you find their room empty half year around cause of noise complaints.
6. The inspiration for Katy Perry's Hot and Cold (aka I’m going to pretend you’re not here)
“Wait, you have a roommate?” You’ll probably find yourself asking that some point in the year considering they never actually talk about the fact they share their space with another human. You got a couple options with this pair. 1) The bad turn out of a “they may as well be related” roomies. Ya they we’re always best friends, until they had to actually spend every second together. 2) The random assignment gone wrong, also known as- the computer fucked up. It was no ones fault, these two just weren’t meant to be. You put a night owl with an early bird, a fun flirty single gal with an obsessive girlfriend type and suddenly every argument turns into a moral conflict over he way they should live. Rarely together, this is usually only fixed by some high tolerance or a roomie switch.
7. Straight out of Switzerland
They’re room is a neutral zone that’s filled with vibes of peace and love from the 60’s. From day one the stereotypical layout was filled with democracy and every decision always ended in a “does this seem fair?” statement. They’re not necessarily life long BFFs, but at the end of the day they got each others back. Whether it’s helping each other study to leaving a good luck note on their desk before exams, this is the Switzerland of roommates situations and these guys have got it going on.
8. The "Used To Be Mutual Friends Only" Turned Best Friends
"You're going to this school, and I think we used to play soccer together, and from what I remember you're not annoying AF- want to be roommates?" This is how some of the most beautiful (tear!) friendships have started. They know enough about each other's lives that they can have something other than the weather to talk about, but they don't know too much for things to get boring. Everyday they find out something new about each other and you're almost gaurenteed to hear the phrase, "why weren't we friends before?!" at least once during the year.
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