Living in Toronto can be hectic. The hustle and bustle of the city can be overwhelming and if you’re new to the city and still getting your bearings, there will be plenty of times you end up embarrassing yourself. Even if you have been living in the city your entire life, you still are likely to make mistakes that will make you go red in the face.
1. DO make a reservation at whatever chic King St West restaurant you've decided to take your date to.
It doesn't matter if it's a Tuesday, MAKE A RESERVATION. There is nothing worse than being stoked to eat Buca's unreal duck-egg pasta, only to find out they are totally full. Then you or your date has to make the awkward decision of whether or not you'll wait 40 minutes to be seated, while a none-too-impressed hostess stares at you as you hold up the line. You will then spend far too long wandering around figuring out where you want to go instead, before settling on some place not even half as impressive. If your date doesn't call back, it's because you didn't make a reservation. You've been warned.
2. DON’T cut the line at Gracie’s.
Or any bar for that matter. It's not polite and you WILL get called out for it by everyone else in line. Even worse, you will get dragged out of said line by a very muscular bouncer. Similar to elephants, a bouncer never forgets.
3. DO use the TTC.
Don't embarrass yourself by being late to a meeting because your UBER got stuck in gridlock traffic (which then ends with you hobbling down the street in heels because, at that point, walking is faster, true story fam). Learn to use the TTC to your advantage .
4. DON'T be an asshole on the TTC.
If you do decide that you'll give public transit a go, please learn the proper TTC etiquette. To avoid having everyone around you give you dirty looks, or even worse call you out loudly about your faux pas, please read the following: taking up two spots, blocking the doors, not letting people get off before you get on, standing on the wrong side of the escalator (stand to the right, walk to the left), reading over my shoulder while I text, honestly the list goes on...
5. DO figure out the new Union Station.
I'd tell you how to do it but I've yet to learn. That place is a zoo. You will find yourself embarrassed on the daily while running around dodging other commuters trying to find where the FUCK you are going.
6. DO be up to date on the Blue Jays.
Just don't ask anyone if they're winning because you WILL be met with looks of disdain. And especially don't ask who their new player is (David Price, you're welcome).
7. DON'T talk shit about Drake.
Remember Meek Mill? Ya, neither do we.
8. DO follow @normkelly on twitter.
Oh Norm, what a guy. If you don't know who he is yet, well that's pretty embarrassing. Norm Kelly is Toronto's city councillor who's claim to fame was backing up Drake during his
battle of the century rap beef with Meek. His twitter is filled with non-stop hilarity that needs to be followed.
9. DON'T say street meat isn’t that good.
Torontonians love their wieners, so don't blow off this sidewalk delicacy.
10. DO say you love your city.
The number one thing you can do to embarrass yourself in Toronto is hate on the city we call home. Sure it's not perfect, but who is? Complain about the TTC, the tourists, or the Leafs all you want, BUT LEAVE TORONTO ALONE **Chris Crocker voice**. Constantly making the list of best places to live in the world, Tdot has lots to be proud of and anyone who says otherwise will not be taken to kindly.