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99 Problems With Toronto

What's your problem?

Photo cred - Amarpreet K

A$ap Rocky liked bad bitches, that was his fucking problem. And just like A$ap, Toronto's got some fucking problems too, actually 99 of them.

From the TTC, obnoxious blue jay fans, bad sushi joints, to pretentious restaurant owners Toronto has some issues to say the least.

Okay Toronto, let's vent. 

1. It's too hot

2. It's too cold

3. There's too much construction

4. People who complain about weather

5. People who complain about people who complain about weather

6. Taking a cab in rush hour

7. Taking a streetcar in rush hour

8. Our hockey team never wins

9. Hipsters...are a problem

10. Blogs like this one: spelling mistakes, grammatical errors & misinformation. Should result in capitol punishment

11. The horrible stench of garbage on garbage day (especially in the heat)

12. The stench of Chinatown always

13. Streetcars that are short turning BIG PROBLEM

14. This question in winter: to cab or streetcar?

15. Transfer that only work one way

16. Expensive as fuck monthly metro pass

17. The homeless people who accost you for change on queen street outside CAMH

18. Pretentious asshole servers at hipster restaurants

19. Our city is surrounded by beautiful places like Scarborough and North York...

20. Too much poutine

21. Bike lanes, expand/improve ‘em or nix ‘em!

22. Bars close at 2am

23. Restaurants that only take cash, motherfuckers

24. High Park is too far away

25. The lake water is dirty

26. Our street food scene

27. Too many restaurants, not enough time

28. The smell of weed in kensington market

29. The smell of body odour and cheese and fish in kensington market

30. We don't have a casino

31. There are way too many pointless festivals that interrupt traffic and transit routes (Nuit Blanche, Buskerfest to name a few)

32. Condos with views of other condos

33.  Strollers on streetcars

34. Too obsessed with food trends, brussels sprouts will always be brussels sprouts no matter how fucking fancy they are

35. Cab drivers who get irritated when you tell them you're paying with debit

36. People who paint their face blue in support of the blue jays

37. The price of beer at the blue jays game

38. Liquor stores aren't open late enough

40. Too many people dress the same

41. Ladies more excited about late night food than sex

42. 905ers puke on our streets on the weekend

43. The distillery district is far too expensive

44. Parking downtown

45. Too many hot yoga studios

46. There are no palm trees

47. Everyone has a blog and thinks there voice matters

48. Everyone is a food critic

49. Too many slow walkers on yonge street

50. Everyone is far too opinionated

51. People are to uptight, so what if I don't want to wear shoes or a top

52. Too many grammar nazis, chill people, go have some sex or something

53. The ROM is anti-climatic

54. The AGO is anti-climatic

55. The Bata Shoe Museum is anti-climatic

56. People aren't brutally honest

57. $5 sunglasses from kensington market that break when you look at them

58. Juice bars are too expensive

59. Baristas don't move fast enough

60. Driving thru the intersection at yonge and dundas

61. Taking a GO bus outside of the city and having to stand in the aisle

62. The smell of stale beer at bathurst and queen

63. Restaurants that don't take reservations

65. So many bars, so much money lost

66. Getting a cab in the rain

67. Taxes?!

68. Car horns, they must be silenced

69. Our subway stops running way too early

70. The all night yonge bus

71. Trying to walk thru the Eaton Centre

72. Going to the Eaton Centre to buy one specific thing

73. Trying to find someone who can ACTUALLY help you at the apple store

74. Waiting for buses that don't show up in the middle of the night

75. Experiencing the shitty food at the CN tower

76. Annoying students near Ryerson campus

77. Too many people wearing plaid

78. Too many cockroach infestations

79. Not being able to grow a hipster beard

80. Not being able to afford tattoos

81. Having to long of a walk between your apartment and the nearest grocery store

82. Living near a grocery store that isn't 24 hours

83. Having to find roommates on craiglists in order to get cheaper rent

84. Way too many events happening, how does one keep up?

85. You can't drink in the streets

86. You can't drink in parks

87. You can't be naked in public

88. Listening to people complain about traffic

89. It's not LA

90. We can't picnic on Toronto Island all year round

91. We are lacking in Tapas style restaurants...just kidding

92. We look up to people who smoke crack

93. We are too forgiving

94. We are too nice

95. There is a lack of pawn shops

96. It's too cold in the winter to enjoy the outdoor market at the distillery

97. Our pizza isn't very good

98. We don't have nut vendors on the street like New York

99. Your beer order is being judged

Looking for more? Click here for 10 Fun Fall Road Trips Close To Toronto >

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