The Pale Person's Guide to Avoiding the Summer Sunlight in Toronto

For some, the summer means a chance to lounge in parks and patios, reclined on a beach chair with the warm breeze brushing their face. For others, it just doesn't work out that way. For us pale people, our translucent skin becomes a walking sunburn target for months on end.
The problem? The Sun paired with pale skin of course. It hovers overhead, blasting everything in its path with fire and dryness. It makes you sweat and breathe heavily, but mostly it radiates the dreaded and unavoidable pain we will feel from the multiple sunburns taking over our body.
So what can we do? Toronto is a beautiful place during the summer, and after the long, long winter you want to enjoy the weather as much as possible. But how can you do that living in constant fear of "the burn"? Well, luckily for you, we have the answer in this handy guide.
https://www.flickr.com/photos/57340921@N03/17321646846/in/photolist-soDY8y-fmAaA2-m4Uhnn-5ssPbp-nNThRF-Kupe4-7JCDix-4h4Cu-2AiyL-2iDpkW-aVvjge-2C2kCD-5UHWQC-anxdPw-c1hJuG-7rcAJ9-Jh3Jq-aAqxsr-5GHaDi-3Ax4Bh-7Tme5M-85yNdS-cPxv3-7smh29-cfr2Ms-8AHmkn-5Esau5-3aCLJy-4WXkjP-fcYN29-dGAWQE-8dkAde-8gkEBb-5eFyqv-fhyky-LWPCS-9xbLct-c8tw75-bXeRyc-grfXN-annbjb-9G8re9-6LkLfU-JExEz-39kDuy-6SzgUt-ec7xvi-bDx37r-dKKJa5-7XYqQw
Photo cred - Mary Crandall
1. Find Shade
Covered patios, covered markets (like Saint Lawrence, NOT Kensington), and indoor swimming pools are going to be your new best friends. Anywhere else is going to require you to cover your body in SPF 3000.
2. Try To Get Large Hats Back in Fashion
Audrey Hepburn's cover-all in Breakfast at Tiffany's, oversized sombreros, those umbrella hats that children wear are all good options for Sun blocking purposes. They may be ugly, but you could try to pull it off as a new "avant garde" trend.
3. Wait For Sundown
Once you find shelter, it's imperative to stay there. Play cards, watch a movie, watch the grass grow, count your toes, count them again, come up with an idea for a sitcom, cast the sitcom, anything at all. Just don't leave the damned shade until the Sun is down and you are safe from its wrath.
4. Wear Sunscreen
Duh.
https://www.flickr.com/photos/sharynmorrow/424545395/in/photolist-DvUyc-5XvySk-88r6CQ-77QxhN-5WkZeN-4mTQeh-8CNXis-d4U9nC-3biuJ3-824T2D-dMACfg-d4U57S-bQvB7i-9xT4Hu-6hKNUr-4BATUY-6LSg5D-67J5wW-4BwA38-5XvyWc-66fax1-b5xbmZ-b5wMUv-b5xfWt-b5wU8V-b5wNRZ-b5x5gp-djiBgM-djiyYS-djiyud-djiAuk-djiyKq-djiyRQ-djiB3V-djiBbe-djiz7L-b5wBiB-b5wr1e-b5wmM4-b5wFui-b5wyjK-7Pg9J4-6qm6nh-66b7YV-fhs5tm-ai4XdJ-dwgihL-67DW9D-67J6PN-67DSdt
Photo cred - Sharyn Morrow
5. Go Where the Irish People Go
The Irish are among our pale-skinned friends. They feel the Sun more than anyone. So stick with them, they'll take you somewhere shady and cool.
https://www.flickr.com/photos/christopherbaan/2189405167/in/photolist-4ktgSX-5jcDGf-5jcDJQ-gmTLyo-5jcA2C-9NDvLH-cAHPbE-a6ACsP-iSmkeP-9NJybd-9NAsCc-9NGKrb-9NFVNX-9M2DZZ-9NEdXe-9Nz3As-cxxraA-9zL3Mf-4g9HvH-9NEtYQ-32h3P5-6WDM9E-dKg4hF-dRZ1vr-dkpkpx-7Tx3yN-7oU666-5jcTnN-db8wKN-9NKJWL-5YK9qJ-5jcTnj-6WDM6d-9NGabs-69nTP-3UN759-5z5u5-9NAw5D-9NDUEY-9NJKMw-c7iLhA-5j8j22-5nQqZk-9NyTno-5jcDEQ-5jcDTS-d3WJQh-5j8Bta-5j8tXP-5j8u8t
Photo cred - lorenzaccio*
6. Don't Forget Travel Time
You have to account for how much time it will take to get from one shady place to another. Be sure to plan ahead. Don't trust Google.
https://www.flickr.com/photos/maxually/537551450/in/photolist-Pv6js-ayf2M-3tA1p-89pX2s-9FQSty-qF2SSz-qoMgcr-qFcteg-pJqKBZ-qYhwC8-dZqgq-9J2hkV-kwZkVZ-Kp5p7-6KYFrU-6EoJnU-6g2LQm-523jvM-4Yumxv-MQ2qj-JkrBu-Gqhd5-FJhZT-k3Rok-h6gYE-dWT5R-7TvtS-4GXmje-f8grdS-jigZXo-88qP3G-iY6YZU-37Unx-4rMqL7-84KnsB-eG1ohn-5eC2XQ-5uu4jE-cXTGqE-a6ed3J-a6bmGi-a6ecWA-a6bmzM-a6ecKC-813JXy-diGMg9-66bNkC-qoDknQ-7QsBfA-nb9aVA
Photo cred - maxually
7. Don't Try To Even-Out A Sunburn
If you do take a hit, and come up with one arm looking red don't try to burn the other side for the sake of symmetry. Asymmetrical body burn is bad, but a complete body burn is... 'bad-er.
SAFE ZONES
[embed]https://www.flickr.com/photos/mmmmay/4547215148/in/photolist-7VPEDb-7VL4bt-7VPAk7-7VLcSr-7VPB9h-7VPkjw-7VPE5b-7VPEvj-7VPjjf-7VPj7o-7VL52a-7VPizE-7VPkvs-7VL9zx-7VL3TP-7VPhWm-7VPy1s-7VLazH-7VPkAm-7VLeAB-7VPjJG-7VPzKw-7VPiWj-7VLjDx-7VL5NB-7VPBZs-7VL3re-7VL4eZ-7VLpC4-7VLnHk-7VPCTQ-7VLJrt-7VL3vT-7VPEKb-7VPEoN-7VPtHY-7VLfQR-7VL68a-7VPtbw-7VL3EF-7VPwpE-7VPkcm-7VPjV3-7VLq1p-7VPk69-7VL5ok-7VL3MK-7VL3fk-7VL8rB-7VPjqY[/embed]Photo cred -mmmmay lee
1. Sakura Hanami in High Park
2. The South-East Corner of The Pauper's Rooftop Patio
https://www.flickr.com/photos/ehsank/14530183863/in/photolist-o8YZrr-dDj1kr-o41Ybi-nYKNV6-dfQKVY-qPgrk5-fMykGC
Photo cred - Ehsan Khakbaz H.
3. Cafe Pamenar
https://www.flickr.com/photos/wvs/3621719578/in/photolist-6w3g41-qVSh3o-oUNc6N-nhq7f3-bEBXhS-qsF4NZ-qoJgux-axmqNe-rwmpYB-a4MdRp-nPF1S5-nWDWzE-fTj5y1-arzea3-p7L9Na-rdWw6A-pwzfLA-9BK5tz-rnarkm-9YaxGu-9TTfFQ-9kQPso-8NEgGk-eUk21E-7r3NSc-a1RmQH-a1Ro42-a1UgeA-a1RnDT-a1Roov-a1Uf7E-a1Ugp1-a1Rnep-a1UfVh-a1UfvA-a1Rn2t-a1Uek5-9dS5xa-8GMWf1-9QJksS-n8F3k7-8zwtuJ-8Prti4-nM8Lhr-dVaASR-7xk1ya-oLhYyN-oQLjGp-o1ST3h-nASsPv
Photo cred - Sam Javanrouh
4. Allen Lambert Galleria
https://www.flickr.com/photos/ketmonkey/9763473113/in/photolist-4QEaLZ-4QJmT9-4QEanx-4QEa4v-4QEbua-4QJkjd-4QJn9W-4QEaxv-4QEbmT-4QJmd7-4QEasa-4QEbQB-4QE9yP-4QEbZD-4QJnu1-4QJnKs-4QEa8e-4QJmYo-4QEb5v-4QJk7N-4QEaW4-4QJjZJ-4QJkK9-4QEae4-7wrfYV-7wrg4Z-7wv59U-cav7gj-8Bv2hi-8Bv2cc-8By8Hw-8By9J5-8By8rG-8Bv1Yi-8By8dU-fSKUkD-fSLmpk-fSJQgq-bKjbX-29Hhmk-86Dn7Q-cmKsMJ-8VXWn6-8DvTU6-26k5VN-dzvFZ-2sWB9-chiW2u-4wiwRA-iSwxK2
Photo cred - Jamie Moore
5. Steam Whistle Brewery
DANGER ZONES
1. Riverdale Park
2. Rogers Centre
https://www.flickr.com/photos/jnicholl81/494287909/in/photolist-KFmzk-c221iY-fJSpAi-8pRss9-fK9YJN-6BEgNe-detnTh-d7F8md-9VPPhn-9VPQYV-9VPQep-9VPNqD-9VPMC2-7UAdEq-4uesp6-6ZeCWW-oX8Ay-26DC8w-aqNLqL-b6vyXD-9Hef7T-p6Nmy-kvZZM-mF593f-2ApF3q-4BHfWU-9RQzRn-4HEZcx-5PkdZ2-2TPuhz-5gHLCG-5gf5Yv-5gChmQ-dycfzd-dcsheY-5gsAad-5iyyWN-5gfhS4-5gKZvA-5gFzen-5gH7Sf-2riRXi-hHEMZu-7P8wdP-dzFEcp-5gHLAA-NPbYR-4UVWpK-d7FcyA-2HZwYz
Photo cred - Joe Nicholl
3. Queen's Quay
If All Else Fails, Hide in the Shadow of The CN Tower
Keep Safe.
Keep Covered.
Moisturize.