IT'S PARTY O'CLOCK and this is gonna be *THE* night, this is gonna be *YOUR* night. The night your eyeliner endures, the night the Tinder gods bless you with a Hemsworth bro look alike, the night you tell your future holographic grandchildren about. Phone fully charged, boob taped like a Fedex package, fleek flag flying high ....and the too real hope that somehow this night will turn out differently from others, you turn on the party playlist to get things started

[embed width="123" height="456"][/embed]


1. Finch Station

[embed width="123" height="456"][/embed]

Track: G.O.O.D Friday-Kanye West ft. Big Sean, Kid Cudi and Charlie Wilson

Destination: Getting Ready To Go Out

Finch Station before midnight is lively, clean and pretty respectable--much like yourself before midnight. Your night begins so full of hope and promise, much like your academic career in September. Your excitement is as full as your glass. This is gonna be a good night, and you take the 'likes' on your #nightout #ootn Insta photos as a good sign of tonight's guaranteed success.


2. Bathurst Station

[embed width="123" height="456"][/embed]

Track: Sunset Models-ODESZA

Destination: The Pre-Drink House Party

Bathurst is a major artery on the TTC line that brings together every people also smells like fresh bread. Much like the pre-drinking house party crowd, it is chaotic, surreal and loose--featuring the dude cooking french toast in the aloha shirt, ms. ombre free spirit floppy hat with gluten-free man bun beardscape and the thirstiest guy ever putting out a mixtape. ODEZSA captures all the random party vibes.

Other Song Recommendations: Only Getting Younger-Elliphant, Take U There-Jack U feat. Kiesza


3. King Station

[embed width="123" height="456"][/embed]

Track: Suit & Tie-Justin Timberlake feat. Jay-Z

Destination: The Club Dance Floor

Suits, or (soulless) finance bros emerge out of every corner of King Street to party. Suits in ties, in white collars suit guys with their superhero jawlines sideline the dance floor like vultures. Meanwhile your alcohol drenched brain knows this is the perfect time to call up old 'friends' and make new 'friends' on the dance floor because you are the friendliest even if your dance partners are shady as fuck.

Other Song Recommendations: Can't Feel My Face-The Weeknd, Loud Places-Jamie XX


4. ??????

[embed width="123" height="456"][/embed]

Track: Where Are U Now-Justin Beiber

Destination: Late Late Night Drinks

This is the messiest part the night. Nobody knows where anybody is at this point in the night and that dumpster is beginning to look like a very cozy place to sleep in. Trying to regroup with ANYBODY is impossible. Also neck tattoos, mumble people and wobbly hipsters take over the streets subways after hours. Maybe this would be a good time to dump your body in an Uber. Maybe.

Other Song Recommendations: Ignition (Remix)-R. Kelly


5. Spadina Station

[embed width="123" height="456"][/embed]

Track: Drunk In Love

Destination: Late Night Food

THE ANTHEM. Everybody and their moms join in when this song comes on. This WILL be the song you WILL sing your face off to while sloppy drunk in the backseat of a cab. This song is dedicated to those of us drunk in love ...with food.

Other Song Recommendations: This Must Be The Place-Talking Heads, We Can't Stop-Miley Cyrus


6. College Station

Track: Where is My Mind-The Pixies

Destination: The Hungover Breakfast

Congrats, you're somehow walking AND talking after the previous night. Good luck piecing together everything from last night and putting on something resembling your face today, and have fun scrolling through all the texts from last night. You legit feel like a sewer orc that crawled its way out of Satan's fiery anus *win*. Find somewhere to lay low and do your best vampire impression and listen to this song from fight club, you earned it.

Other Song Recommendations: Say it Ain't So-Weezer, What’s The Use Of Getting Sober (When You’re Gonna Get Drunk Again?)-Louis Jordan, My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink and I Don't Love Jesus - Jimmy Buffett