So you've made the decision to move to Boston, the largest city in New England, and one of the oldest cities in the United States. Welcome...and good luck. No just kidding, you'll be fine - once you learn from a few inevitable mistakes, of course.
Bostonians have a pride in their city that surpasses most, which can make it a bit intimidating upon arrival. But don't worry, Boston is truly a friendly, welcoming city. It's incredible history and vibrant, blossoming culture, wouldn't be what it is today if it weren't for the multitude of transplants that now call Boston home.
To help the acclimation process along, I'll fill you in a few things that are bound to happen after moving to Boston. (They'll make sense to you in no time, just you wait.)
You finally truly understand what a Boston winter is.
And you will cry when you're expected to go into work with 6 inches of snow on the ground, and counting.
You'll get a parking ticket in Beacon Hill.
Because you'd so much rather pay the fine then walk the extra mile in the snow. #WorthIt
You loathe bikers when you're driving, and loathe drivers when you're biking. Particularly in Somerville.
Bikers are the worst; they're EVERYWHERE, so always keep your head on a swivel. Until you get on your bike; then you understand the true meaning of masshole drivers. Share the road people, share the road.
You will curse the Green line.
Boston's subway system, the T, is alright for the most part. Pretty simple and navigable...but that damn green line. Inconstant, always packed, slow, ugh. Avoid it if you can.
You will become a Pats fan.
Or at least grow a strong appreciation for Tom Brady.
You will catch yourself using the word "wicked."
The first time a, "We coooould go to that bar, but the lines get wicked long on Saturday," slips out, you'll look around stunned that that word somehow slipped out of your mouth. But then you'll do it again. And again.
You'll 'gram a pic of the Charles.
The river was made for Instagram I swear.
You will learn every word to the song, "Sweet Caroline."
And "Shipping Up To Boston." And "Love That Dirty Water." And "Don't Stop Believing."
You will wonder how it's possible to survive without happy hour.
I hate to break it to you but Happy Hour is banned in Boston. And yes, it sucks as much as it sounds.
You will get stuck in a rotary.
Or a roundabout for you out-of-towners. You will end up on the inner rim and wonder if you will ever escape the circle of hell. Best of luck.
You will go to Quincy Market/Faneuil Hall and vow never to return.
It's pretty much the city's best tourist trap. But check it out once, just because.
If you aren't Irish, you will be on St. Patrick's Day. And you'll probably go to Southie.
People of Irish descent from the largest single ethnic group in Boston, so it should come as no surprise that St. Patrick's Day is the biggest bar day of the year. Brace yourself.
You will become obsessed with Dunkin'.
It's literally on every corner. Heads up, if you order a regular coffee, it will come with cream and sugar...you must specify if you want it black.
You will have a cannoli preference.
Mike's, Modern, something a little more off the beaten track?
You will curse masshole drivers...until suddenly, you become one.
It's the only way to survive the streets of Boston. Be careful for the "Massachusetts left," as soon as the light turns green, it's go time.
You will furnish your apartment with Allston Christmas furniture.
Because free furniture is the best furniture.
You will use a snowbank as beer storage. (Especially if you're lucky enough to get another Boston winter of 2015.)
A.) Wintertime means stocking up on lots, and lots of booze. B.) Your fridge/freezer will probably get pretty full. C.) Snow works as the perfect solution.
You will pronounce just about every city in MA wrong...and quickly be corrected.
Give it a go: Worcester, Gloucester, Peabody, Woburn.
You will wear flip flops and shorts in 50 degree weather. But the townies will be out there in 40 degrees.
Because that first "warm" day after a Boston winter feels like the tropics.