Vancouverites chill with the best of them, but just because we are so laid-back it doesn't mean we don't have standards. In fact, it really takes a lot of practice to be this cool.
While a few of these things seem completely obvious to some of you, if you wanna sit with us, here is a little advice.
1. Walk under the awning while also holding an umbrella.
This just makes you a complete dick.
2. Take your shoes off and walk on Granville street after a night out at the clubs.
So nasty, don't you girls know what kinds of nasty things happen on that street. If you can't handle the shoes, don't wear them.
3. Take a picture with the Steamclock.
I shouldn't even have to tell you this.
2. Buy coffee from a coffee chain.
There are local coffee shops everywhere, so chose your favorite and make it a regular place. I can promise your barista will call you by name instead of butchering it on your coffee cup.
3. Wear Uggs.
I don't want to have to explain this but I will... It snows ONE day a year here, if we are lucky! It never gets cold enough for $300 sheep's wool boots, and when it rains, your feet are going to be soaked. I can't imagine how nasty those things smell.
4. Brag about being from Toronto.
We don't care, you obviously moved here for a reason.
5. Tell people you're a vegan
So is everyone.
6. Insist that you know the owner of the club so you shouldn't have to wait in line.
If you actually did, you would already be inside.
7. Be a Calgary Flames fan.
8. Stand on the escalator on the Skytrain.
There are 100 people trying to get on that thing, don't be that asshole who stands with their suitcase blocking every one.
9. Drink anything but local beer.
Why would you ever drink an import when the best beer in Canada is brewed in East Van?
10. Stand out of line for the bus.
Vancouverites have some of the best transit etiquette I have ever seen. Every one lines up for the bus. So should you.
11. Get on the Skytrain before people get off.
Bro, its a big train. We're all getting on eventually.
12. Wear jeans with white stitching.
Please go back to Alberta or sell all of your True Religions, like now.
13. Wear yoga pants to the club.
I don't care how expensive your Nike yoga pants and matching sports bra were, this is not appropriate club attire. Go home and change now.
14. Say that you participated in the 2011 riots.
Not something to be proud of.
15. Litter in parks
We take our parks and beaches pretty seriously out here. In the summer thats where we spend all of our time so we like to keep them clean.
16. Follow the rules.
Vancouverites are rebels, and we like to live dangerously. Okay not really, but some rules here are definitely made to be broken...
17. Care what other people think.
Vancouverites don't feel the need to be conventional. We wear shorts in the winter and toques in the summer but we don't care!
18. Buy a house.
Unless of course you're a millionaire. In which case, can we be friends?
19. Ride your bike the wrong way on the seawall.
Its basically like driving on the wrong side of the road. Not cool.
20. Ride your bike on the sidewalk.
Same deal as #19. Vancouverites are 50/50 on the bike lane idea, so they can get pretty pissed off if you ride on the sidewalk
21. Walk in the bike path on the seawall.
Angry cyclists are kinda scary and will not hesitate to tell you when you need to get the f*ck out of the way.
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