We all want to love transit.Who wouldn't want to? What if we lived in a city where the bus was always on time? When will we be able to trust that our train won't break down? Where does all the funding go? Why don't we Uber yet?
As you sit there, staring blankly out of the bus window, getting that small amount of satisfaction when the person you see running for the bus narrowly misses it, you can't help but think "does everyone else think like I do?".
Well bro, maybe we actually do. Don't lie, we know you get a kick out of it. Hell, we all do! People watching is the original #1 pass time on transit, besides looking at your phone of course. So prepare to get paranoid and have a little chuckle to yourself as you read through these thoughts everyone is having around you on Vancouver transit.
1. "Ugh where is this bus?! It's 20 minutes behind schedule and I'm going to be late!"
2. "What a surprise! The 250 is packed. Wait, WTF? Why is no one going to the back of the bus?"
3.*Gasp* "A seat! Sorry sir, you look old, but you just don't look that old."
4. "Did I just sit in someone's fart? Why is this seat so damn warm?"
5. *Sniff* "Yup. I just sat in someone's fart. Too late to get up now though."
6. "I should really get Car2Go or something, all the cool kids are doing it."
7. "How the hell am I supposed to get off this bus with all these people in my way? This is why I hate the 99 B-line."
8. "Oh man, is that cutie going to sit beside me? Do I smell? Do I look good?"
9. "She's just standing there. The bus is full and no one wants to set beside me. WHY?! WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?!"
10. "Man this guy won't stop picking his n0s...he ate it. He just ate his booger..."
11. "He's still going. He's just having a booger buffet over there. Well, at least he's not wiping it on the windows."
12. "Man that guy over there is so cool! Vaping on the bus is so bad-ass!" - Thought no one ever.
13. "Did that guy just crack a Pabst Blue Ribbon? I'm annoyed, yet a little jealous at the same time."
14. "Bitch, did you just sneeze on me?"
15. "Ah, of course the escalators at Commercial Drive have been taken apart for their weekly maintenance. I'll just walk. It's fine. It's not like I'm dead tired or anything right now."
16. "Wow this platform is packed. Wait... is that guy at the end of the platform throwing up?"
17. "Ah. Yup. Here come the transit police now. 'Another one bites the dust' "
18. "Oh, thank god. These teens are blasting music on the skytrain, that's exactly what I wanted after work. Not."
19. " 'Rain drop, drop top' Fvck, I'm kind of actually enjoying this."
20. "Ok. Remember, don't spend all your money at Celebs. Because if you do, you're going to have to night bus home."
21. "Geez, I hate transferring at Broadway. Get out of my way, hipster! I'm getting up the escalator first!"
22. "Good, I think that hipster just narrowly missed the train. That would've been an awkward ride if he made it."
23. "Of course the doors are going to open and close 5 times before the train starts moving. God, I hate Translink."
24. "Is that the cute girl from earlier? Damn, it is. She's going to think I'm following her, better go to a different cart at Main Street."
24. "Success! Awkward situation avoi...shit, the hipsters in here."
25. "Is that chick really clipping her nails on the train? I should call transit security on you for being so damn ratchet."
26. "WILL SOMEONE PLEASE SHUT THAT BABY UP!"
27. "Finally, I made it. And of course, Granville Station is packed. Why do I even go out on weekends knowing transit's going to be like this?"
28. "What? Exit fare? It's not my fault my transit took forever! I gotta pay to get on AND to get off? This is robbery."
29. *Looking into your own reflection on the night bus* "Look at you. You're a mess. You could have avoided this all together but you didn't, and now look where you are."
31. "Damn, that chick just puked all over her shoes. Gross. Oh No! Ew! The puke puddle is moving towards me!"
32. "I swear, there is no volume level loud enough to drown out this dude yelling at his friend beside me"
33. "Maybe if I just zone out and stare out the window this bus ride will go faster?"
34. *Grins* "Ha. That guy just barely missed the bus. Sucks to be him."