Sign in
Why Staying Single Through University Was The Best Decision I Ever Made

My little sister started her first year of university today. And as she got ready for this new chapter in her life, I couldn't help but think back on my own time in school. This September is my first year not going to school and in all honesty, it's a bit of a sad and weird feeling. I for one, always loved school, learning, socializing with my friends and favourite teachers. But I didn't necessarily love juggling them with part-time jobs, homework, extra curriculars, physical activity and of course - dating. 

Dating in university is no walk in the park, especially if you're living at home. When you're away from your parents, curfews and strict night-life bouncers, it can be a lot easier to find love (or at least a booty-call). Going to U of T, while an amazing learning experience, also really limited my independence and the ability to meet people and interact with them freely and casually.

As a Toronto native, I spent university living with my mom to save money on rent and got to enjoy pleasures unknown to residence like baths and home-made peanut butter cookies.  Inviting someone over to your dorm room to watch Game of Thrones? Totally chill. Suggesting someone makes the half-hour drive from North Toronto to Etobicoke? A bit more serious than I'd like. 

Living situation aside, I was juggling a lot more than I intended to when I started up uni. I was working 30 hours a week part time (yikes), trying to establish a good work out schedule and see my friends while keeping up a 3.5 GPA. Of course there were cute guys in my classes, but quite frankly I didn't have time. I somehow miraculously pulled off this routine by the year's end without passing out or having a serious nervous breakdown. 

As the years went by, I only got busier. Racking up more jobs, opportunities and friendships. By second or third year, I was managing my time better, but still couldn't manage to fit a guy into the equation. After a a full school week of running around like crazy, I desperately needed time to myself. Just to sit, eat a hot meal and watch Narcos or FRIENDS until I passed out. I'd end up talking to guys in the time I had off, like reading week, winter and summer break, only to let relationships fizzle and fade over the coming months. 

One of the most important things I learned in university was how to prioritize myself and my needs. I could really focus on listening to my body, telling myself it was okay to skip a work-out if my eyes were shutting after 3 hours of studying. I focused on listening to my mind, like writing down thoughts when I'm stressed or scheduling an appointment with an on campus councillor. Because I was alone, I was able to learn how to give myself everything, without depending on anyone else. I was a happy, functioning person without without relying on the support or reassurance of significant other. 

I really think that if I was with someone during university, I would of had a completely different experience. In my past relationships, I always tended to give my partner everything before myself, meaning I put myself second. A lot. Being single allowed me free reign on my decisions. I didn't have to worry about anyone else but me, my family or my friends. While I wouldn't have ran away from a relationship while in school, and there's certainly nothing wrong with being in one, it just wasn't the right time for me. And I totally see that now. 

Of course, there were times when I wanted a boyfriend when I was in school. Maybe not a boyfriend exactly, but someone to lean on when times were tough. I think being alone helped me become stronger and inevitably helped me become a person that other people could lean on instead. It also encouraged me to seek guidance, comfort and counselling from family, friends and professionals - especially when the mental and emotional stress from school really kicked in.

Just to reiterate, there is nothing wrong with having a boyfriend or girlfriend while you're going to school. I'm just glad I didn't. Not because I was hooking up with a different dude every night or swiping on Tinder until my fingerprints wore out, but because it gave me the opportunity to learn about myself in a way that I don't think would have been possible if I had been with someone. And now that I know myself so goddamn well, I can be in healthier, happier relationships than before. 

Dr. Christopher Hassell has paused his practice at York Medical, a clinic in Richmond Hill, for the "foreseeable future" after allegations of him giving out exemptions to COVID-19 mandates.

Tweets of the incident, which have since been deleted, show long lines wrapping around the building this past Saturday, with allegations of Dr. Christopher Hassell giving out exemptions for the mask mandate and possibly COVID-19 vaccines.

Keep Reading Show less

COVID-19 celebrations have been tricky during the pandemic and you may have missed a big birthday celebration or two.

According to a survey by OpenTable, 65% of "Ontarians missed celebrating milestones such as birthdays and anniversaries due to the COVID-19 pandemic," and 26% are planning a do-over celebration.

Keep Reading Show less

Oshawa PPC candidate Darryl Mackie got himself in some hot water Wednesday morning after refusing to show proof of vaccination or wear a mask at his local Tim Hortons.

Durham Regional Police told Narcity they received a call yesterday just before 10 a.m. regarding Mackie at an Oshawa Tim Hortons because he refused to wear a mask or show his vaccination status.

Keep Reading Show less

Narcity may receive a small commission if you purchase something we recommend in this article, which was created by the Narcity Shop team. Items are in stock and prices are confirmed at the time of publishing, but they can change at any time.

Sweater weather has finally arrived in Canada and I for one couldn't be happier. Along with stylish shackets and warm flannel sheets, we want to make sure you're as comfy as possible this fall. That's why we've put together this list of some of the softest and coziest sweaters the internet has to offer!

Keep Reading Show less