6 Types Of Guys You’ll Definitely Meet At Winnipeg Bars

Is it just me, or do we all have that one friend who managed to meet her near-perfect boyfriend at a nightclub or bar one drunken Saturday night? I'm not sure how, cause in Winnipeg it feels like me and my friends are constantly meeting—then immediately ditching—the same kinds of guys everywhere we go.
Whether it's District Stop, Cowboys, The Palomino Club, or 441 Main, chances are you'll run into these guys at any of the local watering holes.
Jeremy
Age: Freshly 18
Occupation: Year 1 student at the U of W
Hobbies: Reading his psychology textbook for fun, drinking "black coffee" with twelve sugars
Looking for: A girl to make out with for the next five minutes before his dad comes to pick him up
Connor
Age: 20-25
Occupation: Former Brandon Wheat Kings player, still busy reliving the glory days
Hobbies: Sharing memes in a group chat with his hockey buddies, watching SportsCentre in his parents' basement
Looking for: A girl that will wear his hockey hoodie and understand him when he says things like "plug" and "sick flow"
Devon
Age: 21-26
Occupation: Oil rig worker in Saskatchewan or Alberta
Hobbies: Coming back to Winnipeg every other weekend to buy rounds at 441 Main and spend all the mad $$$ he's been busy making
Looking for: Somebody to have Skype sex with while he's away at camp, a girl who likes obnoxiously big trucks
Nick
Age: 22
Occupation: U of M Asper student
Hobbies: Interning at his dad's actuarial firm, running for student council, playing intramural dodgeball
Looking for: A respectable girl (tattoos scare him), who exercises regularly and doesn't consume things like white bread or concentrated fruit juice.
Danton
Age: 27 (says he's 23)
Occupation: Club Promoter
Hobbies: Blowing up your Facebook feed and Instagram comments, blasting the latest DJ Snake remix
Looking for: A girl who will sleep until 2 p.m. with him, someone to help take his Instagram game to the next level
Larry
Age: 45-60
Occupation: Salesman at a countertops company
Hobbies: Lurking around Winnipeg bars, yelling at sporting events on TV
Looking for: Female company (preferably under thirty)