With the legalization of cannabis, each province and territory is now introducing their new government-regulated online retail shops. While one got off to a rough start earlier this week, it seems that legalization day is running smoothly for the country - so far, that is.
Naturally, the government couldn't launch their new online shops without introducing a few hilarious items to their inventory. Let us clarify - the products themselves aren't funny - the funny part is the fact that the government is actually giving these products their seal of approval.
There's just something so ridiculous about a simple pair of scissors being listed on local government websites selling cannabis right now. Especially with the added mini-chain that I'm assuming is supposed to make it look edgier?
The fact that Prime Minister Trudeau's initial pledge to legalize weed resulted in a government-approved "Showdown Bong" on British Columbia's cannabis store is only a little bit comical. What makes it even funnier is that the bong is actually sold out.
$12 "Storage Containers"
No more makeshift containers stuffed with paper towel for you! That is if you actually want to spend $12 plus shipping on a plastic cup.
Flavoured Rolling Papers
Wrapping papers definitely come in all kinds of flavours. But, considering how blasé the government has been about other aspects of cannabis being legalized, such as the promotion of the drug and packaging, it was definitely shocking that the government added rolling papers that actually have some personality to them.
Of course, we couldn't ignore the oh-so-special names of products that provincial governments have listed on their cannabis sites. A personal favourite is "Sensi Star," where it's described as having a "unique sweet and earthy smell."
If you thought "Sensi Star" would be the furthest the government would go with names, you'll be pleased to know the government does, in fact, sell a strain called "Kinky Kush." It's described as having a "strong, recognizably 'kush' aroma with earthy and fruity overtones." Sounds delicious.
Odd Pipe Name Choices
Apparently, Lord of the Rings is making an unofficial appearance in collaboration with British Columbia's cannabis store in the form of a "Gandalf Hand Pipe" in of all colours, radioactive blue.
Interesting pipe designs
Am I stroking out? Are you stroking out? Or are we both seeing a pipe listed as a "Fiesta Pipe" on an official government website? On other provincial websites such as Ontario's, the pipes and bongs are a lot tamer. They don't really deviate from a clear glass design with maybe one other colour incorporated. But, clearly, British Columbia just went balls to the wall with their design team.
Extra AF Storage Boxes
Over on the Ontario Cannabis Store's website, they're selling what can only be described as an empty Jumanji box for you to store your weed in. For some reason, every province decided that exposed wood was the one and only way to design anything weed related that isn't made out of glass.
$250 Vape Pens
Yes, we may have gotten cannabis legalized, but it came at the cost of our local governments basically giving every obnoxious vape god the green light to continue being the absolute worst. The only difference is now they will be armed with a $250 vape.
Yes, I am mentioning the packaging yet again because seriously... who designed this? I understand trying to make it unappealing to children, but who's idea was it to make a simple jar of cannabis look like a biohazardous substance that's going to blow up anything within a 5-mile radius if you drop it the wrong way?!
More from the Canadian Cannabis Legalization series:
- A Neighbourhood In Toronto Just Completely Banned Smoking Marijuana In Public
- We Bought 30 Grams Of Legal Weed Online In Ontario And We Learned Some Very Concerning Things
- The Toronto Neighbourhood With The Most Pot Smokers Was Just Revealed And It's Not At All Where You Thought It Would Be
- This Is What You Need To Know For Marijuana Use By Province In Canada After October 17th
- The Canadian Province With The Most Pot Smokers Was Just Revealed And It's Not At All Who You Thought It Would Be