If you've never been to Canada, I regret to inform you that a shocking amount of what you think you know about us is either wildly outdated, geographically confused, or based entirely on one guy from rural Alberta in a plaid jacket.
For reasons I cannot fully explain, people seem to imagine Canadians as flannel-clad forest/igloo dwellers who drink Timmies double-doubles every morning, say "eh" every six seconds, and chat with their neighbour, Gord, while they shovel snow 365 days a year.
Some stereotypes exist for a reason — a few of these do contain a grain of truth. But for the most part, I've never once met the aforementioned mythical "Canadian" so often referenced in my entire life. As an actual, regular, real-life Vancouver-born and bred Canadian, I'm here to clear a few things up.
We're all lumberjacks
I suppose the image is that we're all huge, bearded individuals living in cabins deep in the forest, wearing red plaid and Blundstones, with a felling axe resting by the front door. (For context, I had to Google "what axe do you use to chop wood," which I hope says more about how little Canadians know about lumberjack-ing than it does about my vocabulary).
In fact, if anything, my gorgeous single friends swiping through the trenches of Hinge wish there were these fabled lumberjacks here. There are not. Mostly, it's just men in quarter-zips who work in tech.
Pineapple on pizza is common
We need to set the record straight. One man in 1962 — Sam Panopoulos, a Greek immigrant in Ontario — decided to put canned pineapple on top of his pizza.
The idea, allegedly, was a sweet-and-savoury twist inspired by flavour combinations found in Chinese food. (A deeply misguided vision, I'll personally fight all the Facebook trolls on this point).
To add to the confusion, it's called "Hawaiian pizza" because it was named after the canned pineapple brand he used. Though if anyone wants to continue pawning this misstep off on Hawaiians, I personally wouldn't be mad.
We all get our coffee from Timmies
I don't know if you've been to Vancouver lately, but I would argue that people here spend more unnecessary money per capita on aesthetic coffee shops than we do at Tim Hortons.
Is Tim's still everywhere? Yes. Is it one of the last good coffee deals in the country? Also yes. But the idea that every Canadian starts their day with a double-double from Timmies is a little dated, especially in cities where people line up around the block for a $12 iced strawberry matcha latte.
We live in igloos. Amongst polar bears. In the middle of nowhere.
This sounds facetious until you're a Canadian in America and someone asks you this point-blank — a genuinely fascinating misunderstanding of climate and infrastructure.
For the record, no, we do not live in igloos. No, polar bears are not roaming suburban streets. (For further context, Vancouver has half-snowed once this year. If anything, we are dramatically underprepared for the weather). And lastly, no, living in Canada does not automatically mean you reside in a remote woodland clearing three hours from the nearest grocery store. A lot of us live in cities, pay offensive rent prices, and spend most of our time stuck in traffic like everyone else.
(Not to come for the Americans here, but while geography has never been my strongest subject, I do know that Los Angeles is not neighbouring New York, and Oregon in many ways is the antithesis of Florida).
Indoor shoe culture
This is a weird one, but I once met a European traveller who was genuinely shocked that we don't wear shoes indoors. Apparently, the logic stems from "American movies" where people wander into bedrooms, kitchens, and even onto couches with their shoes still on.
All of which is horrifying. I feel comfortable speaking on behalf of most Canadians when I say: absolutely not. This is deeply unhygienic, and the mere thought of it would quite literally send my mother into a coma. We have house slippers for a reason.
The "sorry" thing
As much as it pains me to admit, this is half true. If I'm at a bar in Toronto or Vancouver and a girl accidentally body-checks me hard enough to spill my drink, there's a 99.99% chance that she'll say sorry.
More aptly, there's also a 99.99% chance I'll say sorry. Even though I was the one who got hit. It's instinct. That said, I'm not convinced this applies evenly across demographics. My personal hunch is that the average middle-aged Canadian man is significantly more likely to crack on with a perfectly valid, "Hey, watch where you're going." All this to say, my thesis is that the Gen Z, millennial, and Gen X Canadian girls are keeping this stereotype alive.
We all speak French
I'd love to keep up appearances here because speaking two languages is incredibly chic, especially when one of them is French. Imagine strolling into Paris and casually rattling off a coffee-pastry order with nonchalant superiority? A dream. But alas, most friends I know can ask where the bathroom is, and that's roughly where our education peaked at 14 years old.
Outside of Quebec and certain bilingual communities, this one is very much not universally true.
"Eh," "oot," and "aboot"
Here's the thing: this stereotype exists for a reason. I went houseboating this past summer, and a bachelor party group from the outskirts of Calgary said "eh" and "bud" after roughly every other sentence.
So yes, those Canadians absolutely exist. However, by and large, this is not part of our daily vernacular. In fact, if any of my girlfriends ended a sentence with "eh," we’d all pause and wonder if she was having a stroke.
Maple syrup
This is something I consume maybe four times a year, usually on the rare occasion I order pancakes or waffles. The idea that Canadians are having maple syrup with every meal raises an important, more alarming question: What exactly do you think we're eating? There is not a single dinner I've had this past year that I've doused in maple syrup.
The one caveat is Montreal in winter, where maple syrup taffy on snow is basically mandatory. Though even then, I'd argue it's more a charming tourist ritual than an actual daily staple.
The opinions expressed in this article are the author's own and do not necessarily reflect the views of Narcity Media.
