I know what you're thinking: "What is Vancouver if not a place to watch whales?", to which I say: "Many things". And I know the best of them. That's because I grew up here. Which is more than most of you can say for yourselves.
So here's my list of things to see and do in Vancouver that are actually worth a go.
Bowen Island
If you're visiting Vancouver and only have time for one island hop, make it Bowen Island. It's always been my fave, and conveniently, it's one of the closest.
The ferry trip from Horseshoe Bay takes about 20 minutes, which makes it one of the best day trips from the city. You can also rent a boat from Granville Island and drive it yourself if you're bougie like that, but the walk-on ferry is honestly part of the charm.
Horseshoe Bay itself feels like a little slice of Maine dropped on the edge of Vancouver, and if you get there early, locals are disturbingly obsessed with the fish and chips at Troll's Restaurant by the terminal. However, if there's a bit of a line and you want a quick bite, Olive & Anchor are just as deep-fried and delicious.
Once on Bowen, the island is small enough to explore without a car, which is why this is one of the few places where I'd actually recommend doing the walk-on ferry/transit combo.
This scenic drive
You can't come to Vancouver without doing at least ONE scenic drive. In beautiful B.C., we're all about the journey and the destination. And because I'm the best, I'll give you two choices depending on your time and (patience).
For going the distance: I recommend a rip (yes, that's Vancouver slang for "drive") up to Squamish. It's not the full 9 yards to Whistler (that is a whole other thing), and from downtown Vancouver, it's about a one-hour drive to Squamish.
Once in Squamish, you can check out a lake or even hit The Chief hike (which, unless you're Canadian, I'd not recommend). "Hikes" mean a whole other thing here. It is not flat, guys. At one point, you will be scaling the side of a mountain. So if you're like me and you're not an adrenaline junkie and instead just a straight junk food junkie, hit a roadside diner on your way back.
You're in luck, though, because I have a handy guide to the easiest hikes around town.
For going the short-stance: A loop up to Whytecliff Park and back around will do the trick. Go up Marine Dr. and then loop around and take Highway 99 back. I know highways seem "ew" — but this is B.C., and we don't do highways like the other provinces, OK 💅. Just trust.
Go see a 70mm movie at Park Theatre
Whoever the curators at Park Theatre are, I hope you're reading this 'cause I want you to know you're dope. I just checked out your monthly features, and it's the perfect selection of cool new sh*t and cool old sh*t.
You have to have sushi just ONCE
I vouch for our sushi because let me tell you — the number of times an "I don't eat sushi" American friend has visited me, and Vancouver has changed their mind? You would not believe.
For Budget Sushi: Toshi's
Address: 181 E 16th Ave, Vancouver, BC
Why You Need To Go: If you want to dine where a perfect classic roll is under $7 bucks, Toshi's is your spot.
For Bougie Sushi: Tojo's
Price: 💸💸💸💸
Address: 1133 W Broadway, Vancouver, BC
Why You Need To Go: If you're doing your research, you'll see fine-dining sushi reccs like Miku and Sushi Hil pop up — all fabulous— but Tojo's has forever had my heart because Chef Tojo is simply the OG. And if you don't believe me, I'll say this: you know the California Roll? Yeah, of course you do. Well, he invented that. 'Nuff said.
Go thrifting in North Van
Or West Van.
Either will do. For this one terrible reason. And that reason is... there are lots of old people. And you know what happens to old people.
They don't live long.
And yet! They have so much stuff. And guess where it goes? The community dumping grounds. The only place that will take your busted VHS TV without an electrical cable and put a $7 price tag on it. A.K.A. the local thrift store.
At this time in history, I hope you can all just put two and two together, and Google "thrift store North Van". But my faith in society is not only dwindling but, in fact, nonexistent.
So here are a few faves: SPCA Thrift Store, Mount Seymour United, Urban Repurpose.
Pro Tip: If you can walk into a thrift store, look around, and think "omg there's so much cute stuff in here" — turn around and walk out. That place is curated (translation: expensive).
Hit the OG Cactus Club
While you're in North Van, feel free to hop over to the Original Cactus Club location (1598 Pemberton Ave, North Vancouver).
Cactus Club basically built this city. So, it's important to pay your respects. It's perfectly preserved (it has this wacky neon sign with curly letters that is giving Rainforest Cafe, but better).
Go feel things you haven't felt in years at The Orpheum
Here's where I redeem myself for my Timothée Chalamet hater attitude in the intro.
The Orpheum is a beautiful theatre and music venue that is reminiscent of another and straight-up better time. There's a lot of carpet, and it looks pretty clean, so you know they mean business.
The calendar is always changing, but I recommend you buy a ticket to something classical. I'm thinking piano. Put on a nice outfit. It's actually a really regal and elegant place, but you can still have some fun. Because even though it's extremely fancy on the surface, we know no one takes back a dirty martini (or 10) like those guys.
The Vancouver Orpheum
Museum of Anthropology
I know you think the YVR is the totem pole capital of Canada, but I promise you — go to the Museum of Anthropology.
Now that I'm old and cool, I can appreciate art, history, and culture. The museum highlights Indigenous art and has a bunch of exhibitions to check out.
And I love the Museum of Anthropology because it's a bang for the buck. The actual building housing the art is (brutalist?).
Listen, I'm a fan. Not a critic. Let's normalize just saying we like things and leaving it there.
And if none of those feel right, then yes, by all means, ride the Aquabus and go to the Granville Island Public Market, and check out Van Dusen Gardens, and whatever you do, DO NOT FORGET to walk the seawall!
The opinions expressed in this article are the author's own and do not necessarily reflect the views of Narcity Media.
Charlemagne, Toronto. Right: Bar Bello, Montreal.Courtesy of Charlemagne Cocktail Bar, Courtesy of Jeanne Provost