A Redditor Asked Canadians Why They Hate Canada Geese & The Cobra Chicken Trauma Is Real
If you live in Canada, you're bound to have heard stories about Canada Geese, and you're probably aware that the famous North American bird has a bit of a bad reputation.
So, when a Redditor recently asked Canadians why they hate Canada Geese, it set off a huge discussion that had people sharing their most traumatic encounters — and some of these are not for the faint of heart.
In the subreddit, r/AskACanadian, a Redditor asked, "Why do so many Canadians dislike Canada Geese?" and the post got over 400 comments within three days.
"Cause they’re out of their goddamned minds," read one comment, which was upvoted more than 400 times.
"They attack Canadians as a sport," the next person added.
from AskACanadian
In fact, many users got creative when describing North America's most-hated bird.
"Because the cobra chicken will f@#k you up and laugh while it does," one Redditor said.
"Imagine sharks mixed with a chihuahua and you get a Canadian Goose," another added.
Meanwhile, many took the opportunity to share the genuinely traumatic incidents they've had with Canada Geese.
"I will NEVER forget the time when one of my old friends got viciously chased by a Canadian goose after approaching it," one person stated.
"The angry feathered b*stard was on this poor guy’s heels until the goose hunted him straight into a murky pond of water. The splash was priceless. Absolutely soaked from head-to-toe. It was by far the most hilarious thing I’d seen in years and I seriously wish I still had the video."
"Classic cobra chicken," a person responded, referring to the bird's popular nickname.
One parent had a somewhat troubling story of their own, joking, "One time I was out with my toddler daughter and a goose started coming at us. Had a brief moment of 'well, I'm gonna have to make another kid because this one belongs to the geese now.'"
from AskACanadian
Another person recounted a scary goose incident that occurred when they were just eight years old.
"I stumbled onto a nest while exploring a park. Mom and dad [geese] both attacked me and chased me all the way to my parent's picnic where they proceeded their attack of terror on any family member nearby. I’m in my 30s and I’ll never forget it," they said.
One person even recounted a goose attack when they weren't really doing anything.
"I got taken out by one on my bike...f*cker was just sitting there way off to the side then decided to take off into me. Didn't even stop to exchange insurance!"
Others tried to give more unbiased views as to why they aren't fans of Canada's cobra chickens.
"They are aggressive and territorial. They breed like crazy and they shit absolutely everywhere. EVERYWHERE," one Redditor stated.
"Every public park in Canada with a standing body of water is completely coated in gigantic mounds of goose shit. You literally can’t put down a blanket, go barefoot or let an infant crawl around anywhere," another agreed.
"It's a part of growing up here, being covered in goose shit after playing a field sport," somebody else chimed in.
People also complained about the fact that the birds are "too loud," territorial, and mean.
However, it's not all bad.
Some Canadians think it's a good thing that the birds are so… unique.
"I think there's a certain amount of perverse pride that Canada Geese are b*dasses," reads one Reddit comment.
"If anything, Canadians love their cobra chickens, and how they would be our first line of defence if Americans decide to cross the 49th parallel. We have been forcing them to watch Tucker Carlson so they are pretty agitated at the moment," another person joked, referring to the Fox News host's recent statement on the U.S. invading Canada.
from AskACanadian
In an attempt to summarize the whole thing, one person wrote, "Canadians don’t dislike Canadian Geese, we are terrorized by them. Those that like them have Stockholm Syndrome."
Whether you love them, hate them, or just live in fear of them, geese aren't going anywhere anytime soon.
And with Canada geese season, aka spring, coming soon, you're likely to hear many more horror stories in the coming months.
Good luck out there, Canada!
This article's cover image was used for illustrative purposes only.
