Just Hear Me Out — These Movies That Everyone Loves Actually Suck So Bad
The opinions expressed in this article are the author's own and do not necessarily reflect the views of Narcity Media.
Few things are as relaxing as sitting back and watching your favourite movie. But, did you know that some flicks considered among the best movies of all time are actually really bad?
I hate to tell you this, but there are a bunch of films that everyone loves that are secretly really bad for loads of reasons, from having loads of plot holes and being CGI nightmares, to simply being artistic rip-offs.
You might not believe me, but it's true.
Of course, film, like any art, is subjective and I'm a firm believer that people should watch whatever they want to watch.
That being said, here's a list of movies that millions of people love, or that have huge fan bases, that I think should be knocked down a peg. Or that should be tossed in the trashcan altogether!
Oh, and spoiler warning!
Forrest Gump (1994)
Yes, you read that right.
One of the most beloved movies featuring one of the most beloved actors of all time is on my don't-watch list.
While yes, there are parts of the movie that I genuinely like, and emotional beats I think are well-earned, on the whole, this movie just stinks.
The biggest reason I don't like it is because it's essentially 142 minutes of the Baby Boomer generation patting itself on the back. The central idea of this movie is "1956 to 1981 were the best years in American history."
I'll go out on a limb and say that viewpoint is a bit blinkered.
On top of this rose-tinted look at history, the whole schtick Gump plays gets old very fast. We get it, he is the modern everyman who can do no wrong!
And don't even get me started on how the movie treats Jenny, which basically boils down to, "listening to the wrong music and caring about things will kill you."
It's just a maudlin movie for boomers and I'm tired of hearing otherwise!
Watch instead: Basically anything else.
Interstellar (2014)
This movie isn't even the best Christopher Nolan picture!
Before I start, I will say there are definitely parts of this movie that are good. The part where McConaughey's character goes into the black hole is visually inventive and the emotional beats are done well.
But Interstellar gets way more praise than it's worth. On top of being far too long, it tries — and then fails — to pack an emotional punch.
The movie's whole ending, the lost astronaut communicating through time, is also unbelievably hoaky and obvious.
Interstellar goes out of its way to try to explain its complicated plot and scientific points, not realizing it's explaining away what makes movies fun.
A less-explained, less-Hollywood ending would have done a lot more to explore the themes of time, relationships and human progress.
Plus, did we really need that whole Matt Damon bit?
Watch instead: Solaris (1972), Solaris (2002)
Joker (2019)
This is one of the more polarizing movies to come out in the last few years and I'm here to say that it is not as good as you think it is.
While we should try to take a movie on its own merit, it's basically impossible to do so with The Joker because of how much its borrows from movies in the past.
The novelty of having the Joker character in a "realistic" world is interesting, but that idea falls flat when the movie is actually "what if The Joker was in a 1970s Martin Scorsese movie?"
I'm not the first person to say this, but The Joker is so indebted to movies like Taxi Driver and The King Of Comedy that you might as well just watch those.
If I wanted to watch Scorsese done badly, I'd just go and watch The Departed.
However, I do think that Joaquin Phoenix does a good job in the movie and, despite all I've said, I am excited for the musical sequel with Lady Gaga.
Watch instead: Taxi Driver (1976), The King of Comedy (1982)
Avengers: End Game (2019)
Strap in. I'm about to get real spicy.
Thanks to Avengers: Endgame, fans now are obligated to watch every movie put out by a studio so that when the big finale rolls around, they can catch all the references.
It's the only major movie out there wherein, for the big, cinematic moments to truly make sense — the famous portal scene in particular — you need to have seen at least six other movies before sitting down.
Call me old-fashioned, but I think movies should dazzle, excite and pack a punch, even if they're part of a series.
Seeing endless characters stream in from other movies you haven't seen is a major yawn-inducer — and I've actually seen a bunch of them!
And say what you will about the other movies on this list, at least they are shot well and look good.
On top of the flat, boring, lifeless shot compositions of Endgame, the CGI world that takes up most of the movie just looks boring and sterile.
But, I also understand these are movies for its fans and children, of which I am neither.
Watch instead: Spider-Man (2002), Spider-Man 2 (2004)
Honourable Mention: Pulp Fiction (1994)
Fine, I'll say it: Pulp Fiction is not one of the best movies ever made. Heck, it's not even the best movie its director, Quentin Tarantino, has ever made.
It's great! It's era-defining! But it doesn't really hold up to some of the other movies considered the best.
While I wouldn't go as far as saying it sucks, I think a lot of this movie is incredibly flashy, wild and stylish in the exact way that, if you watch it at a certain age, you think is really cool.
But, returning to it, there are actually a ton of parts that stand out as the opposite of a masterpiece. That whole bit with Bruce Willis is a snore fest and the "1960s by way of the 1990s" aesthetic is grating after a while.
If you want to see a truly perfect Tarantino movie, there are a bunch that are better than Pulp Fiction.
Watch instead: Jackie Brown(1997), Once Upon A Time...In Hollywood (2019)
So, that's my take on these "classic" movies that everyone loves. And while you don't have to agree with me, I hope that this made you rethink the movies you love just a little bit and interrogate why you love them.
Because at the end of the day, it's all just opinions!
If this has you craving a movie binge-watching session, Cineplex Canada has a whole bunch of movies coming out this February and that includes include horror flicks and Pal-entine's Day classics.
