A Bride Expected Guests To Pay Her $1K Bachelorette Bill & People Love How They Told Her No
Should everyone but the bride and groom be paying for the costs associated with wedding events like bachelor and bachelorette parties?
That’s a debate people are having under one Reddit post on Am I The A**hole (AITA) after one user shared a story about the time her sister-in-law expected her to pay for her bachelorette dinner bill that ended up being almost US$1,000.
So the person took their story to the public and asked “AITA for embarrassing my SIL after she expected me to pay her and her friend's bill?
The Reddit user explained that she went to a “fancy upscale restaurant” for her sister-in-law’s bachelorette party with her friends.
There ended up being eight girls in total, so you can imagine the bill they racked up.
The original poster (OP) gave the readers some context and explained that her soon-to-be-wed sister-in-law grew up as the “golden child” that was “coddled” by her family and given everything.
Fast forward, the SIL still lives at home with her 4-year-old daughter she had with her ex and is prepping for her second marriage.
Meanwhile, the OP and her husband, the younger brother of the bride-to-be, have very different financial situations and are two accomplished professionals with well-paying jobs in the tech industry.
“I'm not trying to sound braggy, this is just for context, but we live a very, very comfortable life,” wrote the OP.
That definitely helps explain what happened next at the dinner.
"At the end of dinner the bill comes out and the waiter hands it to me…” wrote the Reddit user.
“I'm sitting there confused for a second until SIL speaks up and is all 'my parents and I were talking and were thinking you and my brother can handle the bill for this, as a wedding gift, since you're not financially contributing to my wedding.'”
Yikes.
The Reddit user, obviously shocked by what was happening, asked the SIL, “and you didn't think to bring this up to me beforehand?”
“She started going off about how we're so well off so what's the big deal, and she's sure her brother wouldn't have an issue with it. I asked her why her fiancé doesn't foot the bill, or my in-laws, and where in her right mind she thinks it's okay to spring this on me?”
The SIL then brought up how much wealthier the OP and her husband are than the rest of her family, and she didn’t assume paying the bill would be this much of an issue.
“I told her, 'well sorry but I'm not your parents, don't expect handouts from me,' said the OP.
“She called me selfish and I called her an entitled brat, paid for my half of the bill and left.”
Although the OP’s husband took her side, the rest of the family, including the mother-in-law and extended family members, didn’t agree with how the Reddit user handled the situation.
Despite the backlash from her in-laws, most of the people who saw the Reddit post agree that she’s not the a**hole in this situation.
One user commented under the woman's post, saying, “don’t apologize. No matter how much money you make, you are not expected to: 1. Contribute to your SIL's wedding (wtf), 2. Foot the bill for an entire bachelorette party that you were attending as a guest, 3. De-escalate her temper tantrum once she didn't get her way.”
“The burden of payment for a bachelorette party usually falls on the maid of honor and bridesmaids (and arranged for ahead of time!!!) or the bride,” continued the comment, which received almost 17,000 likes.
“And a far more common occurrence is that everyone pays their own way but chips in for the bride so that she is taken care of, but again, that's settled way ahead of time!”
Many agreed with the comment above and said she wasn’t responsible for keeping the peace in the family.
“And there's no world in which it's okay to pick an expensive location, invite someone as a guest, order (almost certainly) more than you would if you were footing the bill yourself, then expect one guest to pay the whole bill on the spot,” wrote another user.
“Especially since she'd discussed it ahead of time with her parents but neglected to discuss it with either OP or her husband. NTA”
It's unclear where the two women stand now, but hopefully they're on better terms!
This article's cover image was used for illustrative purposes only.
