Oh, baby! My heart goes out to you.
I've been to seven schools including my cross-country move from Vancouver to Toronto for university and from Canada to the United States for grad school, so I understand what you're going through.
Leaving your family, friends and support system behind for a shiny new city is equally thrilling and gut-wrenching.
On the one hand, you have an incredible opportunity to learn and explore a new environment but on the other, you have no one to do it with.
It's easy to feel isolated and spiral into loneliness but I promise with time and putting yourself out there you'll develop a whole other support system to keep you grounded.
Here's some advice to make friends as a newcomer in Toronto.
Is it normal to be lonely after moving?
A view of a building on the University of Toronto campus.
Valentino Visentini|Dreamstime
Feeling lonely and out of place after a big move is incredibly common, according to Ontario psychotherapist Vladimir Rakic. That's why it's important to remember you're not the only one going through it at your school.
Rakic told Narcity that in his practice and experience as a student support counsellor, many international students feel isolated and lonely when they move to a new country for university.
"It's very daunting. A lot of people's anxieties can come to the forefront. Their connection with their family and community oftentimes has to be rebuilt," says Rakic.
When you first move Rakic says it's easy to get into the habit of isolating yourself by staying in your room studying instead of putting yourself out there to make new connections.
I remember when I first moved to Toronto for journalism school at Toronto Metropolitan University, I felt so out of place and spent 90% of my time watching Friends on Netflix in my depressingly little dorm room.
After a couple of weeks, I realized a social life wouldn't barge into my room and find me so I started going to the gym at the same time every day, attending social events and straight up asking strangers to hang out.
I met one of my best friends in line at a Starbucks on campus after overhearing her also order a pumpkin spice latte. I tapped her on the shoulder, said something funny about PSL season and asked her out to lunch. Six years later, she's one of my emergency contacts.
Another one of my best friends was wearing a cute purse in class so I complimented it, sat next to her and asked her if she wanted to study together.
Look for a way in with somebody and then start chatting!
What is the best way to make friends at university?
Students sitting at a tables studying in a university library..
The benefit of moving to a new country for school is that most people around you are also looking to make friends so you just have to find common ground and start cultivating relationships. Of course, depending on how outgoing or introverted you are, that can be a massive challenge.
You might be too shy to make the first move, but thankfully some situations can help you out.
Rakic says an easy hack to building friendships is to join a study group for one of your classes and segue into friendship from there. You have the opportunity to get to know your classmates outside of class and if you click with someone you can go from study group to grabbing coffee and eventually just hanging out like old pals.
If you're missing home, Rakic also suggests finding a cultural centre, a club or a place of worship if you're religious, just to give yourself that sense of community and home. He says this is a great way to meet people in your community with a similar country of origin or cultural connection.
The key is to find what makes you happy and start doing it. From there, friends and a sense of routine and community will follow.
For example, if you love sports you might think about joining a sports team or intramural league at your university. If you're an avid reader, find a book club where you can meet people who have similar passions.
Check your university calendar and take advantage of whatever social events you can find.
Chances are the people attending are in the same boat as you so they'll be eager to make friends.
How to deal with loneliness in college?
A student sitting in an empty hallway with their backpack on the ground.
Loneliness is an uncomfortable part of life and while you're in the transitional stage of making friends you may have to sit with this emotion and work through it.
As cliche as it sounds, sometimes even going outside for a walk to grab a coffee can help brighten your mood.
When I was feeling down as a freshman I used to walk through St. James Park with a coffee and a good book and while sometimes it was hard to get out of bed, I always felt better after going out.
Rakic says getting a workout in is also great for your mental health. So hit the gym, go for a run or try and get some exercise in whatever way works for you.
If your blues become too much to handle on your own, Rakic suggests reaching out to mental health services at your school where they can help connect you with a counsellor or resources.
Cheap Advice
Moving to another country for school is a massive shock to your system, but it's also an opportunity to discover yourself! When no one knows you or has expectations of who you are, you can unearth who you want to be without the influence of your friends or family.
Take this time and rediscover yourself and build the life you've always wanted. Also, follow your passions and take advantage of Toronto! It's a beautiful and diverse city where I'm sure you'll make a lifetime's worth of memories.
Join as many clubs and groups as you can and don't be afraid to put yourself out there with new people.
All friends start as strangers and sometimes a moment of courage can spark a lifetime of friendship.
It might take some time for the 6ix to start feeling like home but you'll gradually strengthen your friendships and community bonds in the city.
Welcome to Toronto, friend!
I promise the city is happy to have you.
The opinions expressed in this article are the author's own and do not necessarily reflect the views of Narcity Media.
This interview has been condensed and edited for clarity.
This article's cover image was used for illustrative purposes only.
Cheaper Than Therapy is a spicy column and video series hosted by Brooke Houghton where readers can share their own anonymous questions and get expert advice for free. Brooke speaks from her own experiences as a single 20-something woman in Toronto and brings on expert guests from therapists to celebrities to help solve your relationship, sex and love issues. So if you can't afford therapy from an actual professional, ask her a question here and tune in next month for another episode of Cheaper Than Therapy.
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