The views expressed in this Opinion article are the author’s own and do not necessarily reflect the views of Narcity Media.
Adulting gives friendships a whole new meaning. From balancing schedules and working from home, it's become way more complicated for people to meet organically and form relationships, so some turn to online apps, like Bumble BFF.
My close circle was filled with nearby co-workers, but, now, they are stationed around the country — some even international — and my office is virtual.
So, I tried Bumble BFF, and even though I wasn't swiping for love, it felt like it could have been the same thing...with slightly less pressure. It's psychologically draining to figure out how to showcase your best self authentically, but the risk was worth the reward.
Here's how was my experience using the app for the first time.
The Bumble BFF process
When you sign up, the app gives you three choices: Dating, Business, or BFF.
After choosing BFF, I was taken to a page where I had to add my name and birthday, and school is optional.
Next, it's photo time. You can pick six of your best to showcase and, honestly, this tripped me up and I didn't know what to do. I changed my pictures and the sequence of them about 10 times until I finally got the ones I feel represent me as a friend.
I made sure to include a picture with another friend. I know this is confusing since I was online looking for just that, but I didn't want to seem like I was unable to form relationships.
Lastly, I aimed to sprinkle in some personality pictures and those that genuinely represent my vibe to essentially answer the question, "tell me about yourself".
Jenna Kelley with a wine glass. Right: My Bumble BFF account.Jenna Kelley | Narcity
The next step had me respond to a page full of lifestyle questions about my relationship status, how much I drink, my astrology sign, my interests, and much more.
You also can answer a list of prompts to showcase your personality, which increases your chances for a match, as well.
The questions you answer on Bumble BFF.Jenna Kelley | Narcity
The Bumble BFF match
It's now the time to swipe right or left on people I feel would be a match for me. Left is a no, and right is a yes.
I looked at women who had commonalities — his relied heavily on their bio or the responses to their questions.
Did they like to go out? Did they also like to enjoy nights in? Do their photos match the ones that I might see in my own camera roll with my friends?
I found many interesting women to match with, but if they had a lot of photos that were doing things I don't necessarily do in my free time, i.e. hiking, I would swipe left, as it would be difficult to have a common interest.
A bio on Bumble BFF.Jenna Kelley | Narcity
At the same time, Bumble will tell you how many people swiped right on you, with a bunch of blurred profiles (unless you purchase the upgrade).
When you swipe right on someone who doesn't come up as a match, it gets mentally challenging and starts to make you wonder if you represented yourself well or didn't.
The page that shows how many people swiped right on you.Jenna Kelley | Narcity
After some time spent on Bumble BFF, I started to realize how many people were in the same boat. So many people had bios that read that they work from home or they just moved and are having a hard time finding their squad.
The Bumble BFF conversation
When you match with someone, you have 24 hours to message them and they have 24 hours to message you or it expires.
This weeds out the people who don't really care about the app and the ones who are looking to genuinely find someone to hang out with.
I met one girl on Bumble who I got along with. We conversed over text for a healthy amount (a week and a half) and then made a date to meet at a restaurant for drinks and dinner. I promise it's not as romantic as it sounds.
She also had a work engagement at a certain time, so we knew the dinner would only be about a two-hour meeting, which was perfect to not take up your whole evening if it didn't go well. The timing was everything.
The Bumble BFF meet-up
It's always exciting to meet someone new, but it's also terrifying to put yourself out there in physical form.
I was thinking about the right outfit, and, of course, praying she seemed as normal as she was in person that she was through text.
Also, icebreakers? What are those? Would it be awkward?
I figured I'd put my best foot forward and just get on with it. So, that's what I did. By this time, she gave me her number on the app so we were able to text where we sat at the restaurant and it was so relieving!
We had a fantastic conversation and got along so well. We cheers'd to new friends and had a great meal. We gossiped and had girl talk. It was one of those moments where you pat yourself on the back for doing something tough!
The Bumble BFF aftermath
Leaving that situation was extremely exciting. I mean ladies, let's be honest, you can have your most successful relationship on a dating app by finding your best friend over your soul mate.
It's definitely not traditional, but it's what the new wave of communication is and if technology brings you one step closer to finding your network, why not take the chance? After all, you can always delete your page if you'd like.
As for me, I made a new friend. We have plans next week.
Happy swiping!