I Ranked Halloween Candies From Worst To Best & This Canadian Chocolate Bar Is The GOAT
The views expressed in this Opinion article are the author’s own and do not necessarily reflect the views of Narcity Media.
Halloween is coming which means that spooky scary skeletons, horror movies and, most importantly, lots and lots of candy.
And while a lot of us might have aged out of trick-or-treating, that doesn't mean we've aged out of candy. Heck, we're adults, we can go to the store and buy all the chocolate that we want!
But which ones are worth getting for yourself? And maybe more importantly, which ones will make you a hero to trick-or-treaters at Halloween, and which ones will get your house egged?
I took a deep dive into the most popular Halloween candies over the last few decades to come up with a worst-to-best list that should help you make those tough choices this spooky season.
Here are the best and worst candies you can get at Halloween in Canada, at least in my opinion
The worst
We're going to do the worst candies all in one go because there are a bunch of throw-in candies that you get at Halloween that, quite frankly, suck.
Those marshmallow strawberries, the rock-hard toffee things with the orange wrappers, the Popeye candy sticks and, yes, even the chalky sweetness of Rockets all belong in the bottom tiers of Halloween candy. They all taste like they're from the Great Depression and I think we as a species have evolved past the need for these candies.
If I was over the age of 40, maybe I'd have a nostalgic connection to these candies. However, I'm not, so I don't.
Instead, I'm happy to say I would cast all of these into the fires of hell.
And if you're a Rockets defender, let me ask: is this the candy you'd reach for over any chocolate bar? Really?
Score: 0/5
Mr. Big
What's more fun than a big thing rendered small? Honey, I Shrunk The Kids knew this, the Ant-Man movies knew this and the company behind Mr. Big knew this.
They understand that making a giant chocolate bar into bite-sized bits means that you get a better ratio of chocolate coating to peanut, caramel and wafer interior — at least that's according to my Grade 8 Science teacher, Mr. Lunn.
While not my fave of all the candies, it's a fun little treat and among the first I would crack open. And yes, that's despite the Sex and the City connections.
Score: 3/5
Nibs
While Twizzlers often get all the fame and glory, one of the unsung heroes of the liquorice world is Nibs.
They're chewy and sweet pieces of cherry liquorice that offer a great contrast to the more chocolatey and rich flavours that you'll see on this list.
Why aren't they ranked higher? I'll admit my bias and say that I'm fully a freak for chocolate.
As a kid, I was more into the flashy fun of Twizzlers but now, as an adult I've matured to realize that Nibs are the superior product.
Score: 3.5/5
Reese's Peanut Butter Cup
Reese's Peanut Butter Cups are the king of confections, along with being something that you'll always see in your Halloween bag.
These chocolatey and peanut buttery bites are among the best treats out there. However, they're not number one on this list because they're a little on the regular side.
Typically you'll only get a single peanut butter cup in a Halloween-sized package, and that's disappointing when you consider that you get three in a full-sized pack.
And while yes, a peanut butter cup is maybe one of the best treats on the planet, they don't take the top spot because you simply don't get enough in each Halloween-sized candy pack.
Score: 4/5
KitKat
Another titan of the candy world that has been shrunk to a fun size is the famous KitKat.
If you've ever had a KitKat, you know the crunchy, waffery joy these carry. However, you might be surprised to learn that these are particularly tasty in Canada when compared to the U.S. version.
Again, these might actually be better in their smaller version because of the ratio of chocolate to cookie wafer. They're also a bit easier to snap in two for sharing. Not that you'll be sharing your Halloween candy with anyone.
Score: 4.5/5
Hershey's Cookies 'N' Creme
Those little white chocolate and cookie bites really get the people going, in my opinion.
The magic of the Halloween-sized version of Cookies 'N' Cream is that smaller is better, because a full-sized one of these bars can actually be a little too much. For me, a whole Cookies 'N' Creme bar is a major sugar bomb, so the smaller version has that taste without the overwhelming sugar rush when you're done.
Does that stop me from eating more than a full-sized bar's worth of these choclates? No! But it's a fun little thing I can tell myself.
Score: 4.5/5
Coffee Crisp
The GOAT! The King in the North!
Getting Coffee Crisp in your Halloween bag meant you could enjoy a chocolatey and sweet treat while also feeling like an adult who gets to taste (gasp) coffee. Add in the fact that it's Canadian and it's made all the better.
It was the kid equivalent of putting on a smoking jacket and sitting in your study surrounded by your books. A Coffee Crisp made you feel sophisticated and adult.
Now that I'm an adult, I still love that slight coffee taste and I can go out and buy a full-sized bar whenever I want.
Still, there's something about that snack-sized Halloween bar that makes it extra special. It's a great bite-sized treat that's infinitely easier to eat, even if I get a sore tummy from it after devouring seven at once.
Is it worth it? Every single time.
Score: 5/5
That's my ranking of the best Halloween candies you can get in Canada. Obviously, I've left a whole bunch off, but rest assured that I love all candy at the end of the day and there are very few that are actually bad.
Heck, I even like candy corn!
