Every summer, like clockwork (steam-powered obviously), the city floods with wide-eyed, selfie stick-carrying Vancouver tourists who are way too keen to #ExploreBC. And, every summer, we locals politely pretend that we're not quietly losing our minds.
There's just something about the way they move through the city, though — so confident, so curious, so chronically around.
From tourist traps to sidewalk takeovers, it's a masterclass in what not to do in Vancouver.
So yes — these are seven things Vancouver tourists do that I simply cannot stand. And no, I will not be reasonable about it.
Saying "we don't have this back at home" about literally everything
Oh really? You don't have mountains, ocean, Grade A sushi, the most drinkable tap water in the world, and free healthcare back home in Wisconsin? Shocking.
Please, keep these thoughts to yourself. We get it, you're totally blown away by how incredible our hometown is compared to yours and think we're the luckiest people on the planet. Cool story, bro.
Taking 1,000 pictures at Stanley Park
If there's one thing I can't stand it's people reminding me I'm so lucky to live in a city that is constantly ranked as one of the most beautiful in the world. Every time I see a smiling tourist with their family or their selfie stick at Stanley Park with the Lionsgate Bridge in the background, I can't help but cringe.
It's just a 1,001-acre park on the water, in the middle of downtown, overlooking the mountains, surrounded by a 10 km seawall, and a bunch of beaches you can hang out at all day. What? Like that's impressive. Don't make such a big deal about it, gosh.
Taking #ExploreBC way too literally
Why do you need to take a day trip to Bowen Island, camp out in Alice Lake, and visit Victoria Island just to say you've seen our provincial capital?
Aren't you like...tired or something? Because you're kind of making it seem like we're not good enough on our own, even though every local would agree that one of the best things about this city is that if you leave by noon, you can be surfing in Tofino before sunset.
Paying for a $10 item with a $10 USD bill like it's the same thing
AND not asking for change.
Thanks to the exchange rate, you now just gave me a $4 tip! What, do you think you're better than me? Just plain insulting. You know what — just for that? You're getting a free drink on the house. See how you like that!
Treating the Steam Clock like its the Eiffel Tower
It's totally embarrassing and not at all completely adorable the way hundreds of tourist flock to the Gastown Steam Clock everyday and wait for 15 minutes with their phones ready to press record, to take a video of the steam clock when it whistles (and put it on their Instagram story). Look, the Gastown Steam Clock is only one of six steam clocks in the world. And the second one ever made. It's not that big of a deal.
Plus, Local Gastown shop owners can't handle when everyone comes to watch the clock in massive groups of people — that's why they paid $58,000 along with a few private donors to pay for the clock's upkeep. Because they don't want you to go!
It's really bad for business to have so many people flooding the streets of Gastown and spending their hard-earned cash on all the handmade goods for sale.
Acting like the Grouse Grind is hard
If there's one thing I'll never admire, it's people getting up at the crack of dawn on their vacation and working out. Trying to show up for your mind, body, and soul on a Saturday? Lame.
Does your hotel not have a stairmaster? It's basically the exact same thing. Except the views are obviously better. Who wouldn't want to face themselves in a gym mirror with sweat profusely running down their face, instead of the view of the entire city from the peak?
Treating Robson Street like it's Rodeo Drive
If it weren't for tourists, Robson Street probably would have shut down a long time ago. I mean, they single-handedly keep Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory in business.
Selfies with your oversized, delicious caramel apples? Cleaning out Canadian Crafts Gift Shop so you can bring your loved ones back home souvenirs from the best trip of your life? Supporting local businesses? Ugh. Give me a break. 🙄
Ok, fine. I'll admit it. As someone who's lived in Vancouver all my life, I actually love the tourists.
I love how you treat the Steam Clock like a national monument. I love how you keep Robson Street buzzing. I love how you never hold back on how much you love our city. Even when it's chaotic, it's as earnest as our ice cream, and deeply endearing.
Because the truth is, without you, this city would feel...a little less magical? You remind us, Vancouver locals, that this place — sometimes wet, always overpriced, and never quite as cool as it thinks it is — is still someone's dream destination. So please, keep coming back.
The only thing for real ya'll need to stop doing is the selfie stick. Just ask someone to take your picture, cause that one really does make me cringe.
The opinions expressed in this article are the author's own and do not necessarily reflect the views of Narcity Media.
