How To Know If He Just Wants To Hook Up Or An Actual Relationship
It happens way too often in this day and age of modern dating. You've been seeing a guy for a while, and you're unsure if your fling is going to turn into a real relationship or if all he wants is to keep hooking up with no strings attached. We're here to help you out and provide some answers to all your questions and share how to know if he just wants to hook up or an actual relationship.
It can be so easy to overthink and question whether the guy (or girl) you're seeing wants something more or if he just sees you as a booty call, especially in the world of modern dating 2019, where another girl could be just a Tinder swipe away.
There's no point in wasting your time if you want something more serious and all the signs point otherwise. So we're here to help you figure out whether he's in it for the long haul or just for the hook up.
Make sure to watch out for these signs!
He never brings you to meet his family or friends
It's obvious, but true. If a guy never even mentions the idea of meeting his family or friends to you and you only ever see each other one on one, that could be a huge indicator that he just sees you as a hook-up. If it's been a while and they still never make an effort to include you in things like work events or family dinners, it shows they don't see you as their girlfriend.
If he saw you as a potential girlfriend, he would definitely introduce you to his friends or his family, or at the very least, bring you out to group hangouts or parties to see how you mesh with his group. This has even become a dating trend in 2019 called pocketing, which happens when someone doesn't introduce you to their crew because they're hiding you away.
He only texts you
Okay honey, if he's only messaging you at night and slipping into your DMs to ask if you wanna come over and chill, it's pretty clear that he just wants to hook up. A guy who wanted something more would ask to hang out in broad daylight too and go on fun dates, not just Netflix and chill at his place in the night-time.
Another big thing is if he doesn't make an effort to hang out in person but maintains a texting relationship with you. This is an actual problem that millennials face in the world of Tinder. Let's be honest, we've all "dated" a guy that we meet up with once in a blue moon but the majority of the relationship is contained to texting each other on the dreaded dating app.
A guy may keep you interested by occasionally sending you texts. But, that doesn’t actually mean they want a relationship with you, it just means that you’re on a back burner or one of the girls in their rotation. Ew.
He doesn't make any plans that are in the future
If he can't even commit to something that's just a few weeks away, it's a clear sign he can't commit to you either. Someone who doesn't see you in their future, won't make plans with you in the future. If he's flakey and doesn't give concrete answers or he never initiates dates first, it shows that he's just waiting for something better.
On the flip side, if he's inviting you to things like a hockey game, concerts or a friend's wedding that are a month or even more away, you can tell that he sees this as something that's more long-term! Yay!
He only compliments your looks and not your personality
If he showers you with compliments about your physical appearance, but never really tells you why he actually likes you as a person, this is a subtle sign that you're low-key just a booty call. It's easy for a guy who wants to hook up to say sweet nothings and focus on your appearance because that's what they're paying attention to.
Another thing to look for is if he keeps your conversations more on the sexual side, such as sending you sexts or DMing you for late night meet ups instead of asking how your day was or messaging you good morning.
He's open about his emotions and what he's going through– the good or the bad
If he isn't afraid to show you his more emotional side, this shows that he trusts you and sees you as more than just a hookup. Given how hard it can be for many guys to open up, they normally won't bother doing so unless it's a serious relationship.
If he's able to share with you all that he's going through, whether it's positive or negative, that shows your relationship is moving towards something real instead of a one that is purely physical.
He doesn't take care of your needs in bed
If a guy is only focused on himself and how good it feels for him during sex, it's pretty clear he doesn't care enough about you as a person. Someone who is boyfriend material would want both of you to fully enjoy the experience and he would care about how you feel too.
Another thing to notice is whether he wants to cuddle in bed after doing the deed, or if he just goes to sleep right after or even straight up bounces and leaves no time for pillow talk. Often if they just see your relationship as a casual thing, the guy doesn't want to spend any time cuddling or hanging out after.
He's not afraid to talk about defining the relationship
If you are feeling unsure and can't read whether he wants to keep it casual or something more, you can always just straight-up ask him! However, if he is relationship material, you probably won't even have to play the guessing game for very long into dating.
If he's not afraid to have the conversation and you are both on the same page when it comes to whether you're exclusive or not, then you have the answer. If his response is vague and doesn't really answer your question, this reaction itself says enough and shows that he doesn't really want a more serious relationship with you.
At the end of the day, remember that if a guy wants something, more often than not, he will be clear about it and go after it. If it's been a few weeks or even months into seeing each other and he hasn't mentioned defining the relationship or setting more concrete labels, whether it's being exclusive or being official, then it shows that he just sees you as a hook-up or a casual thing.
If that's the case and you want something more, don't waste any more time on this dude. Either ask him if he wants to get serious or leave that guy in the dust. You deserve to be happy in your relationship and to be with someone who's just as sure about you as you are about them.