Think you're a real Vancouverite? This chaotic quiz will test your street cred with 13 things only true locals have lived through.
Fair warning: True locals will relate, while others will leave this article somewhat confused and probably clutching their pearls. Buckle up, because here's 13 things you've definitely experienced as a Vancouver local.
You've seen Nickelback live and felt things you hadn't felt in years
They say that when you die, DMT floods your brain, and your life flashes before your eyes. And while I don't know what's on the other side, without a doubt, I know Nickelback's ''Feed the Machine Tour'' will be on that reel.
It was one of those nights — you had to be there. Basically like Woodstock — only better, because the only Hendrix song I know is "All Along the Watchtower," and the only Nickelback song I know is literally all of them.
I swear the roof was going to blow off of that place when the chorus hit from "Photograph". We came, we sang, we wept.
You called the Rogers Arena, "GM Place" until 5 years ago
If you still call it GM Place, congratulations — you're officially old Vancouver. The name changed to Rogers Arena over a decade ago, but some habits die hard. It's like calling it the Sears Tower instead of Willis Tower; we know it's wrong, but it just feels right.
You've smoked a J at the VAG on 4/20
Just typing that entire headline was cathartic. It's not "The Vancouver Art Gallery", it's the VAG — say it with your whole chest. You bought a pink grinder, and you dared to call it activism.
You were young and full of hope. Nothing by BBMs and dreams and Bang-On T-shirts. God, I miss those.
You've waited 3 hours for a table at LOCAL Kits — and stayed for 16 more
There is one summer that will go down in history as the greatest of all time and we know it could only have taken place in the year of 2016. I swear I hear the first few chords of "Trap Queen" and my tongue can taste the Pickelbacks on the LOCAL patio.
No sunglasses, sitting in the absolute direct sunlight, and too many pickelbacks deep with my girls.
If you were in Vancouver that summer, you didn't just live through a season — you lived through a cultural event. And honestly? We’ve all been trying to get back there ever since.
You've spent at least one New Year's Eve in Whistler
You paid like $600 to sleep on the floor of a condo with 13 people, wore open-toed heels in the snow, and got into a screaming match with your situationship outside Longhorn Saloon.
You don't love the East Van sign
If you think the East Van cross is cool, I really hope you're new here — because disliking that neon "art piece" is a local rite of passage. I don't even know why. It's not aesthetically offensive at all really. But it's just one of those things. Like how New Yorkers have to look away when they see the Empire State Building.
So if you do like it (most of you), like it in secret. Do not wear an embroidered snapback or a printed tee with this logo, please! Yes, I am talking to the random man on the Aquabus I met many moons ago who was sporting BOTH, at the same time.
You've had to ask your parents to help with rent — more than once
Yeah... none of us like admitting this one. Vancouver rent hits different when you're making $22/hour though, and blueberries are a luxury.
You called it a "temporary loan". Your mom called it enabling.
You got obliterated at Rugby Sevens, even though you were pushing 30
I say this with a great deal of shame, but even I (a true local) and the creator of this list, do not have a perfect score. And having never been to the 7's is my downfall.
Even I, though, know about the debauchery that has ensued. There are booty shorts hiked up so high under those Canada jerseys that you may as well not be wearing any. A shot of vodka, chased with another vodka at 8:57 a.m. has never tasted so good.
Give yourself 1 extra point if you knew a player on the team. Give yourself 2 extra points if you were dating one!
You have owned this Aritzia Jacket
And styled it with military boots.
If you did not own this jacket, you definitely had a phase of wearing black bodysuits with blue jeans and a black bootie.
You assume when people say they're from Vancouver they mean Surrey
Vancouver is so small, that anytime someone tells me they know someone from here, my immediate response is very creepily: "What's their last name?". Because chances are, I know them too.
If I meet someone who claims their from Vancouver but I don't recognize them or their last name, I narrow my eyes and ask the real test: "What high school did you go to"?
Because if you are from Van you know that we're so proud of our city and no matter how protective it may seem, we're always 3 seconds away from believing the worst and shouting "she doesn't even go here!"
You've hit the 41st & east blvd. McDonald's after a house party (bonus if you cried in the parking lot)
Enough said. Too many granite counters in soccer mom's kitchens have been sacrificed to these parties.
You've dated someone you were way hotter than
He had three roommates, one pair of jeans, and a film camera. You had flawless skin but a very confused sense of self-esteem. It's fine, you were 20.
He said you "weren't like other girls" (his exes). You said yes to things like camping and meeting up with his weird friends at Fox Cabaret.
You were the hottest thing that's ever happened to him, and he repaid you by ghosting (for a bottle girl who only thought he was hot because you gave him street cred)!
You have used any of this slang
- "pack it in", "pack that" — or any variation of (to cancel/oppose a plan or idea)
- "g'd" (cool)
- "wheels" (to assess whether a person has "game", square wheels = bad).
- "pre" (the drinking party before the party)
- "mickey" or "2-6" (measurements of alcohol)
- "buddddyyyy" (friend, colleague, brother)
- pop a squat (to use the toilet suddenly)
- pin/pinner (skinny dude)
- hack a dart (smoke a cig)
Calculating your score
0-2 Points: You're actually from Surrey
Your nightmare is telling someone from Vancouver and having them say, "me too, which part?".
3-7 Points: You moved here in your 20's
You have lived in Mount Pleasant, and are here for the nature.
8-10 Points: You came, you saw, you conquered in 2016
You still go to Fortune.
11-13 Points:
You're born and raised.
I want you to know that I know none of these had anything to do with nature. In fact, I need you to know this was by design.
The opinions expressed in this article are the author's own and do not necessarily reflect the views of Narcity Media.
