If Canada were competing in a beauty pageant, Vancouver is Miss World. We're the prettiest (sea to sky), smartest (tech hub of this country), and winner of the swimsuit competition every time (by default as we're the only ones who can thirst trap in February).
The rest of the world is obsessed with us. I mean, have you ever told someone you live in Vancouver and had them not say: "It's the most beautiful city..."?
They're all obsessed, except for the rest of Canada. They're more like "Miss Runner Up" — a step down on the podium, smiling on the outside, crying on the inside.
They think they know us, but they just don't. So, if you're a fellow Vancouverite who's annoyed at the undeserved digs we get, or are from some other province and you just need to be set straight — listen up.
Here's all of the things other Canadians get wrong about my city.
"It rains all the time"
First of all, it's not real rain. It's a slow-burning, passive-aggressive drizzle that just hangs out in the background, waiting for you to notice it — like that anti-social high school friend you dragged to a house party and then immediately abandoned at the door.
Some days it wears you down, sure, but it never stops you from getting where you need to go — and in a metropolitan city, that makes all the difference.
100% chance of precipitation? An Arc'teryx hood or an umbrella will do the trick.
Pro Tip: I keep two umbrellas in my trunk — one for myself and a courtesy umbrella, of course. Just in case a friend and I decide to randomly storm the moody, cinematic beaches of Spanish Banks.
And hey, all that moisture means the city stays freakishly green all year round. You know where it never rains? Las Vegas. And I'm pretty sure those plants on the strip are plastic (just like everything else in that city).
"Vancouverites are unfriendly"
Vancouverites aren't fair weather friends. We are polite but we want to go deep. We want friends to do mental health walks on Kits Beach with, not nightclub buddies who we've never seen sober before 10 p.m. (most of us, that is).
We don't trust everyone right off the bat, but if you're new to the city trust the process. Give it a bit of time, and the reward is that the friends you do have are friends for life. Rain or shine.
"There's no nightlife"
The city is not club-heavy, it's true. But are we still doing that after 19, anyways?
Vancouver's a very "if you know, you know" kind of city. So, if you're hating on us for our club culture... I have some DEVASTATING news for you.
We have speakeasies, underground DJ sets, and the forever-most-cool option of them all — house parties. You just have to be invited.
"The dating scene is terrible"
Newsflash: Dating is bad everywhere.
While it's not great in Vancouver, it's worse in Toronto.
Do you know the #1 city that's ranked "worst" for dating? New York. Yes, New York. The city that every rom-com is set in. But it makes sense — it's too big and they're too many options, so everyone keeps theirs open.
We all know how TO loves to boast they're the NY of Canada — and to that I say: Good luck, babe!
While dating can be rough in Vancouver, it's not unique to the city.
"Everyone here is rich"
LMAO. Grain of salt in this one.
Most of us are one rent hike away from moving back to Coquitlam from whence we came. Even the ones who look rich! Yes, they splurge on Lululemon's and $10 Body Energy Club shakes — but they are also sharing a 2 bedroom apartment in Olympic Village with 3 roommates... OK?
"There's no real winter"
This one gets me. I think the one thing the rest of Canada thinks they have "over" Vancouver is that they have straight f-ed up winters. Like, because they live in snowbanks and misery, they are somehow "hard".
While I will not take away this "badge of honour" from MTL (because ya'll are living the dream for two months out of the year and a nightmare the other 10) when it comes to Vancouver, winter is not exactly Mexico down here boys!
We get snow. Snow that turns to black ice, and black ice that slides us right into ICBC's greedy little arms! I have hit at least three stop signs and one electric post due to unforeseen winter hill slippage.
"Everyone is outdoorsy"
False!
First of all, P.E. is for nerds. Everyone knows that.
Second of all, there are hundreds of us (or at least 10) who like to be inside. Right after curling, hanging out at coffee shops is our national sport.
We don't need to beach volleyball. We have Cheapskates on the LOCAL patio and we can see you fumbling just fine from over here.
"Nobody actually works here"
You know, this one is counterintuitive.
Yes, I've been going on about how climate-wise we have it the best here... so it seems wild that in the dead of winter, Torontonians have to trek the Bloor St. tundra just to make it to their 9 to 5, while here, everyone works from home.
That's because of the good weather though, not in spite of it. Look, we have a lot of start-ups who love "work life balance." Translation — that's basically "we don't care if you take an 8-hour lunch, as long as you meet your deadlines."
"It's all tech bros and influencers"
Incorrect. It's all nepo-babies whose dads work in real estate! (Kidding!) (No, I'm not!)
Listen, Vancouver really does justice to the "Canada is a cultural mosaic" agenda they pushed on us in Social Studies 10. We have a bit of everything.
If you're in Yaletown, yes, you'll find a lot of influencers who buy their follower count. But there's a bit of everything around the city.
In 4th? You got your Granolas. West Van, that's the grandmas. Commercial is your Italians. Coal Harbour is where you've got empty condos and everyone causing the housing crisis for us. Mount Pleasant, if the f**k boys born in the 2000s.
This list goes on — and it's beautiful :').
"It's basically just Canadian Seattle"
I blame every network medical drama show that films here for this one.
Vancouver is not the Canadian Seattle, and honestly, I wish it was because Seattle is cool as hell. Here's the thing though, even though we're all the Pacific Northwest, we share a region — not an identity.
Seattle's still got that 90's grunge and Vancouver's still got that 90's commitment to building condos that all look exactly the same. I got a bone to pick with our urban planners.
They got Nirvana — we got Nickleback. And I ride for both.
The views expressed in this Opinion article are the author’s own and do not necessarily reflect the views of Narcity Media.
