I ran the Toronto Waterfront Half Marathon last weekend, and the skies parted to shine heavenly wisdom on me.
Now that I have your attention with that Family Guy-esque visual, of course I was lying — except for the fact that I actually did manage to cross the finish line of a 21.1-kilometre run, as a near 32-year-old, for the first time in my life.
I timed 2 hours and 3 minutes, which is not record-shattering, but not the worst pace either.
And since I used to draw inspiration from other people's experiences while training for the mini-marathon, I reckoned I'd pen my own thoughts now that I'm on the other side, FWIW.
I have never been a regular runner FYI -- unless using the treadmill two to three times a month counts. I hit the concrete only once after I had endured my first winter in Canada this year.
For physiological context, I’m about 5'9" and weighed around 165 pounds before deciding to set this Everest to climb for myself in April 2022 — also my first year in Canada after moving here from India last fall.
So, if a former SSRI-dependent 30-something can run a half-marathon within one summer of practising, there's definite hope for my fellow depressed/existentialism-plagued mortals.
Here's my newly acquired wisdom from beyond the finish line (including, but not limited to, how nature can call at any time if you start running regularly).
1. Quitting smoking pays slow dividends
The day of my 21-kilometre run also coincided with the first anniversary of my last smoke (my love affair with tobacco spanned almost 13 years). Not that it was the only factor in building up endurance, but it had its moment, in retrospect.
In my initial days of training, I wasn't too committed to the cause — running 2-3 kilometres maybe twice a week — and the smoke-free lifestyle's impact wasn’t at the top of my mind either. Also, I didn't do a great job of tracking my progress.
So, I finally strengthened my commitment to running by signing up for the activity-tracking app Strava (the free version, of course). It became an easy source of motivation for beating each previous run.
Three months in, I was able to run 8 kilometres without huffing and puffing. The smoke from my lungs seemed to be finally evaporating, but the cravings on a cool summer evening — or with the morning cup of coffee — often turned on the devil on my left shoulder. They still do, but the ambition to do better than yesterday's run keeps my resolve strong.
Close to the 18-kilometre mark on D-Day, a spectator held a banner saying, "Pain is temporary, pride is permanent." I teared up thinking about how far I've come from being a smoking addict in the face of life's rough lessons and pushed on to the final leg of the run without stopping.
On the flipside of that very dramatic moment though, my left ankle is still wrapped in a crepe bandage, so perhaps it wasn't the best idea to get so emotionally charged. But I guess you win some, you lose some!
Here are some helpful resources in case you're struggling with substance abuse, as well.
2. Expensive shoes can be more than just fashionable
Kanye would probably disagree because the likes of the Yeezys (especially the current 350s and 500s) are definitely not meant for long-distance running. A pair from the shoe range, which grosses more than $2 billion dollars annually for adidas starts between 300 and 400 bucks.
There are a bunch of other long-distance-friendly options one can explore well under that range.
I did some of my own digging, and with the help of a very kind septuagenarian sales executive at my closest Running Room outlet, I landed on Saucony as a preferred brand. Their Kinvara 13 ($150) became my first pair of dedicated running shoes.
This fascination only grew, and soon the Saucony Pace 14 ($165) was also in my shoe closet. But my heart was set on the Hoka Clifton Edge, especially for its futuristic design, and I shelled out another $160 on it (now you know why I couldn't afford the paid Strava subscription).
Various other options are available in the market, but if you’re looking for a good combination of sufficient cushioning, optimal weight and a tight grip, the Saucony Pace 14 could be worth considering. It's the one I ran my half-marathon in.
Plus, they look good in the flashy fluorescent trim (refer to the header image, if interested).
Who knew shoes could be such a retail addiction? Well, the ever-growing sneakerhead community did; but it’s a world I’ve been introduced to only after I started taking running seriously.
3. Fancy smartwatches can be a scam
Okay, this might make me sound like a conspiracy-theory-spewing Kanye supporter, but hear me out.
After buying proper shoes, the next step toward the holy grail of running is to be able to track your efforts properly.
The Apple Watch ($575 on Amazon) would’ve been the obvious choice for an iPhone user like myself, while the Samsung ($370 for Watch 4 on Best Buy) counterparts present a less expensive alternative.
However, many Reddit-lurking sessions later, I came to the conclusion that I don’t even need a smartwatch.
As a half-marathon aspirant, what I needed was a fitness tracker. Being able to speak to my wrist or scroll through a social media feed on a run are not my cup of tea.
Activity tracking on Garmin Forerunner 55 and Strava.Alshaar Khan | Narcity
And who better than the GPS-specialist Garmin (formerly ProNav) to track my distances and speeds (it was between this or a FitBit)! The relatively humble Garmin Forerunner 55 ($260 on Amazon) became my choice of tech armor for my life’s most challenging endurance sport event.
It's not the smartest device; it's not even touchscreen — but I prefer using buttons with my sweaty fingers on a run (although you can buy a touchscreen version as well). It delivers on all parameters of activity tracking, heart-rate tracking, cadence, stress tracking and more.
The Garmin can easily be connected to Strava to track physical activities effectively, without the pretentiousness of a smartwatch.
Fin.
PS: When I stop being a smartwatch hater, I will finally admit that I do admire the latest Apple Watch's mind-boggling capabilities underwater and in extreme altitudes.
PPS: Might even buy one if I take up mountaineering seriously in the future.
4. Earphones could be a scam too
Okay, I see how this might appear more in the Trump-like conspiracy theory category than Kanye-ism now, but please give me one more chance.
The onus on external motivation for running has become so intense that some runners have testified to me about not being able to kick off if the music ain’t right.
The more intellectual types have shared a similar dependence on podcasts.
I’m guilty of partaking in both (especially the Better Call Saul podcasts), but on one fine day, when my TWS earphones were drained of battery, I decided to run commando (audio-wise, that is).
The writer beyond the finish line. Alshaar Khan | Narcity
The weather was great that day, and Toronto's Home Smith Park, along the Humber River, had never felt so welcoming before. That was it; I decided to run as often as possible without earphones on.
My longest run measured 18 kilometres before the day of the half-marathon, and without listening to any audio, I was able to accomplish my best 5K, my best 10K, my best 15K and a 21.1K timing of 2 hours and 3 minutes.
But earphone bashing aside, for those who wish to treat running as a practice for focus/attention, this is a good way in. I do love to listen to music or podcasts when I'm back though, so don’t hate me, alright?!
In Captain Holt’s famous words on the subject of exercise though, “Music is a crutch.”
5. Using moisturizer on privates can be life changing
And finally, lotion has other uses than most of you pervs have drawn from this subheading.
A study found that 35.7 percent of people who ran 40 miles a week or more experienced a "jogger’s nipple," caused by friction due to the texture of average athletic-wear.
A similar impact of long-distance runs has also been found on private parts.
So, moisturize your nipples and privates before embarking on long runs, and thank me later! Actually, thank these experts instead.
On the subject of athletic-wear, also consider investing in decent shirts, shorts and compression accessories. None of that will help if your bowel moves in the middle of a long run though. So, either go before setting out or accustom yourself to public toilets.