When I moved to New York City from Ontario, I was mostly thinking about going to my dream school (NYU) and how exciting it would be to live in my dream city while pursuing my dreams. The reality of being Canadian and moving to the U.S. wasn't really on my radar.
I didn't realize how different life in the U.S. would feel from my life in Ontario, or how many little things I would notice simply because I was Canadian.
It might have been a number of years since I lived in New York, but these were some of the biggest culture shocks I noticed, and I think they still continue to live on.
Barely anyone says 'please' and 'thank you'
You'll be hard-pressed to find as many people saying "please," "thank you" or "you're welcome" after ordering food or talking to someone in customer service.
I know Canadians can be a little too polite sometimes (if there is such a thing), but when you're used to hearing these little courtesies all the time, it feels very odd when they suddenly disappear.
Instead, you get a lot of head nodding, "mhm," "uh-huh" and the occasional "sure," which just isn't the same thing. And most of the time? You don't get anything at all.
The vocabulary differences
You'd think that with two neighbouring countries that speak the same language, there wouldn't be that many vocabulary differences. But there are — and some pretty big ones. And as a Canadian, I was often ribbed about them by my American friends and colleagues.
Some big ones are:
- Washroom vs. bathroom/restroom
- "Zed" vs. "zee"
- Toque vs. beanie
- Runners vs. sneakers
- Bill vs. check
- Pop vs. soda
I didn't realize I was talking so differently until someone pointed it out to me (and teased me about it) time and time again. Apparently, I had a whole Canadian dictionary hiding in my everyday vocabulary.
Oh well. I'll gladly wear my toque and ask where the "washroom" is any day of the week.
NYC subway culture is a thing
I mean, the Toronto Transit Commission (TTC) is its own animal. It has delays, complaints and enough Reddit posts to prove that Torontonians have complicated feelings about it. But despite all the negatives, the TTC does a pretty good job of connecting Toronto neighbourhoods.
The Metropolitan Transportation Authority (MTA)? A whole different beast.
No eye contact. Constant movement. Express vs. local trains. Squeezing onto a train shoulder to shoulder — and not just during rush hour. Knowing when to sit, when to stand, when to move out of someone's way and, most importantly, when you are absolutely in someone's way.
Then, of course, it's massive, and memorizing it takes a while. The TTC has five lines. The MTA has 25. When you think you've finally figured out the subway map, it feels like a victory.
And then there's the hierarchy of subway lines. Taking the subway here is a way of life. I've genuinely heard people say they wouldn't move to certain neighbourhoods because they don't like the subway line that serves it. The NYC subway isn't just public transportation. It's an entire ecosystem.
The pace of life is genuinely SO fast
When you think of NYC, you probably think of the hustle and bustle. The grind. And that's 100% true. Everyone is trying to make their way in the city and get what they want. There's a certain buzz and energy that makes you feel like you need to move at the same pace as everyone else, even if you don't know where you're going. And honestly, that can be overwhelming at times.
The pace is legitimately fast. People motor down sidewalks like they're on a mission. (Fact: I still walk this way years later because the imprint never left.) I always thought Toronto was a fast city, but it really has nothing on New York.
People walk quickly, order quickly, commute quickly and somehow always seem to have somewhere else to be. There's a lot of honking, constant movement and this underlying feeling that if you don't keep up, you're going to get left behind.
Yes, the portions really are bigger
I mean, everything is bigger in the U.S., and yes, so are the portions.
It just doesn't make sense to get that much food at one time when you're used to what you assume are normal-sized human portions. Then you go south of the border and realize you might have been eating kiddie portions this whole time.
You order a slice of pizza, and it's the size of your head. You get a drink, and it could probably hydrate a small village. And somehow, this is considered one serving.
I genuinely had to recalibrate what a normal amount of food was.
Straight talking is the norm
New Yorkers don't really do small talk, and they definitely don't shy away from telling you exactly what they think or feel. They're direct, they get to the point and they're not going to sugarcoat things just to spare your feelings.
At first, this can be a lot for a Canadian. We're just too darn nice and polite sometimes — maybe even to our own detriment. We'll say "it's fine" when it's not, apologize when someone else bumps into us and spend five minutes trying to figure out the nicest possible way to say what we actually mean.
New Yorkers aren't like that.
It took me a minute to get comfortable with it, but eventually I started to appreciate how refreshing it was. What you see is what you get. You don't have to wonder where you stand or decode what someone really means. They'll tell you — and usually, they'll tell you right away.
Apartments are another reality
There's a certain kind of hell that comes with living in a 10-storey walk-up with no elevator and no laundry, and that's just what you get in New York. It's a way of life.
You drag your laundry down multiple flights of stairs to the laundromat around the corner. You learn to carry groceries up what feels like 400 steps. And don't even get me started on moving.
I grew up thinking an apartment was supposed to have enough space for the furniture you owned. NYC quickly taught me that you buy the apartment first and then figure out where your belongings are going to go.
And then there are the buildings themselves. A lot of them are old — like, old old. Pipes and radiators groan and moan. There are mice. There's no air conditioning. The windows don't always close when you want them to, or open when you really need them to.
But somehow, you get used to it. You haul your laundry down the stairs, learn which floorboard makes the weird noise and accept that the radiator will wake you up at 3 a.m.
As Taylor Swift said, "Welcome to New York."
We may live side by side, but if you're a Canadian planning a move to the U.S. — prepare yourself for this and more!
