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I'm a born-and-raised Vancouverite, and when people find out I moved, they usually assume I miss the obvious stuff. The mountains, the seawall, maybe universal health care if I'm feeling especially patriotic or have a headache that three extra-strength Advil can't relieve.

They would be wrong. The seawall and I are historically arch-nemesis. I do NOT miss Tim Hortons breakfast. The sandwiches taste like they were manufactured in a 3D printer. Weirdly, though, whenever I am in a less major city, I really get down with Tim Hortons. AKA the last time I was randomly and (regrettably) in Windsor.

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Vancouver gets seriously romanticized. Yes, it's beautiful. Yes, there’s ocean, mountains, sushi, and hot people in $400 activewear pretending not to care.

But if you actually live in Vancouver (or grew up there, like I did), you know this city also has some deeply annoying flaws people love to gloss over. From the infamous Vancouver bail to the brutal nightlife, charmless glass towers, and underwhelming art scene – here are the terrible things Vancouver lovers keep conveniently ignoring.

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When I moved from Vancouver, it went without saying that certain things would be missed. The cheap, Ocean Wise-approved sushi? My local grocer sells a 6-piece tuna maki roll for $15.50, so. Yeah. Duh. Definitely missed.

Health care? As someone with a dangerously high heart rate who hasn't touched a cardio machine since I was court-mandated to in Grade 10 P.E. — a given, naturally.

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Welcome to Vancouver! We're so happy to have you visiting, relocating, soft-launching a new more earthy personality, or running away from an evil man that lives in "the 6ix" (we've all been there).

Truly. We love fresh energy. We love curiosity. We love it when you discover English Bay at golden hour and act like you've uncovered a secret no one else knows about. It is a true joy to see Vancouver through new, awe-struck eyes — a reminder of how lucky we are to live here.

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Dating in Vancouver can feel brutal, especially if you're a guy who's genuinely trying and still not getting very far. Between the flakes on apps, the city's socially guarded personality, and the fact that women somehow keep falling for f**kboys, it's easy to feel like the nice guy really does finish last.

So, as a Vancouver girl with a lot of single female friends — and a long history of ghostwriting my boys' Tinder texts — here's my advice.

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