6 Canadian McDonald's menu items that I can't find in the USA (and I'm sad about it)

Smarties McFlurry

To play food critic for a second, I'm about to give my hottest Canadian take: Smarties kind of blow.

I know, I know. Canadians have a habit of riding for things simply because they're ours. Even when they're not good — like Smarties or Nickelback (J.K.).

But in almost every respect, the Smartie is inferior to the M&M. The candy shell is thicker, chalkier, and somehow tastes like those pastel mint chocolates they hand out at weddings for reasons no one understands because they're also terrible.

There is, however, one arena where the Smartie absolutely dominates: the McFlurry.

That thicker candy shell suddenly becomes its greatest strength, adding an extra crunch against the soft serve that an M&M just can't replicate. Somehow, the whole thing works better than the sum of its parts.

Poutine

If you're from Quebec — keep scrolling. Don't comment.

If you're from literally anywhere else in Canada, though? Relax. I would bet my life that at some point during your elementary school career, you were absolutely down bad for the poutine at New York Fries in your local mall food court. Just because they made you take French does not mean you are French.

Objectively, there are 1,000 better spots to get poutine in Canada. And 999 of them are in Quebec. But McDonald's poutine makes this list by default because Americans can't get it at all.

And Americans love poutine B.T.W. Whenever I tell Americans I'm Canadian, there are three things they always say to me. And #2 is "I love poutine." Even if they've never had it.

Snack Wraps

One of my "healthy" drunk McDonald's orders used to be a Snack Wrap. Okay, fine, two. Okay, three.

So imagine this horror story: I move to the U.S. One of my first nights out, I pull into a McDonald's drive-thru, and there's, like... two Snack Wrap options.

Meanwhile, Canada is out here running what can only be described as a wrap empire. Sweet Chili. Chicken & Bacon. Creamy Chipotle. Crispy. Grilled. Buffalo. Ranch. Breakfast wraps. Even a McVeggie for the six vegetarians in Canada.

America has Ranch. And Spicy. 10/10 taste. 2/10 variety.

Everything Bagel

I have journalistic integrity, so I'll admit when America gets something right.

The U.S. McDonald's breakfast menu absolutely dunks on us when it comes to over-the-top breakfast sandwiches. The biscuit sandwiches are heavy hitters. But sometimes bigger isn't better!

Where Canadian McDonald's low-key wins is in the simple stuff. Sometimes I don't want breakfast to feel like I'm carbo-loading for a marathon — I just want an everything bagel with cream cheese and a coffee.

U.S. McDonald's only has plain bagels. Boo. Canada, on the other hand? We've got plain, everything and sesame bagels with butter or cream cheese.

Sometimes I can't bring myself to walk into a Tim Hortons if it means getting out of my car. And the executives at McDonald's Canada know that. They know I'm looking for the path of least resistance.

McVeggie

I have never once driven to McDonald's because I was craving vegetables. Not a single time.

But I respect that Canadian McDonald's believes in me anyway.

If you're at a U.S. McDonald's looking for a veggie burger, keep looking because there's nothing here for you. Meanwhile in Canada? We be keepin' it diplomatic.

Toasted S'Mores Cookie

The cookie and muffin situation at US McDonald's is actually dire.

Other than the classic soft-serve lineup, they've basically got a baked apple pie, a chocolate chip cookie... and apple slices, which are objectively not a dessert.

Meanwhile, the McCafé bakery section at Canadian McDonald's is absolutely popping off. Rainbow Sprinkle Cookies. Toasted S'mores Cookies. Carrot Muffins. Cranberry Orange Muffins. Fruit & Fibre Muffins.

And yes, we have apple slices too. But if my mom ever tried to make me order those instead, that's when I'd hit her with the classic: "We have those at home."