14 Canadian foods that I can't find in the US — here's what I have to settle for instead

Iced Capps

There are some things Starbucks simply can't replicate, and the Iced Capp is one of them. It's less sweet, doesn't leave a film on your mouth, and doesn't leave a bunch of flavourless ice at the bottom of your cup after a few sips.

Somehow it tastes like the first day of summer — or a treat after a hockey tournament. Long live Tim Hortons.

And yes, there are some Timmies in the USA, but not many, and none where I live.

What I settle for: Starbucks Frappuccino.

Caesar (drink)

Every good Canadian knows that the Caesar is the superior hair-of-the-dog drink. In fact, if I'm hungover at brunch and we're not having Caesars...why am I even here?

The U.S. equivalent of a Caesar is so close to getting it right and yet so far. The key difference being they use tomato juice and we use Clamato (tomato and clam juice).

What I settle for: Bloody Mary

Ruffles All Dressed

I'm not sure what nuclear codes are hiding in the All Dressed recipe, but the All Dressed chip battle has been an uphill one. Every once in a while, I'll see a Lays All Dressed chip bag — still not super common — but it doesn't even come close to the satisfaction of biting into a Ruffles All Dressed chip. 4/10 experience. The ridges of the Ruffles are half the fun.

What I settle for: Lays All Dressed. I guess.

Old Dutch Ketchup Chips

When it comes to ketchup chips, there is a hierarchy:

1) Old Dutch

2) Lays

3) Miss Vickies

What I settle for: Kernels Ketchup popcorn seasoning. Which I can only get on Amazon. And Kernels is a Canadian company, BTW. I go full-blown DIY and dust Trader Joe's potato chips with ketchup seasoning. I'm a resourceful Virgo.

Smarties... McFlurry

You'd think with a massive corporation like McDonald's, their menus would be the same across America, right? Wrong. I tried McDonalds in the US and Canada to see how it compares — and there were big differences. But perhaps the biggest of all — the Smarties McFlurry.

Also, I know this is so sacrilegious... But I actually don't like Smarties. Unless they are in my McFlurry. Then I LOVE them.

What I settle for: M&Ms McFlurry.

Ironically, I actually prefer M&Ms on their own. But don't prefer them in the McFlurry.

Hawkins Cheezies

You know how they say your palate matures the older you get? Well, my version of this was going from being a Puffed Cheetos girl — to a crispy Hawkins Cheezies girl.

They also look like something you'd snag from an old-timey country fair, which somehow makes them taste even better.

What I settle for: Crunchy Cheetos

Cactus Club Peach Bellini

The single greatest thing to emerge from the pandemic was Cactus Club's start delivering their make-at-home Peach Bellini kits. This definitely kicked off a two-year bender I went on, but #noragrets.

I've seen a few bars try to get on the bandwagon and create their own version — and it doesn't compare at all. It's a cheap imitation.

What I settle for: Margaritaville slushy drinks.

Montreal Smoked Meat Sandwich

The power is in the name — and it really says it all. After a few failed attempts and one painful Google search, I realized the Montreal Smoked Meat Sandwich cannot be found in the U.S.A. I will NOT have what she's having.

What I settle for: Pastrami on rye.

White Spot Pirate Pak

Once a year, White Spot hosts an adult Pirate Pak day, and it should be declared a national holiday. The Pirate Pak may look like a regular diner kids' meal. But it's not. It tastes different.

Also, guys, can someone tell me if the fries-and-malt vinegar combo is a uniquely Canadian thing? Because I swear, it is. My friends look at me like I'm wild when I ask for vinegar with my friends.

What I settle for: Grilled cheese and fries with mustard.

Coffee Crisp (& Co)

There are a lot of Canadian chocolate bars that you can't find in the US — Aero, Caramilk, Mr. Big — but the chocolate bar that stands above the rest is the unique and perfect Coffee Crisp. There is simply no equivalent.

What I settle for: Dunking chocolate-covered cookies in my coffee.

Glosettes

I'm gonna give you a little rundown of the Glosette etiquette. Glosettes are not a premeditated snack. They are what you get when you're at the movie theatre concession stand. And that is the only time you eat them.

So yes, can I get chocolate-covered raisins in the U.S.? Yes. But can I get them when I want them? No,

What I settle for instead (at the movie theatre): Milk Duds.

Nanaimo Bars

I love my Nanaimo Bars. It's one of the first treats I get when I come home. It doesn't matter if it's from a grocery store or a bakery. All Nanaimo Bars are made equal.

What I settle for instead: Legit, nothing on this planet hits for me like a Nanaimo Bar. Brownies, I guess. But it's a sh*tty consolation prize.

Maynards Wine Gums

Guysssss. This one hurts. I love a Maynards Wine Gum. As an adult? I feel like it's the mature candy of choice.

Wine gums aren't for everyone, but if you f*ck with them as I do — you know how much this blows.

What I settle for: Swedish Fish

Beaver Tails

Maybe if you're lucky, you could find a beaver tail at a roadside carnival... but still, extremely unlikely.

I like my Beaver Tails plain-ish with just a bit of cinnamon sugar, but you can go hard on the toppings. Pretzels, Smarties, chocolate sauce. You can really make these your own.