16 things I desperately miss about life in Canada that the US just doesn't get right

Small talk

A culture shock that took me out when I first moved to the US? No one wanted to talk about the "rain coming down hard out there" for at least 60-90 seconds.

The first time I rode the metro, I tried out "hey, how are you doing?" to the girl beside me. Not only did she not answer, but she clutched her purse tighter — as if I (a 5 ft 3 woman), was about to take her out.

And speaking of the metro...

Not every conversation ends up being political

I'm not saying we don't have our parties. We do. They're also red and blue. And orange. And green. And light blue. And purple.

But I think when it comes to politics, religion, and all the other things you're NOT supposed to talk about at a dinner party — we're pretty good at politely taking another sip of wine and saving all our resentments for our therapist.

Whereas in the U.S.? I've actually been to a dinner party that was basically the presidential debate with crudités. I dug into the hummus while my friends dug into each other's belief systems. There were character assassinations that made Lincoln's look like a fun night at the opera. Friendships ended that night, people!

The way credit cards get charged at restaurants

This one is so Larry David of me, but I've just never understood the whole concept of taking my credit card to the back when I'm at a restaurant?

I still use my Canadian BMO debit card in the U.S., and I have to put in my PIN; otherwise, the card doesn't work. Whenever this happens, they'll come back to me with a machine and ask me to put my PIN in??? Which — could we not have done that in the first place?

E-transfer

Usually, when someone e-transfers me money, it's because I need the money STAT. The U.S. has all these apps you gotta download, but with everyone's preferred transfer app (Venmo), there's a fee for an instant transfer. And if you want a free transfer, it's approximately three days for the money to get into your account.

Maternity leave

Ok, I'm not pregnant, so this one's a bit virtue signalling of me. But, hear me out! I have two best friends who are pregnant. One in the U.S. and one in Canada.

Guess who gets 12 months of paid maternity leave and who gets 12 weeks?

Sushi

Nothing brings a smile to my face like seeing the old "Ocean Wise" decal on a dive sushi restaurant that I know is gonna deliver on that $3 salmon maki roll.

Don't get me wrong, there's amazing sushi in the U.S. It's just gonna cost you an arm and a leg. Which no one can afford because — well...see #1.

Government funding for the arts

Believe it or not, I am sometimes a serious writer, guys. And if you're a creative, you already know how f*cking incredible it is that our government supports the arts. Like, we have no idea how lucky we are.

I've applied for grants, both privately and government-funded, that would never even exist in the U.S. Shout-out to Canada Council for the Arts, Bell Media, and HOT DOCS.

All our weird spelling and lingo and grammar

Canadians love to go the extra mile! Putting "u's" where they don't belong (according to Americans). I swear my friends think I can't spell, but TBH I think the same about them.

We write in the Queen's English, baby!

I also miss the Canadian hockey bro accent. And I miss the "washroom". And calling each other "buddy," not "bro".

Island hopping

They may have Hawaii guys, but a BC ferry could absolutely not voyage those waters.

Especially on the Canadian West Coast, we have so many little island day trips we can make, and for low-key, super cheap? I love it, and I miss being able to take a last-minute trip to Cowichan or Pender.

And whenever my U.S. friends have come back home with me — born-and-raised in Beautiful B.C., baby — one of the biggest flexes I pull is the Bowen Island or Victoria day trip.

Canada Day

I've lived in America for almost a decade, but the 4th of July just doesn't hit the same.

In fact, neither do any of the holidays. Not to be that b*tch 💅 but our Thanksgiving comes first, and so does our Independence Day (even if historically speaking they actually came after).

Thankfully, though, I got a couple of Canadian ex-pats in L.A. with whom I always celebrate the Canadian holidays.

You can take the girl out of Canada, but you can't take Canada out of the girl.

Health Care

I know this is always our go-to when we're trying to pull rank on the US, but it's just straight up true.

I'd been paying for "health care" coverage in the US for 10 years. Never used it once (mostly because I'll save the big health scares for when I get back home). The first time I used it, I visited the ER. Waited 8+ hours. Not only do I get NO solution, like not even a prescription, but I also find out my health care coverage is a scam. As in, there is no coverage, and I have to pay out of pocket.

Bill came out to $700. And yes, as an irresponsible adult-teenager, my credit WILL be affected.

The public education system

Ugh, this one's kind of depressing, so I'm burying it in here. But you have no idea how much better our education system is until you've seen the US alternative up close.

And let's just leave it there. And now, on a different note...

Lays Ketchup Chips

In my experience, there are 11 important snacks you can get in Canada that I can't find in the US, but perhaps the most devastating of all are the ketchup chips. Two brands have attempted to recreate them, but they are impossible to find, and when you do, they don't hit the same.

I actually have special-ordered my Lays ketchup chips on Amazon, and no, I'm not ashamed.

The legal drinking age

I mean — come on. The difference between 19 and 21 may as well be 100 years.

And, even better, in MTL, you can get drunk in your first year of university! Nuff said.

Self deprecating humor

If you haven't caught on, I'm a seriously self-deprecating person, and I know it's the Canadian in me. Americans will lose their mind when I say I'm from Vancouver, and I'll politely make them feel better by saying things like "it can't be that much better than Idaho!"

We both know it is.

But not only is the self-deprecation not reciprocated in the U.S., but it's also actually looked down upon. I can't tell you the number of times I've made a joke at my expense and been told I need to "be more confident".

Listen, bald eagle lovers – I'm not insecure, I'm considerate!!

The Nickelback culture

I swear you could be in the f*cking middle-of-nowhere Canada, and there isn't a damn soul who wouldn't know every single lyric to "Photograph" by Nickelback.

The other day I was cruising with my friends and "Someday" came on shuffle — and literally no one knew the song. I was pissed and then started looking into Flair flights home.