I'm a born-and-raised Vancouverite and these are the 8 BC cities I'd NEVER live in

Surrey (specifically Whalley)

Surrey has to be on this list simply because making fun of it is basically a Vancouverite birthright.

If someone says they're from Vancouver, there's a good chance the next question is, "Okay... but where did you go to high school?" Nine times out of ten, the answer somehow reveals they're actually from Surrey.

It's one of our favourite running jokes, and no, I don't make the rules.

Whalley, in particular, has been the butt of Vancouver jokes for as long as I can remember.

The inconvenient part? Surrey actually has some genuinely lovely neighbourhoods. Every time I drive through certain parts of the city, I'm reminded that it's kind of charming — which really puts a damper on decades of completely unnecessary Surrey slander.

⭐ My rating: 5/10 (old habits die hard)

Burnaby

Burnaby might actually be worse than Surrey in one very specific way: if you tell people you're "from Vancouver," but you actually grew up in Burnaby... you're not from Vancouver.

I don't care how close you are to the city limits. It doesn't count.

Now, before my family disowns me, I should mention that my Nonna and Nonno live in Burnaby, so I have a soft spot for it. And Cioffi's? Slice that f*cking mortadella, boys. I'm on my way.

But would I choose to live there? I just couldn't bring myself to do it.

To me, Burnaby has always felt like the place you end up because you want to be close to Vancouver — but not quite in Vancouver. And if I'm leaving Vancouver, I want to really leave. Give me a tiny fishing town, a mountain village or somewhere that feels completely different. Burnaby just feels... practical.

And unfortunately, "practical" has never been my thing.

⭐ My rating: 4/10 (mostly for Cioffi's... and Nonna)

Port Coquitlam

Ah, PoCo.

Maybe this says more about the people I know than the city itself, but I swear every friend I've ever had from Port Coquitlam has made it their life's mission to move to Vancouver — and never look back.

They'd rather pay Vancouver rent, accept they'll probably never own a home and watch their savings account suffer than admit they actually miss PoCo.

Which is wild, because Port Coquitlam is perfectly nice.

But apparently "perfectly nice" has never been enough to lure my Vancouver friends back.

Maybe one day they'll realize they had it good all along.

...I doubt it.

⭐ My rating: 5/10

Richmond

At this point, I should acknowledge that B.C. is massive, and yet I apparently have a very specific problem with Vancouver's immediate neighbours.

But here's the unfortunate truth about growing up in Vancouver: if you grew up in Richmond, Burnaby or Surrey, we spent our entire childhood reminding you that you weren't actually from Vancouver.

Is that obnoxious? Absolutely.

Do I stand by it? Also yes.

That said, Richmond is easily one of the best places in B.C. to eat. I'll happily make the trip for dim sum, bubble tea or literally anything involving dumplings.

But live there? I don't know... to me, it just feels like Vancouver's little sibling that's constantly trying to convince everyone they're basically the same.

It's giving Long Island insisting it's New York City. I'm kidding, but in a serious way...

⭐ My rating: 6/10 (for the dumplings)

Nanaimo

I've never once woken up and thought, "You know where I'd really love to spend a long weekend? Nanaimo."

Every trip I've ever taken there has felt like a pit stop on the way to somewhere else. Victoria. Tofino. Ucluelet. Cumberland. Nanaimo is where I stretch my legs, grab a coffee and immediately keep driving.

Is that fair?

Probably not.

But nobody said this ranking was going to be fair.

⭐ My rating: 3/10

Chilliwack

So here's the thing — I've never actually been to Chilliwack.

And you know why? Because I've never wanted to go.

And if you're thinking, "Hey, that's unfair. How can you judge a place you've never been?" — I've also never been to Moose Jaw, but I don't exactly spend my nights wondering what could've been.

Growing up in Vancouver, Chilliwack always existed in my brain as this mysterious place where people moved because they wanted a detached house and were apparently okay driving approximately 14 hours to get anywhere.

The problem is, everyone I know who's actually been there says the same thing: "It's way nicer than you think." District 1881 looks genuinely adorable, Cultus Lake is a B.C. summer classic, and, if you're outdoorsy, I can absolutely see the appeal.

Will I make it there one day?

Maybe.

But if I know me, probably not.

⭐ My rating: 3/10

Kelowna

I really hope my childhood best friend isn't reading this because she recently moved to the Okanagan and absolutely loves it.
But moving to Kelowna would be my own personal hell.

I get the appeal. The lake is gorgeous, the wineries are fun, and if your dream life involves boating all summer and being outdoors, you'll probably be happier than I've ever been.

For me, though? I just couldn't do it.

It's too far from a major city for me, but it also doesn't have the charm of somewhere like Nelson that fully commits to being a quirky mountain town.

To me, Kelowna feels like it's trying to recreate Vancouver in the B.C. Interior. It's got the condos, the Cactus Clubs, the brunch spots and the athleisure — but none of the convenience of actually living in Vancouver.

I'd happily spend a long weekend there every summer. But by day four? I'm checking Google Flights.

⭐ My Ranking: 3/10

Vancouver

Ah... so you thought I was a Vancouver stan? Think again.

I'm a born-and-raised Vancouverite. A real one. Not Burnaby. Not Richmond. Not Surrey. And yet, if I had to move back to B.C. tomorrow, Vancouver would be the last place I'd choose.

Why? Because Vancouver has somehow mastered the impossible: it's a city full of people who think they're edgy while being aggressively beige.Everyone dresses the same. Everyone goes to the same restaurants. Everyone's personality is either hiking, Pilates or telling you they're "thinking about moving to LA."

The humour is vanilla. The nightlife is either in bed by 11:45 p.m. or, somehow worse, at Gorg-O-Mish until 3 a.m.

And for a city that loves acting like it's world-class, it can feel surprisingly... small.Then there's the Aritzia epidemic. I'm sorry, but at some point we need to accept that owning the Effortless Pant is not a personality trait.

If I'm moving back to B.C., I don't want Vancouver. I want somewhere that fully commits to the bit.

Give me a tiny fishing town where everyone knows each other's business. Give me somewhere on Vancouver Island that openly resents "the mainland." Give me a weird little mountain town where the coffee shop doubles as the post office and the bartender somehow also teaches Grade 4.

Just give me somewhere with a personality. Because for all its mountains, ocean views and overpriced sushi, Vancouver sometimes feels like it's forgotten it has one.

⭐ My rating: 2/10