I left Vancouver and discovered that other cities do these 9 things way better

Street style

This one shouldn't come as a surprise, but if it does — I'm sorry, you and your Babaton "Smooth Matter" Gallery Top are part of the problem.

This is not the first time I've come for Aritzia, and it won't be the last. They are, unfortunately, the Cactus Club of clothing. I'm not gonna explain that one. Either you get it, or you don't.

I'd say there are a few strains of Vancouver street style for the ladies: The Lululemon gang. The COS overcoat girlies. Oak + Fort clean girls. Aritzia basic bbs. The Emily Carr student who loves Mintage Mall.

The men either wear Reigning Champ to the club, look like they just robbed a John Varvatos store, or only travel within a 10-metre radius between Neighbour and Roden Gray. They may very well all be wearing the Le Labo their girlfriend gave them for Christmas.

And the worst part is — everyone looks good. But also... the same.

Vancouver isn't a badly dressed city. In fact, I'd argue it's an exceptionally well-dressed one. No one looks particularly cringe. But after living in other cities, I've realized that cringe might actually be an essential ingredient in having great street style.

Because in New York, L.A., London, Montreal, whatever comparison you want to make, people occasionally look weird. They wear something you hate, something you don't understand, something you'd never think to put together — and then six months later everyone is wearing it.

Vancouver will wear “that thing” five years later — once Bella Hadid has worn it, Aritzia has mass-produced it, and three of their friends have confirmed it's not cringe (which is exactly what makes it cringe).

Italian food

You know that saying, "Sex is like pizza — even when it's bad, it's good”? Well, pizza is Italian food, and the point I'm making is: even when Italian food is bad, it's still pretty good.

But when Italian food is good, it's REALLY good. And Vancouver has surprisingly few places that have that next-level it.

If I closed my eyes and did a blind taste test at Giusti's, yes, I could believe I was in Rome. But there are also a few very popular Vancouver Italian restaurants that, in a blind taste test, could pass for the Old Spaghetti Factory.

I won’t name names, but yes, some of you are on The Drive. My Nonna has spoiled me, so when I'm in Vancouver, I rarely go out for Italian unless it's somebody's birthday dinner — but when I moved to L.A., I was shocked to find that the Italian food here was actually better. And not just at the impossible-to-get-into celebrity hot spots — even random neighbourhood spots were serving pasta I’d happily go back for.

New York, obviously, also puts us to shame, but the real insult? Toronto does too 😬.

First dates

If a man asks me to go on a hike for a first date, I'm assuming he hates me. And if I accept? It's because I hate myself.

I don't need a $300 meal — I just don't wanna work up a sweat or pretend I'm chill.

Dating in L.A. and New York has plenty of problems, but at least people seem to understand that a first date is supposed to feel like a date. Pick a bar. Make a reservation. Have a plan. Let me put on an outfit and be nervous in peace.

I know many women would love a Seawall/Starbucks/walk-your-dog date with a guy, and may be mad reading this. And I encourage you to take your angry comment to ChatGPT, turn it into a pitch and send it to my editor. Don't get angry. Get even. Come for my livelihood!

Late-night food

The devil works hard, but Breka works harder.

And God bless them, because one 24-hour bakery is basically responsible for feeding an entire city after 11 p.m.

Obviously, NYC has 24-hour dining on lock, but even in L.A. — where the bars close at 2 a.m. — I can get Korean food, Thai food, tacos or a proper sit-down meal well into the night. Vancouver, meanwhile, is basically standing at the door at 9:47 p.m. holding your coat.

And if you're reading this and you're part of the managerial staff at Donair Dude, don't worry — I see you. You're the hero Gotham deserves.

Dive bars

I love a dive bar. Unfortunately, Vancouver doesn't even seem to know what one is. Unfortunately, when it comes to real dive bars, Vancouver is slim pickings.

Montreal, L.A., New York? They understand that a good dive bar should be a little dark, a little dirty and have at least one regular who makes you wonder if he's legally allowed to leave the state. He's not.

A dive bar should not have a social media strategy.

Corner stores

I used to think corner stores were a figment of my '90s-kid imagination — until I realized, no. They're still around. Just not in Vancouver.

Why? Probably because Vancouver is overdeveloped and every square inch of free land is being turned into a white-box condo that rents for $2,150 a month.

Corner stores are the backbone of this nation. Montreal gets it. Toronto gets it. I'd even argue Thunder Bay has better corner stores than Vancouver.

Architecture

Oof. This one is a big one for me... if not the biggest one.

I am a hobbyist urban planner. By which I mean I know absolutely nothing about urban planning, but I'd still like to backseat drive on a tandem bike.

People are always saying Vancouver is "the most beautiful city in the world," and sure — the LANDSCAPE is beautiful. The mountains are beautiful. The ocean is beautiful.

God did an incredible job with Vancouver.

Developers have been trying to undo it ever since.

We've bulldozed so much of the city's character and replaced it with the ugliest green-glass towers imaginable, all in this bizarre pursuit of making Vancouver feel “luxury.” Why?! Vancouver shouldn't be bougie. It should be Craftsman houses, old brick buildings, tiny storefronts and slightly grungy '90s Seattle energy. Nothing should be taller than three storeys, and I should feel like I'm about to run into Kurt Cobain.

Instead, we keep demolishing anything with a little character to build some view-blocking monstrosity — and instead of running into Kurt Cobain, I'm running into a guy named Connor who works for his dad in real estate development.

A scene — or just some institutions

Vancouver has artists. What I'm less convinced of is the art scene. And honestly, you could replace "art" with almost anything. Film scene. Fashion scene. Literary scene. Pick a scene! I just want one!

I think part of the problem is that nothing in Vancouver gets to become an institution. Everything is perpetually one redevelopment away from becoming condos.

There's a shocking lack of places that feel old. Places where something happened before you got there. And when we do have one, we cling to it for dear life. Look at the Rio Theatre. Vancouverites talk about the Rio like it's Notre-Dame — because, culturally, what else do we have?

That's what I love about Montreal, New York, London, and even parts of L.A. You can walk into a bar, theatre, restaurant, bookstore or gallery that's been there longer than you've been alive. There's history under whatever is happening there now.

A great city needs new things, obviously. But it also needs places that survive long enough to become something people would actually miss.

Vancouver keeps trying to become a world-class city while bulldozing the exact things that might eventually make it one.

Characters

Every great city needs these people. Vancouver doesn't have enough of them.

And I'm not talking about the guy-screaming-on-the-bus sense. But also — slay. I mean characters. People who have committed so hard to some completely inexplicable personal aesthetic or lifestyle that you need to know their entire life story.

New York obviously has them. L.A. is essentially a sanctuary for them. Montreal has the 73-year-old woman smoking outside a café at 11 a.m. in a fur coat who somehow has three boyfriends (and they are all 35 years younger than her).

Van? Not so much.