A Couple Sparked A Major Wedding Debate About Gifts & Whether A Plus-One Means You Give More

Should wedding guests feel obligated to give a bigger gift if they're bringing a date to a wedding? And is that even a thing the bride and groom should be talking about?

One very annoyed future bride just got roasted on Reddit for suggesting exactly that after arguing that wedding guests should give a gift that's worth double the value if they insist on bringing a plus-one.

The Reddit user shared their take in Reddit's Am I the A**hole (AITA) community and sparked plenty of debate with the idea.

In the now-deleted post, the original poster explained that they, along with their fiancé, were trying to keep the wedding child-free but made an exception for family members with "grown/grown-ish children.”

“As soon as we sent out our save the dates, my cousin texts me to ask for a plus one for her daughter in college,” read the post. “I explained that we aren’t doing plus ones, especially if we have never met the 'significant other,' and she pushed back.”

After some back and forth, the bride decided “it wasn’t worth starting a family feud over” and caved to the cousin's request.

“Fast forward to now, we have sent our invitations and registry info. My cousin immediately bought one of the cheaper things on the registry and put it down as being from the whole family (now 5 people),” the bride explained.

The Reddit user acknowledges that in addition to the wedding gift, their cousin and her husband were also paying for the cost of all their children to attend the wedding and also their daughter’s boyfriend.

However, the whole thing still didn’t sit right with the Reddit user.

“If their daughters bf coming hadn’t been such an issue I wouldn’t have thought twice about a smaller family gift, but it feels like if they’re able to help pay for him to come (flight + hotel needed since they’re out of town), they could have just spent that on a nicer gift instead of bringing someone I don’t know or care to have at my wedding,” wrote the bride.

The user also acknowledged that they can never be so sure about someone's finances and aren’t necessarily looking for gifts but still can’t help but feel like they could have handled the situation better.

“Having given her son a plus one I expected that they’d do a nicer gift as a family, or the daughter and her bf would do a smaller gift on their own as a gesture…it’s less about the money and more that it doesn’t feel like there is any actual gratitude for the extra invite,” continued the post.

“I feel like a brat even writing this post, but something about all this is rubbing me the wrong way. AITA for wanting a little more?”

People in the comments were split over who to blame: the couple or everybody involved.

One person suggested that everyone sucks here: "Them for inviting along a guest you didn't care about and pushing you to accept it, you for being greedy about the gift.”

Another person called out the bride. “You caved and told them they can bring another guest but now you are salty about them bringing another guest. Don’t say it’s not about the money because it IS about the money (which I totally get, but don’t lie about it).”

Others thought they were definitely the a**hole.

“You are being entitled,” wrote one user. "Sure, you can have rules as to who comes to your wedding, but you can’t expect certain gifts from guests.

“Just have fun at your wedding and don’t be petty over gifts. I don’t necessarily blame you for being annoyed, but it’s such a small and unnecessary hill to die on,” continued the comment.

"An invite is not an invoice," wrote another.

Meanwhile, others argued it was a reasonable response.

“It's a perfectly normal reaction to be annoyed by what cousin did,” read one person's comment. "You'd be the (a**hole) if you acted on those thoughts and demanded a bigger gift or uninvited them. However, since these are just internalized thoughts and you haven't actually done anything.”

It seems people are torn on the topic and aren’t sure if expecting a bigger gift is the a**hole move in this case.