If only he did a bit more research.
This Review article is part of a Narcity Media series. The views expressed are the author's own and do not necessarily reflect the views of Narcity Media.
In the new hit Netflix movie The Man From Toronto, we are promised a whole lot of Toronto that we don't actually see.
Starring Kevin Hart and Woody Harelson, the movie follows a gym employee who accidentally wanders into the wrong vacation cabin and is mistaken for "The Man From Toronto."
Who is The Man From Toronto? Well, he's a skilled assassin famous in the criminal underground for his talents and cruelty and he's played by the American actor Woody Harrelson.
And, if you're thinking of checking out the flick to see if there are any fun Toronto easter eggs for anyone from the 6ix, you just might be sorely disappointed.
While the movie says the character is from Toronto, there are a ton of things in the new movie that show the eponymous man is as Toronto as the Eiffel Tower.
The way he says "Toronto"
This has been remarked upon before, but Harrelson really does say "Toronto" incorrectly in the movie.
He commits the sin of pronouncing the second T, instead of just saying "Toronno" like a local.
This wouldn't be that bad if a bunch of the non-starring actors, who are presumably Canadians playing Americans, didn't actually pronounce it the correct way.
As a Toronto resident, it's super confusing when the only people saying it how a Torontonian would say it, are characters from places like Washington, D.C., or Puerto Rico.
He doesn't recognize any Toronto landmarks
With the movie being filmed — but not set in — Toronto, there are a ton of 6ix locations that are dressed up to look like places in the U.S. and Central America.
And that makes you think, wouldn't the Man From Toronto recognize that he's driving underneath something that looks almost exactly like the Gardiner Expressway?
Or that the Puerto Rican market he's at looks a lot like Sunnyside Pavillion?
Maybe he was distracted, or maybe his Toronto bonafides are not actually that strong.
He's actually not really from Toronto in the movie
As per the movie's own admission, he's actually not really from Toronto.
In the film, the character talks about growing up 50 miles — not kilometres — "north of nowhere" on a frozen lake in Canada.
So, we will have to presume that he at one point moved down to the city and then started saying he's "from Toronto."
Which, to be fair, most people from southern Ontario or people who have moved to Toronto end up doing, so fair play to the guy honestly.
His tastes aren't very Toronto
While it's not expected for Harrelson's character to be sucking back Jamaican beef patties and boba tea the entire movie, we'd expect maybe a few Toronto, or even just Canadian, snacks to get a shoutout.
One of the few times the character is seen eating is when he makes some fried durian, but it would have been cool to see him munching on a Tims breakfast.
Maybe some all-dressed or ketchup chips?
A Coffee Crisp?
We're not asking for much over here!
He doesn't once ask "Who's mans is this?"
It's a movie about mistaken identity!
You'd think at least once Harrelson would look Kevin Hart up and down and ask, plainly and Toronto-ly, "Who's mans is this?"
He also doesn't even say "mans" once!
And this guy is apparently "from" Toronto? Based on the way he talks, it makes more sense if he was the man from Texas, which, coincidently, is where Harrelson is from.
There's no Toronto music
This movie boasts a handful of intense action set pieces.
And instead of scoring them to obvious choices like "Joker And The Thief" by Wolfmother, they should have just plopped in a Drake song. If you want us to think about Toronto, that would have been the move.
It doesn't even have to be Drake! There's other music by Toronto artists they could have featured, including Justin Bieber, Pup or, heck, even classic rock band Rush.
A major opportunity missed.
He's able to travel relatively quick
The movie jumps around, from Toronto to Washington to Virginia to Central America.
And, somehow, the Man from Toronto is able to arrive on time.
Presumably, he has a private jet or something, because as anyone in Toronto currently knows, trying to get out of the city in a timely manner by plane is a real struggle.
Where's the four-hour-long version of this movie where the entire film is Harrelson waiting in line for security at Pearson?
Or maybe we can see him slowly inch along the 401 in rush hour?
That would make it seem a bit more authentic to the Toronto man experience.