We Compared KFC In The US Vs. The UK & They Both Totally Sucked For Different Reasons (PHOTOS)

The KFC restaurant

The U.S.: Our KFC location could use a little love. During the pandemic, the storefront shut down completely and it sat empty for several months.

The space definitely needs updating. Out of all the restaurants in my area, this one appears to be one of the most dated. The seating areas are still roped off, and parts of the dining room are seemingly used for storage.

I would opt for just taking a swing through the drive-thru.

The U.K.: Over the last few years, many KFC restaurants in the U.K. have undergone a bit of a revamp and look pretty slick and new.

My local restaurant is one of them, and it's new to the point of being almost clinical.

Inside, the place was pretty modern and clean-looking. However, the restaurant had that strong fried chicken smell, and you could feel the greasy air that often lingers in fast-food joints.

It wasn't bad, but it wasn't good either.

The KFC menu

The U.S.: The American menu offers fast-food spins on traditional Southern cuisine. The menu lists all of the staple foods, such as fried bone-in chicken, mashed potatoes, biscuits, and cole slaw.

While it is consistent with what the chain has offered over the years, it's a little tired and uncreative.

I was a bit jealous to hear that the British store offers vegan options, burgers, and ice cream drinks, while my U.S. location offers none of that.

The U.K.: The KFC menu in the U.K. is pretty consistent with its international counterparts, give or take a few items.

Prices range from just a few pounds for snacks like sweetcorn, gravy, and single pieces of Original Recipe Chicken, up to £21.99 for sharing buckets and family-sized "feasts."

The KFC vibe

The U.S.: I was the only person inside the dining room when I popped in to order my meal.

It was weirdly quiet, except for the conversation between employees, who seemed a little jarred to see a person actually entering the store to order their meal.

While I first intended to enjoy my food inside, it felt odd staying there, and the dining tables were roped off.

This location is definitely more drive-thru oriented.

The U.K.: I visited my local restaurant late-ish on a weekday evening, so I wasn't expecting much in terms of the vibe or atmosphere. There was no music playing and, as the restaurant was near-on empty, little background noise.

The silence, aside from the chewing and finger-licking sounds of a few lone diners, meant the general mood of the place left much to be desired.

This, combined with the unsympathetic, harsh lighting and grey-and-brown color palette made for a pretty sober vibe.

That said, I was just looking for a quick bite, so Michelin-star-level ambiance was not necessarily a requirement.

The KFC service

The U.S.: The food arrived quickly, but the employees did seem a little weirded out that I opted to walk in to place my food order rather than pull up to the drive-up window.

The space was very dead and there was only one other car in the drive-thru, so it took very little time to receive my meal.

The workers were friendly but still apathetic, a combo I find comforting in food service employees.

The U.K.: The service was quick and the employees were relatively polite. There's no tipping culture in the U.K. when it comes to fast food, so there's little expectation on either side.

Overall, I received what I ordered in a timely manner, so there was nothing to complain about.

The KFC order

The U.S.: I ordered a three-piece bone-in chicken meal with french fries, a biscuit, and a large drink. I also got the spicy chicken sandwich, a large strawberry lemonade, and a half-gallon bag of diet coke.

We don't have any burgers or frozen ice cream drinks at our location which is disappointing. I got the original recipe chicken instead of the extra-crispy option, which I would later come to regret.

The U.K.: In the interest of comparing different menu items, I ordered the Zinger Burger meal (medium), which is a "simple, succulent 100% chicken breast Fillet burger, plus spine-tingling Zing." I got it with fries and a large drink.

The Zinger Burger meal is also available as a "Tower Meal," which includes a hash-brown, cheese, and "fiery salsa." Call me a prude, but this perverse combination was too much for me to try, so I skipped it in lieu of the basic option.

Because my order looked a bit flat, I jazzed it up a little with some Kansas BBQ Bites and an Oreo Biscuit Krushem — both of which I regretted almost instantly.

For comparison purposes, I also ordered one sad, lonely Mini Fillet.

The KFC food

The U.S.: KFC's food consistently disappoints me. They claim to use a secret blend of 11 herbs and spices, but the only thing I could pick up on was grease and salt.

The chicken was overwhelmingly greasy and soggy, yet the meat itself managed to be dry and excessively chewy.

The fries were limp and grease-ladened. The texture was almost sponge-like. The biscuit instantly dried my mouth out but still managed to leave a shiny coat of film behind.

The spicy chicken sandwich wasn't horribly offensive but was ultimately overwhelming. The "heat" was more of a chemical-type burn than a flavorful sensation. I was envious of the U.K.'s sesame-seeded bun, which I think could have added to the experience.

Overall, the provisions left much to be desired.

The U.K.: Even by British standards, the portions involved in my meal were pretty small, although that was ultimately no bad thing.

To be fair to the Colonel, the Zinger burger was pretty good. The chicken tasted like they'd used the good parts and there was a fiery aftertaste that is good for those who like a little spice, without going hot hot.

The fries tasted surprisingly healthy, as though they were missing buckets of salt. While this wasn't unpleasant, it did mean they didn't necessarily hit the spot in terms of "junk food." When I researched this later, I realized this was, in fact, because British KFC fries come unsalted.

Perhaps the worst part of the order was the BBQ Kansas Bites, which, as far as I'm concerned, should have stayed in Kansas. The chicken bites were drowning in the thick, gloopy, uber-sweet BBQ sauce. Rescuing the deep-fried chunks from the dark, treacly sauce felt like a kindness to them.

The Mini Fillet looked a little limp and sad and was somehow greasy and dry at the same time. I didn't hate it, but it definitely made me feel a little worse about myself.

The best thing about this meal, perhaps comparatively to its American counterpart, is that I didn't have to eat as much of it.

The KFC drinks

The U.S.: The most fun part of KFC's drink options was that I managed to get a half-gallon bag of Diet Coke, which felt weird but comical.

KFC sells fountain drinks and teas in giant screw-top bags, which feel more reminiscent of an IV drip bag than a soda vessel. While it isn't the most practical drink container (the Diet Coke lost its carbonation pretty quickly), it is fun and almost campy.

I was disappointed that the U.K. offers ice cream drinks and my Southern location did not.

However, I did try the Colonel's strawberry lemonade, which was fun. It was overly sweet but still good for hot weather. The strawberry flavor was very artificial, which is to be expected from fast food joints, but the acidity of the lemon balanced it out.

The U.K.: After eating so much fried chicken, I was hoping for a sweet revive with my Oreo Krushem drink.

If you like super sugary, ice-creamy drinks, this will likely do it for you. If I hadn't already eaten so much probably-bad-for-you stuff, it might have been pretty nice, actually.

However, combined with everything else, it was just a little too much. Again though, it was pretty small, so that was something.

That said, the large-sized Pepsi Max I got with my Zinger Burger meal was fizzy and reassuring. Like a hug after a long day, sometimes you really can't go wrong, right?

I really wish it came in an IV drip bag, though.

The KFC overall experience

The U.S.: Overall, I think KFC is a massive waste of potential. Being from the Southern U.S. makes me the first to admit I have decently high standards for fried chicken and accompaniments, but the Colonel left much to be desired.

KFC has managed to master the art of making everything it touches oily and salty. While it is cheap, it is deeply unsatisfying, and the stomach ache I got after was not worth the experience of eating the food.

At the end of the day, I prefer local chicken shops or even Popeye's if I am in a rush. If KFC's recipe really does use 11 secret herbs and spices, maybe their secret isn't worth keeping.

The U.K.: Like its American counterpart, KFC in the U.K. has so much to offer but falls short at almost every hurdle.

From unsalted fries (I mean, who asked for that?!) to miserable portions and chaotic, clinical lighting in restaurants, there's just a lot going wrong.

In between the deep-fried matter and the overly-sweet everything-else, some tasty snacks had the potential to be really good — namely the Zinger Burger.

Ultimately, if the food was really good, you might forgive the hellish atmosphere, uninterested employees, and miserable feeling you have once you've finished eating.

But, it isn't. Sorry, Colonel.