I Watched 'Indian Matchmaking' With My Desi Mom & We Had Totally Different Takes On It

There are few Netflix shows that I can watch with my very Muslim brown mom and Indian Matchmaking is one of them, so we sat down together to try it during a weekend visit.

In hindsight, it was definitely a bad idea.

I'm a 24-year-old unmarried woman and that's already a source of great disappointment for my parents, so you can imagine how a show about marriage would only pour gasoline on that fire.

In fact, there was even a moment when Mom used the show to teach me a "lesson."

"If you don't learn from these girls, you too will need to turn to a matchmaker in your 30s to find a husband," she said.

Yep. She really did not hold back with that one.

"I've been walking this Earth for 50 years, Sameen; I no longer care if my opinions are a bit much," she said. (They definitely are.)

As the show progressed, I found myself disagreeing more and more with host Aunty Sima and her antics.

Unsurprisingly, Mom and I had plenty of things to argue over as we took in all the matching of Season 2.

First point of contention: The chicken guy (AKA Akshay)

I'm a big city girl through and through, so the idea of moving to a small town, even if it's for the perfect guy, makes me panic.

I expressed that thought to my mother and, without hesitation, she told me I only think that way because I'm a "pagal insaan," which literally translates to "stupid human."

"If he's well educated, comes from money, has good habits, is a hard worker, then there's nothing wrong with moving to a small town like Nashik," according to my mom. "It's not even that far from Mumbai; stop being dramatic."

Then she used her marriage story against me.

"I moved with your dad to Doha, Qatar, from Lahore in the '90s when it was literally nothing but a desert plain. There was only one small shopping centre in the entire city, and I made it work, and see, we're still happily married 35 years later."

Facts! I couldn't even argue with her on that point.

Second point of contention: Can a girl marry a guy younger than her?

Mom is with Aunty Sima on this question, and her answer is "absolutely not."

"If someone is seven years younger than you, he'll entertain you for the time being, but if you think it will last, then you're wrong," she said.

According to my mom, If Nadia found a 26-year-old guy attractive at 33, then who's to say he won't also find a 26-year-old girl attractive when he's 33 and she's hitting 40?

I countered her by saying that it's about the lived experience with the person that makes you stay with them and not the attraction. So even if Vishal is younger and eventually Nadia turns 40, he won't look to other people because no one can replicate the experiences Nadia has provided for him over the years.

Spoiler alert: Vishal ends up dumping Nadia, and you can just image the big smirk that came over my mom's face when it happened.

Unfortunately, even Priyanka Chopra and Nick Jonas weren't safe from my mom's critiques.

"It's a mismatch, but only time will tell," she said.

If you think that was cynical, then wait until you hear how she dragged my girl Nadia on the show.

"Nick Jonas is probably punching the air that he's married to former Miss World," my mom said.

"She's also loaded, so she doesn't need his money and vice versa. They are in the same industry; their thoughts, lifestyle and everything is an exceptional case," she continued. "Now this girl isn't even Miss World, so what the hell does (Nadia) think she's doing comparing herself to her?"

“Nadia is also a 'pagal insaan,' for leaving Shekar. What a good boy he was."

My apologies to Nadia for my mother's savagery. If it helps, my mom is putting us in the same group.

Third point of contention: Can a guy marry a girl younger than him?

My mom thinks yes.

According to my mom, women are more mature than men. She says that's why younger women can find love with older men, but younger men don't work with older women.

She also shot down all my arguments about it, and again played the marriage card.

"Your dad and I have a fairly large age gap, but we just celebrated 35 years of marriage," she said.

"There. Proved you wrong. Next question."

I could go on, but I don't think my ego can handle it.

You can catch the first two seasons of Indian Matchmaking for yourself on Netflix — but just be careful about who you watch it with!

The opinions expressed in this article are the author's own and do not necessarily reflect the views of Narcity Media.