A Bride Is Springing A 'No Alcohol' Rule On Wedding Guests & Her Secrecy Has People Outraged
"I wasn't giving a reason, there's just no alcohol.”
Various drinks are served to wedding guests.
Dry weddings are common in some cultures and there’s nothing wrong with going alcohol-free on your big day, but how do you think guests would feel if they expected booze at the reception and discovered only mocktails at the bar?
One bride has sparked some major backlash on Reddit over her dry wedding tactics, after revealing that she knowingly left out the “no alcohol” rule on her wedding invites. The woman also suggested that people in her community expect alcohol at weddings, but she failed to mention it so that they wouldn't bring their own.
The bride confessed to her deception in Reddit’s AmITheA**hole community, where people are blasting her more for the secrecy than for her dry wedding decision.
“We sent the invites out in January and made no mention of the fact we won't be serving alcohol at the wedding, but we won’t,” she wrote. “We will only be serving non-alcoholic options and there won't be any available for people to buy at the 'bar’.”
She explained that she’s a “recovering alcoholic” with over 4 years of sobriety, and she will typically “lie” in social situations and claim that alcohol makes her sick.
“I just don't want people to know about my sobriety, it's none of their business. Only my best friends and immediate family know (and my fiance obviously).”
She goes on to say that she kept the “dry” detail secret from everyone except her closest circle, although she recently let it slip to some acquaintances at her fiancé James’ birthday, which was at a bar.
“They were pretty incredulous. Especially as James' birthday was not alcohol free,” she wrote. “They asked why and I said I wasn't giving a reason, there's just no alcohol.” She added that they asked if she was pregnant and she said no.
“I was called a buzzkill and told that people go to weddings to drink,” she went on. “One of James' friends said being honest about it was the least I could do and it was wrong of me not to at least explain myself.”
She says she got increasingly mad about the whole thing and eventually left after making some rude comments to James' friends.
The bride-to-be ended up getting absolutely blasted in the comments, with many people tearing into her for being so misleading.
“If you live in a country where weddings and people usually drink then people can reasonably expect there to be alcohol and should be informed otherwise,” read the top comment.
“Cultural norms are cultural norms,” said another. “ It doesn't mean you're necessarily a bad host if you don't, but you should let your guests know.”
Some people were sympathetic about her sobriety, although they pointed out that pushing it on others is a bad way to keep it secret.
“I don't think (the bride) is an asshole but she's really setting herself up for disaster here,” reads one comment.
“I'm sad for you that you're so ashamed of being an alcoholic,” wrote another. “It's not something to be ashamed of- it's an illness- and congratulations on your recovery.”
A few mentioned that people factor the cost of alcohol in when choosing a wedding gift, so it's good to let them know that they're attending a dry reception.
Several people said they’ve been to dry weddings where the couple simply doesn’t drink or there’s close family in recovery and the guests have been totally fine with it — although honestly makes a big difference.
The bride jumped back in and initially defended herself, saying that they kept the rule a secret so people wouldn’t bring their own booze and potentially cost them a corking fee.
Nevertheless, her actions earned her the "a**hole" label in Reddit's eyes.
Later, she admitted that Reddit wore her down and she's planning to send a mass email informing everyone about the rule.
“That's probably better than lying any more seeing as the lie never made much sense anyway.”
If you or someone you know is struggling with alcohol or substance use, help and additional resources are available. If you need immediate assistance, please call 911 or go to your nearest hospital.
This article's cover image was used for illustrative purposes only.