The views expressed in this Opinion article are the author’s own and do not necessarily reflect the views of Narcity Media.
There is a certain pleasant feeling one gets when ordering a pizza on gameday or during a lazy night in and having it delivered right to your doorstep that has Americans completely bewitched.
The United States is full of oh-so-many pizza chains that everyone has come to know and love over the years — I’m talking Papa John's, Pizza Hut, and Domino's, and I'm on a mission to settle on which one is the best.
I think I'm qualified to make this decision because I come from a family where each member had their own favorite of the three, except for me, who always remained "Switzerland" when it came to those Friday night decisions.
As Super Bowl 2023 nears, pizza discussions are in full swing in my fam, so I decided to help decide for us this year by ranking the country's biggest names.
The Criteria
I ordered a basic hand-tossed pepperoni pizza with zero modifications — sized small because that's all the sauce and cheese I could take!
I then tasted one slice from each spot based on a few key factors: the crust texture, the general robust flavor, and the overall quality.
Following my tastings, I ranked the three places from best to worst pizzas.
Pizza Hut
Slices of pepperoni pizza in a box.
Brittany Cristiano | Narcity
Price: $8.99
The Verdict: Pizza Hut, you really did try. To me, though, you are the worst in this ranking.
Firstly, you sent me this pie that looks like it's been sloshed together on the ride over. I understand. Things happen, especially on Texas roads.
Then, half of the cheese fell off the slice during my first bite, which is a pet peeve of mine. I also didn't appreciate the crust, as it was a bit too thick and doughy for my liking.
But my main argument is with just how tasteless it was. The sauce tasted like what "tomato extract" would if that existed. This means that the pizza literally only tasted like a plain vegetable instead of a blend of Italian flavors you’d normally find.
I will give them credit, as they had the tastiest pepperoni of the three, but not enough to change my mind.
Their slogan once said: "No one Outpizzas the Hut," but I think everyone did in this list.
Papa John's Pizza
Slices of pepperoni pizza and a pepper in a box.
Brittany Cristiano | Narcity
Price: $10.99
The Verdict: At least this one arrived in one circular pie!
I ranked Papa John's second because it really reminded me of Pizza Hut's as it instead has a little bit more of an "oomph" to it.
I can't put my finger on the taste, but there's just something so familiar about Papa John's blend flavors in the sauce and cheese it comforts me to eat.
However, their crust is much too thick, which means I was honestly filled after two small slices, and it made me feel bloated like a balloon.
All in all, this pizza is an ol' reliable because I know if I order from the Papa, I'll get something good, but not the best!
Domino's Pizza
A hand holding a slice of pepperoni pizza. Right: Slices of pepperoni pizza in a box.
Brittany Cristiano | Narcity
Price: $11.24
The Verdict: While Domino's doesn't claim to make authentic Italian pies, I think out of the options I ranked, this is the closest you could get to taste an Italian one!
The pie is so vibrant looking that it shines like a bright pillar of our society the moment you open the box.
The hand-tossed crust is a subtle mix of crunch and fluff, and the lightly dusted, buttery garlic seasoning mixed just melts in your mouth. The sauce also has a slight bite to it, indicating there are actually spices mixed in.
I have yet to find a basic pizza from a national chain that is quite as flavorful as Domino's, which is why it earned the #1 spot on this list and in my Pizza-loving heart.
In Conclusion
Now, every time my family or partner has an argument about where to get our pizza, I can just pull this article up as proof of why it should never be Pizza Hut or how I'll settle for Papa John's, but what I really want is Domino's.
I was surprised Pizza Hut tasted so poorly for how many "Hut lovers" exist in my life. I'm not sure how anyone could claim it's their favorite compared to the other two.
I hope you, too, can use this to further back up any of your future pizza chain decisions you have to defend.
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