Lazing on a hammock at Atlantis Paradise Island Bahamas. Right: Taking a stroll through the Marina Village
This Review article is part of a Narcity Media series. The views expressed are the author's own and do not necessarily reflect the views of Narcity Media.
The Atlantis Paradise Island Bahamas, located in Nassau, is a resort that is a magnificent ode to opulence that everyone should visit while travelling in the Bahamas at least once. I did while on vacation and I did not regret it.
It's the sort of place where high rollers have their trophy wives blow gold dust on their unlucky dice, seconds before tossing them onto a craps table to lose hundreds of thousands of dollars; Towers of “big baller” energy where, after losing said hundreds of thousands of dollars in the casino, high rollers then escort their trophy wives down the hall to the Rolex shop — to give their accountants time to liquidate one of several penthouse condos of course — and then just continue playing.
This is part of the experience, for those of us who can afford it, of staying in one of the most lauded and well-known luxury resorts in the Bahamas. To be a fly on the wall is a study of human folly, greed and waste. It’s also part of the fun apparently, and depending on which hotel you’re in, you can even throw yourself into a shark tank after burning through your rent at a demon-possessed slot machine.
But there’s more on offer, besides the potential for financial ruin or riches. The hotel is actually, dare I say it, a fun way to spend the day for several reasons — if you can afford it.
Serene beach views at Atlantis Paradise Island Resort in the Bahamas.Byron Armstrong | Narcity
1. The beaches are beautiful but exclusive
You likely know the story of the ancient city of human splendour that sank into the ocean (no, I’m not talking about Vancouver). Atlantis is the name you’re looking for, and this hotel lives up to its legend with a plethora of underwater activities and exhibits. The most obvious of activities involve sunning and bathing in one of Atlantis’ two beautiful “private” beaches because I guess nobody wants to share the ocean with the common people. On an island surrounded by water, this natural resource is free almost everywhere but here.
2. Swimming with sharks is cool, I guess?
Circling back to the shark tank option, you could take a “shark walk” for about the same price as a day pass, where, according to the Atlantis website, guests will be able to walk on the bottom of the Shark Exhibit and find themselves "nose-to-nose with the guardians of the lost world of Atlantis.”
I have nothing against sharks, but if this is an option for you on vacation, you probably have too much money…in which case, Atlantis is perfect.
Glowing jellyfish at the Marine Exhibits aquarium in Atlantis Paradise Island Bahamas.Byron Armstrong | Narcity
3. How many hotels can boast an underground aquarium? I’ll wait.
Aside from the pool and beach, the least expensive thing you can do involving water and underwater life is a walk through the Marine Exhibits, a glass-enclosed, cavelike underground trail that is effectively an awesome aquarium. I took this walk personally because, as I said, it’s the least expensive thing you can do involving water. However, as long as you aren’t claustrophobic, it can also be the most “free” fun you can have there.
The Marina Village at night on the grounds of Atlantis Paradise Island Bahamas.Byron Armstrong | Narcity
4. The Marina Village is an adult playground with yachts
Atlantis has a monstrous 153 acres of property, and traversing all of that will undoubtedly leave you a little peckish or thirsty. The Marina Village is a collection of bars and restaurants where you can get all manner of food and drinks.
Aside from people watching on the patio, you can also take stock of all the billionaire yachts docked in the marina. Colossal ships with helipads (for when the commoners finally have an uprising), with names like “Sexy Beast” written onto the side of the yachts give off an air of “look at me.”
I’m eating pizza on a patio. Your servants are setting the table on the front deck of your 100-foot yacht for your five-course, personal-chef-prepared dinner with armed security.
Of course, I’m looking at you.
People watching at Atlantis Paradise Island's casino in Nassau, Bahamas.Byron Armstrong | Narcity
5. The casino is a great place to win, lose, or just people watch
The casino is a dream maker or taker depending on what side of the poker hand you fall. Regardless, just walking through it can be an experience all its own. Safer than risking it all, I preferred to take a spot at a random bar inside the casino and watch other people win money and promptly give it back in the next round. The people who can afford to lose walk their slightly smaller bag of money over to another table. The people who can’t end up joining me at the bar, using their last chip to buy bottom-shelf whiskey. People watching is so fun. Am I right?
So, does Atlantis live up to its name?
It absolutely does.
As an ocean-themed mega-resort based on a mythical civilization, Atlantis scores. Even better, to experience all the hotel has to offer, you just need to be a guest (minimum two-night stay), which will run you anywhere from $350 to $775 per night. Alternatively, you can purchase a day pass, which will set you back by just $135 per person for the day. As long as you stay out of the casino, you should be alright.
Otherwise, your finances may join the mythical city of Atlantis underwater, and it’s highly unlikely you’ve got a yacht to help keep you afloat.
