A Canadian Mom Shared Her 'Parenting Fail' After A Birds & Bees Talk Went Hilariously Wrong

A Canadian mom's story about having the sex talk with her kid recently went viral and it's an equal mix of funny and painful.

TikToker and podcast host Brittany Ostofe, who posts "unfiltered motherhood & sarcasm in stories," shared a hilarious summary of what she called a "parenting fail."

"My nine-year-old daughter came home from school and asked me if I knew what 69 was," Ostofe said. "So naturally, I was like, that's the number before 70."

Unfortunately for Ostofe, her little one was not happy with that explanation.

"She said, 'Mom, no, it's not,'" Ostofe recounted. "I was like, 'Okay then what is it?' and she was like, 'I already know, do you know?' I'm like, 'Yeah, I do know.'"

After a bit of back and forth, the mom explained to her daughter that she does know what it is as she's an adult and asked her daughter to explain what she thought the term meant so she could either confirm or deny it.

"She was like, 'Well, I heard it's when a boy and a girl are together. And they're trying to have a baby,'" her daughter told her.

Ostofe explained to her daughter that "69 can lead to that" before realizing she'd have to give more details.

"So I'm panicking," she said. "And I could fill an entire swimming pool with the sweat coming off from my upper lip."

Ostofe said that she knows at at some point, her daughter is going to hear about sex from someone or another, so she decided to try to explain the act by using a cooking analogy.

"You know when you're cooking a meal, and there's like prep time and cook time? Where in prep, you're like chopping the veggies, and like, cook time is like getting to the main meal, the main deed?" Ostofe said as an attempt to explain foreplay versus intercourse.

It wasn't going well with the nine-year-old.

"She's sitting there trying to process the most f*cked up analogy I could have given her," the mom said of her attempt at a sex talk. "What is this, Top Chef Canada?"

Undeterred, Ostofe continued with the analogy, explaining that only adults are allowed to prep and cook and that since her daughter is young, she doesn't need to worry about it.

"She was like, 'Well, daddy doesn't really help make dinner. He doesn't prep the food. He just comes and eats," her daughter said, which made the youngster question his role in the whole baby-making process.

With the conversation officially off the rails, Ostofe shut the whole thing down.

"I just said, 'Cooking is not for you, take up another hobby,'" the mom said in conclusion.

With almost 20 million views and over two million likes since she posted the TikTok on May 1, it's safe to say people are relating to Ostofe's hilarious "fail."

"The upper lip sweat is real lol," one person commented. "This made my day."

"My kid is 6. Are you telling me I only have 3 years to prepare for this?!?!?!?!" said another.

"That was confusing for me towards the end too... lol," one user said of Ostofe's analogy gone wrong.

While Ostofe might think the talk was a fail, at least she tried!

This article's cover image was used for illustrative purposes only.