The opinions expressed in this article are the author's own and do not necessarily reflect the views of Narcity Media.
In my opinion, there are only two kinds of people in this world. Those who enjoyed P.E. and those who didn't. I am, obviously, the latter. This may make you stop and wonder, how much can I trust this woman's opinion on the six best hikes in Vancouver? Just wait. It's always a long story with me, and I'm getting there.
It should come as no surprise that, as a writer, I was an indoor kid. I would hide in the bathroom at recess because I just did not want to weather the elements (sunshine).
It's not that I didn't want to be athletic. Those kids were always popular. If you could sprint the 100-metre dash in under 15 seconds in elementary school, you could rest easy that you had arrived. But I'm Italian, and my resting heart rate was 150 beats per pizza, so there was no way I was passing the "beep test" with flying colours.
Fast-forward 15 years, and I'm sober. I had a boyfriend who was a real outdoorsman—the kind who preferred to roll down the windows instead of crank the AC. For some reason, he thought a fun way to get my mind off doing an illegal keg stand in the Kits Beach parking lot would be to go for a scenic 6 a.m. jog.
Retrospectively, it was never going to work, and I wish I'd known that. If only so I never had to hike Vancouver's iconic Stawamus Chief Trail with him. I'm not exaggerating when I say we almost broke up at the sixth set of stairs. And honestly, I wish we did. Because then I could have avoided what happened next.
The Chief is very interactive. There's a point where you have to literally scale a rock wall. There's a 50-foot drop and a suspiciously insecure rope we're all meant to cling to for dear life with a smile—because, yay, hiking!
At one point during the "trail," we all had to single-file like mountain goats up this wall, and I felt like I was climbing a stairway to hell. Behind me was a nursing mother of two who will never be able to unsee the things she's seen. This is a burden I must carry with me.
Honestly, the worst part of any hike is that there's always some guy who's 90 years old in a wheelchair lapping you. It's like, OK, old man. You stormed the beaches of Normandy. Thanks for serving our country, but you don't need to show off. (I'm so kidding; I ride at dawn for our veterans.)
After my harrowing Chief experience, I concluded that the problem wasn't me (or my dangerously high BMI). It was nature. It sucked. And I wanted nothing to do with it. But I was wrong! Because I later found out "hike" isn't actually code for "living hell."
Turns out: hikes can actually just be beautiful walks in nature that don't require you to go into cardiac arrest! So here's a list of some of my favourite spots to hike near Vancouver that won't require you to break a sweat.
Although, for what it's worth, if the Chief or the Grouse Grind had an escalator and a Jugo Juice, I'd be in.
Pacific Spirit Park
Where: Pacific Spirit Regional Park, 5495 Chancellor Blvd., Vancouver, BC
Length: There are over 15 different trails to choose from
Difficulty: 🌲
Verdict: Get in by sunrise, get out by sunset
The best part about Pacific Spirit Park is that it's flat. The worst part is that driving down Imperial Dr. at night makes me feel like a man will run into the road covered in blood and ask me to pull over to help, only to put a gun to my head and tell me to get on the ground. These are the visions I have. I am a victim of Forensic Files and Criminal Minds.
However, I am a paranoid person with an overactive imagination. So it's safe to say you will (probably) not relive these horror movie scenes I've created in my mind. At worst, you'll hit a deer in the dead of night.
I'm not sure what a regular review of Pacific Spirit Park is, but it's where I'd go if I was catching up with an old friend over coffee. The friend would have to be someone wearing a North Face puffer vest in earnest.
If I had a big dog, I'd go there. I don't know why, but Pacific Spirit Park doesn't feel like a small dog place. Maybe that's because one of my friends lost her chihuahua there for 16 days. She kept posting flyers and we all secretly thought...maybe it's time to call it? But we were wrong. Because somehow, this dog was like Tom Hanks in Castaway and managed to survive.
Quarry Rock
Where: Quarry Rock Lookout From Deep Cove, 2400 Panorama Dr., North Vancouver, BC
Distance: 3.8 km round-trip
Elevation: 100 m
Estimated Time: 1h 30m
Difficulty: 🌲🌲
Verdict: For every 100 steps you take reward yourself with a donut
I like Quarry Rock because it's right next to Honey's Doughnuts. Donuts aside, Quarry Rock is a beautiful, easy hike in one of my favourite parts of town. I love North Van. I love Deep Cove. Every time I go there, I remember what people mean when they say B.C. is so beautiful. And then I go to Granville Street on a Friday night and instantly forget it.
For guys, this is a great third date that shows you're not a himbo. It's an easy trail with many stairs and scenic views, and it's crowded enough that she won't feel like you're taking her to a remote location to hide the evidence. If this is not your plan, take her to Pacific Spirit Park after dusk.
Whyte Lake
Where: Whyte Lake Park, Westport Rd., West Vancouver, BC
Trail: Nelson Creek Trail
Distance: 3.7 km round-trip
Elevation: 180 m
Estimated Time: 1h 15m
Difficulty: 🌲🌲
Whyte Lake is a hidden gem in West Vancouver. The trail is lush and green, and the lake at the end is perfect for a refreshing dip. It's an easy hike, with a gradual incline that won't leave you gasping for breath.
There are a few trails the park has to offer but the Whyte Lake via Nelson Creek Trail is one of the most popular hikes on the North Shore.
Jug Island
Where: Jug Island Beach, Belcarra Regional Park, Port Moody, BC
Distance: 5.5 km round-trip
Elevation: 100 m
Estimated Time: 2h 05m
Difficulty: 🌲🌲
Jug Island Beach is a delightful, moderate hike in Belcarra Regional Park. The trail takes you through dense forest and ends at a secluded beach with stunning views of Indian Arm. The only downside, much like Alcatraz, you can't actually go to the island unless you have some sort of impromptu float device you've fashioned that you plan to take out to the open seas.
Brandywine Falls
Where: Brandywine Falls Provincial Park, Whistler, BC
Length: 1 km round-trip
Elevation: Minimal
Estimated Time: 0h 30m
Difficulty: 🌲
Verdict: Somewhere a local photographer would travel to do a Hawaii-themed photo shoot
Brandywine Falls is more of a walk than a hike, but the waterfall at the end is absolutely worth it. Located just off the Sea-to-Sky Highway, it's an easy stop on your way to Whistler.
This destination is great for couples having their indie movie moment. The falls are breathtaking, and the walk is short and sweet. I dare the manic pixie dream girls to go swimming and ask for a "hand up" and then really pull your crush down into the water.
Cabin Lake
Where: Cabin Lake, West Vancouver, BC
Distance: 5 km
Elevation: 344 m
Estimated Time: 2h 3m
Difficulty: 🌲🌲
Cabin Lake, located in Cypress Provincial Park, offers a moderate hike with a rewarding swim at the end. The trail is well-marked and takes you through beautiful alpine terrain.
I won't lie, I've actually never been here personally. But I've heard really good things from my friend who's done The Iron Man as many times as I've rewatched Friends. So please give the trail a whirl, and get back to me in the comment sections and tell me if I did good.
Before you get going, check out our Responsible Travel Guide so you can be informed, be safe, be smart, and most of all, be respectful on your adventure.
