Here's a cliché for you: I used to work out all the time when I was single.
I didn't live at my local GoodLife Fitness like a true gym rat, but I was there frequently enough to witness plenty of annoying people doing thoughtless things.
The Liberty Village GoodLife in Toronto was my home away from home for a solid two years, and I made a bunch of painful but worthwhile gains during my time there.
However, I'm not writing this article as an excuse to tell you about that time I tried Hugh Jackman's workout and obliterated my forearms.
I'm here to point out all the irritating things I saw people do at my GoodLife gym in the hopes of refreshing you on proper gym etiquette and why we should all follow it.
Let's get cracking.
Filming themselves in the changing room
This shouldn't even have to be a point. If I hadn't experienced this firsthand on multiple occasions, I wouldn't even believe that people could be this self-involved.
But I've watched many burly dudes whip out their phones and start filming themselves shirtless, utterly unaware that they're filming half-naked or naked people behind them without their consent.
I once had a guy come up to me while I was changing and ask me to film him real quick so that he could track his progress. I won't repeat what I said to him, but it's the closest I've come to fighting someone shirtless in my whole life.
No tough guy shtick here. I have zero doubt that he would've folded me like an old lawn chair if I had let my temper get the best of me. But, that level of obliviousness bleeds over into disrespect and I have a low tolerance for that in any setting.
Using two machines at once
But what if I'm doing super sets? I don't give a damn what you're doing. This is a public gym in Toronto. Past five o'clock, you're lucky if any machines are available, and you're going to take up two machines because what? Your grind is more important than everyone else's?
I've adjusted many workouts over the years simply because someone was using what I needed. All the benches are taken? Cool, push-ups it is.
Why did I do this? Because it's not my gym, and they got there first. As far as I'm concerned, it's on me to improvise.
I witnessed so many people act like having a GoodLife membership meant they could hog up all the weights and machines they wanted.
They were happy to trade their convenience for everyone else's inconvenience, and it still makes me mad to think about it.
Screaming out reps
I get it. You're tapping into your inner warrior and feel like a barbarian yawp will help you deadlift, and maybe it will, but you're still in public.
People who did this never use to bother me until the day I witnessed an older woman drop her weights after being spooked by someone's desire to scream their lungs out.
She left the gym shortly afterwards, and I never saw her again.
Some people are noise sensitive, and while involuntary groans happen during strenuous workouts, yelling out your rep numbers like Hulk Hogan in his prime in a public setting is overkill.
Not wiping off their sweat from the bench
Don't be gross. Your GoodLife membership includes towel service for a reason. No one wants to sit in other people's sweat.
I witnessed way too many people leave a pool of sweat on a bench or seat and just trot off, only for someone else to have to come along and clean it off for them.
I've done it, it's stomach-churning, but the alternative is to sit down regardless, which always seemed way worse.
Take 30 seconds and clean up your mess, folks. It's the right thing to do.
Staring at people using the machine you want to use
Again, I've been down the fitness rabbit hole, so I know how important it is to structure workouts in a way that allows you to hit certain muscles within a specific time limit.
But loitering over someone while they finish their workout is creepy and annoying. Not only do you kill the vibe of the person trying to get into a groove in front of you, but you also look like an impatient jerk in the process.
Here are the better alternatives:
- Stay in the vicinity and do some stretches until they've finished
- Ask the person how many reps they have left or if you can work-in with them
- Find a plan B exercise that hits the same muscle
Blasting music from a portable speaker
This one never failed to baffle me. Why not just wear headphones?
I'm already being subjected to the pop radio the gym is playing, and now I have to listen to two songs playing at once because you thought bringing in that janky Bose speaker you got in 2014 was an acceptable option.
I suspect these are the same people who blast their beats on the subway like no one minds. We do mind, we mind a lot, and if you were a considerate person, you would stop and join the rest of us in the decent human being club. We're always looking for new members.
Use the gym as a spot to hang out
Working out with a friend is one thing, but clamouring around a gym in groups of six, being loud and obnoxious, is another bag.
I drowned out countless annoying conversations and oblivious crowdings from friend groups during the years I worked out at GoodLife.
I'm not judging, either. I know if I got all my closest friends together in a gym, there'd be shenanigans as well, but that's also why I've never done it.
If I'm hanging with friends, I want to be able to talk and joke around without constantly getting in someone else's way.
If you're co-dependent to the point where you can't even hit the gym without the boys or gals tagging along, that's a problem.
Hopefully, these tips will inspire you to be a more thoughtful gym rat. Some are easy mistakes to make, so don't be too hard on yourself if you're guilty of one or two. Just adjust.
9:30 a.m. class at F45 Yorkville with Mark Wahlberg.