8 Things You Need To Know For August 12

Good morning — Andrew from Narcity here! ☕

Off The Top: The second-worst part about OnlyFans is when the "26-year-old bikini model" you've been DMing ends up being a 45-year-old man from Laos. The worst part is when your favourite model is 100% real but has been arrested on murder charges.

In Case You Missed It

1. What Happens When Ontario's 'Strong Mayor' Bill Passes

In what is being presented as an effort to "support efficient local decision-making," the Ontario government is proposing a bill that would create so-called "strong mayors" in Toronto and Ottawa. As Alex Arsenych reports, the Tories' Strong Mayor, Building Homes Act would grant the mayors the power to veto bylaws approved by their city council — but only if they relate to "provincial priorities."

• I'm Sorry, What? If that sounds like unprecedented power, you're right; the mayors of Ontario's two biggest cities have never yielded that degree of control. However, there would be some checks and balances in place: council could essentially veto the mayor's veto with a two-thirds majority vote.
• My Take: Presumably, they will eventually have to add another mayoral veto in the event that city council overrides the mayor's original veto.

2. Enough Misinformation: Here's What Monkeypox Is Really Like

"I had an excruciatingly painful experience," Toronto's Peter Kelly tells our Brooke Houghton about his bout with monkeypox. The reality, however, is that the 28-year-old professional dancer is still dealing with the lingering effects of the viral illness he contracted in late May; bowel movements and sex are still a challenge. The other unpleasant side effect for Kelly? Their openness about dealing with monkeypox has been met by brutal homophobia. Read Brooke's illuminating interview with Kelly here.

• His Own Words: "Honestly, I just think we need to recognize it isn't only a gay thing," Kelly said. "It can happen to anyone. It just happens to be spreading more commonly currently with men that have sex with men."
  

3. Canada's Wonderland Is Getting A Pair Of New Rides

Canadian thrill-seekers will be excited to know that Canada's Wonderland will be adding two new rides into the mix. Tundra Twister will be a first-of-its-kind "giant 360-degree spinning swing ride" that will spin at 75 km/h. The kid-friendly Planet Snoopy section of the park will also boast Wonderland's 18th roller coaster once Snoopy's Racing Railway opens up. Alex Arsenych has more details on the latest attractions.

• Counterpoint: There have been a number of serious incidents at Canadian theme parks over the years — a few of which have resulted in death. Tristan Wheeler takes us through seven of the most notable occurrences.
• Stray Thought: Does anyone under 50 have strong feelings about Snoopy?
  

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What Else You Need To Know Today

🎉 HOLIDAYS
Today marks Shop Online for Groceries Day and, come on, seriously? Whichever company invented that crappy fake holiday wasn't even trying. If you want to celebrate an occasion that doesn't insult your intelligence, it's also World Elephant Day.

💸 DOLLAR DEALS
We all know that Dollarama's the place to go for 85 cent O'Henry bars with Jurassic Park: Dominion promotional tie-ins on the wrapper. However, Sarah Rohoman recently visited the low-cost retailer and found a whole whack of random treasures, from Star Wars Pyrex to the oddest flipflops you've ever seen.

🪙 UN-COIN-TROVERSIAL
On the subject of dollars, the Royal Canadian Mint will start circulating a new commemorative loonie starting August 15. The design will feature legendary Canadian jazz pianist Oscar Peterson and some of the coins will feature a dash of purple.

📌 JOB BOARD
If you're looking for a job that allows you to a) work from home and b) develop your Yellowstone cosplay, Charlie Hart compiled a list of six remote jobs with Alberta-based companies. From Lululemon to an interpretation service, here's who's hiring.

🎂 BIRTHDAYS
Happy 30th birthday to Megan Thee Stallion simp Cara Delevingne. Heavyweight boxing champ Tyson Fury is rumbling his way into 34. Canadian winter Olympics legends Cindy Klassen (43) and Hayley Wickenheiser (44) both celebrate their birthdays today. Oscar winner (and J.Lo's brother-in-law) Casey Affleck turns 47. Sir Mix-a-Lot's turning 59 (and I cannot lie; you other brothers can't deny).

Thanks for reading Narcity's Canada Morning Brief — the newsletter exclusively produced by someone who isn't the primary subject of an active murder investigation.

Send all of your best Dollarama finds (and other questions or comments) to andrew.potter@narcity.com.

Enjoy your weekend. I will see you back here on Monday!