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Summary

A 'Farmcore' Ontario Home Is Selling For $800K & You Might Never Need To Buy Groceries Again

Flannel required.

76 Crystal Road, Jasper, ON.

76 Crystal Road, Jasper, ON.

Contributing Writer

If farmcore had to have a peak real estate moment, it would probably look something like 76 Crystal Road – an Ontario home that brings to mind juicier descriptors such as "rustic" and "snuggly."

The five-bedroom, two-bathroom home sits on a massive 36-acre permaculture farm in Jasper and provides buyers with "a turn-key opportunity" to step into a whole new life.

The frontyard at 76 Crystal Road, Jasper, ON.The frontyard at 76 Crystal Road, Jasper, ON. Rob Garvin | RE/MAX

The lush property looks like something Gandalf would love to wander through. It features a mix of hayfields, pastures, and fruit trees. You can also make sugar from the nearby maples. Pancakes, man!

Aerial view of 76 Crystal Road, Jasper, ON.Aerial view of 76 Crystal Road, Jasper, ON.Rob Garvin | RE/MAX

The opportunity might not appeal to the lazy, as the yard also houses a chicken coop and three spacious greenhouses – all of which demand heavy-duty maintenance. You're basically inheriting someone's Animal Crossing Island, but in real life.

The porch, 76 Crystal Road, Jasper, ON.The porch, 76 Crystal Road, Jasper, ON.Rob Garvin | RE/MAX

The home's interior is where farmcore truly comes to life. It's a dream world that would've been imagined earlier, but, alas, Bob Ross mostly painted landscapes.

Inside the kitchen of 76 Crystal Road, Jasper, ON.Inside the kitchen of 76 Crystal Road, Jasper, ON.Rob Garvin | RE/MAX

If you're someone who lives to sip tea and ponder deep thoughts, you will vibe with the living room. However, you might be reduced to life in sweat pants as the coziness seems irresistible.

The cozy living area inside 76 Crystal Road, Jasper, ON.The cozy living area inside 76 Crystal Road, Jasper, ON.Rob Garvin | RE/MAX

Two green thumbs up for plant life! If you plan and watch just the right amount of YouTube videos, you can get into self-sufficiency avoid ever having to go to the grocery again. And that, my friends, is an encouraging thought.

One of the property's greenhouses.One of the property's greenhouses.Rob Garvin | RE/MAX

Hobby musicians who need an audience can even lure their friends repeatedly, thanks to the property's outdoor fireplace. You can almost hear the distant echoes of "Wonderwall" howling through the woods.

A fireplace at 76 Crystal Road, Jasper, ON.A fireplace at 76 Crystal Road, Jasper, ON.Rob Garvin | RE/MAX

Farmcore Home

76 Crystal Road, Jasper, ON.

76 Crystal Road, Jasper, ON.

Rob Garvin | RE/MAX

Price: $799,900

Address: 76 Crystal Rd., Jasper, ON

Description: A farmcore dream house and a viable safe haven during the province's inventible zombie uprising.

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  • Contributing Writer

    Patrick John Gilson (he/him) is a Contributing Writer with Narcity Media. He is a pro at ensuring his content is both exciting and tailored to millennials. He specializes in breaking news and investigative stories that require him to be on scene— something he enjoys and thrives in.

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